Do I leave?
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It's been almost 2 years since the knock, May 2023. My partner held his innocence after I found telegram messages of him trying to buy CSAM. He didn't proceed of his own accord, but within the messages he did get a collage of images of what kind of thing the guy was selling. He received 2 years on the SOR and a caution. He's almost 1 year done on the 2 years now and he's recently completed 10 therapy sessions (psychosexual counselling) as provided by SS. Case with social was closed in September last year (we have 3 young boys). He's a very good dad and a good partner but I just have no trust in him. We have the accountable 2 you app so I'm notified of any questionable activity, he's been porn free since the arrest (as porn led him down the pathway of Omegle then the telegram messages). I just am so wary of him now. Wary of him around our boys (he's allowed to be unsupervised now but when he is I can't help but worry he'll harm them), wary that maybe he has another phone somewhere and is using it to watch porn or worse. Wary that he could be cheating on me. He knows I don't trust him and of my worries, I just don't know what we can do to repair us.
Spike,
No one can tell you to leave or stay but I feel your pain.
I am paranoid at times too, worse when I read about someone reoffending, and the very fact I had no idea when it was first happening plays on my head but I do know what to look out for now. Even if my husband's actions had no illegal aspects, he was in chatrooms/webcam girls etc, an environment married men don't belong in and I was none the wiser.
I don't know if trust can be repaired and would be great to hear from people who had successfully.
All I can say is that you deserve happiness and you can decide what needs to be done, and what that looks like for you and your children.
No one can tell you to leave or stay but I feel your pain.
I am paranoid at times too, worse when I read about someone reoffending, and the very fact I had no idea when it was first happening plays on my head but I do know what to look out for now. Even if my husband's actions had no illegal aspects, he was in chatrooms/webcam girls etc, an environment married men don't belong in and I was none the wiser.
I don't know if trust can be repaired and would be great to hear from people who had successfully.
All I can say is that you deserve happiness and you can decide what needs to be done, and what that looks like for you and your children.
Run, leave and just move on.
He decided to do what he did.
Life is bigger than his actions.
Be happy, move on and just enjoy the future.
He decided to do what he did.
Life is bigger than his actions.
Be happy, move on and just enjoy the future.
I won't tell you to leave.... But if I felt wary there was a possibility that anyone could harm my children I wouldn't allow any unsupervised access and although hes 'allowed' it now if you feel this way I would urge you to A) consider leaving to protect your children and B) contact social services/probation to talk about your concerns and restricting unsupervised access. You should go with your gut, the mistrust you describe sounds like he hasnt convinced you that he's to be trusted, and to feel that way he must be showing you things that raise your suspicions/your anxiety about him. Always trust your gut where protecting your children is concerned, if you feel uneasy you need to think seriously about why.