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Me and my boys

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Lorna9

Member since
November 2019

1 post

Posted Thu December 12, 2019 3:13pmReport post

Hi, Ive been trying to find the words to write, I found this forum a few days after I had the knock at the door but currently finding it very difficult. So we had the knock 5 weeka ago. We have 3 young boys and right now I'm having to find the strength to carry on with normal day to day life and work. My partner is currently on bail and is allowed to be at home with supervised contact. I feel so alone, trying to get my head around all of this, I feel like he's destroyed me and our boys. Investigation is currently on going and could do do a very long time with the content they have found. I'm exhausted, working full time and doing it all alone in reality. How do you all cope? How do you keep that smile on your face for your children? Xx

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Thu December 12, 2019 4:46pmReport post

Hi Lorna,

Thank you for posting and seeking advice on here. This forum has been a huge support for me. Particularly in the early days.

I'm 5 months post knock. I did not see, or hear from my partner until 2 weeks ago when I went to see him. My partner did not live with me. Nor is he the father of my children. We had been together for years however and like everyone it came as a complete shock. For the first few weeks or so I was numb. It was awful. Crying all of the time, trying to pretend to be normal but everything was far from it. My saving grace was that we didn't live together, have financial ties or share the children. It must be so so much harder for those that do. I had the knock, no contact and that was it. It was awful, however, life carried on. In a few months I was happier than I'd ever been. Life does settle into a routine.

Has your other half given his side? Or admitted, denied it? I felt better when I finally did hear his version of events. We have heard nothing since the knock. His bail has been extended and he's due in for another interview with the police I believe in Feb. It will get better.

Please reach out on here. No body judges anyone's decisions. I went from no contact and complete hatred, to supporting my ex. Sadly he is not allowed near any of my, or his own, children at present.

Hugs xxx

SallyBlue

Member since
March 2019

268 posts

Posted Thu December 12, 2019 5:11pmReport post

Lorna, I am 5 years on with 2 girls. In the begining it feels as if you just cant go on. Your whole life has came crashing down so quickly without warning. It gets easy sweetheart. Your mama bear instincts just seem to kick in and all you can think about is keeping your babies safe, healthy and happy.

To me it was like there were 2 versions of me. The happy mum during day and the devastated wife at night. You just plod on. Getting up and dressed is an achievement in itsown right. As long as your boys are fed, warm, healthy and happy it's a good day. X

Tutleymutley

Member since
November 2019

104 posts

Posted Fri December 13, 2019 3:07pmReport post

You ALL sound like such wonderful caring Mums. X. My son is all grown up and just happened to be at home when the 'knock' came. He's been so cross with his Dad since (who was his role model and idol until this happened). But they are talking and I'm confident they will work it out. Takes time love and compassion. X