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Haze23

Member since
December 2023

41 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 8:25pmReport post

Hello,

it's been six months since my OH received a suspended sentence. Without going into the ins and outs it was quite a big shock as we were expecting a very low sentence.

when we received the knock all I wished for was to get sentencing over with and to move on with our lives and get back to some sort of normal as quickly as possible .... but yet six months on everyday I find myself still checking courtserve reading about all the cases looking at the local online newspaper and I'm shocked to see how they twist every word into clickbait. It seems to a big operation in where I live so these stories come out daily. I Check on this site reading all the posts and saving any with advise. I'm still avoiding family and friends with excuses not to meet up. Everyday I think of my life and what could of been... is this my new normal I feel I have completely changed as a person and this has consumed me. I have been robbed of happiness time with my child and stability. I feel as if I have been sentenced as well. I have learned so much about the CPS court system, social workers and the police in the last year it's been more than a full time job really. As I can't exactly go around shouting my business I can't even explain to anyone who is around me in work and social life why I feel so down



thanks for reading x

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

297 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 9:17pmReport post

We are 11 months since sentence a month to go and I am rhe same I can't seem to stop reading it all, my oh since new year is for sure in a better place yet time seems to have stood still for me

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

820 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 9:26pmReport post

Hi Haze, your local media sound very like the media in my local area, you don't happen to live somewhere in the South do you?

My person is my son and not my OH so my situation differs to yours but I did struggle for the first 6 months or so. I was fortunate in that I was able to self refer to a mental health wellbeing organisation in my local area which helped me in moving forward.

I am now 14 months post sentencing. I do still have wobbles and can become emotional and anxious very easily but overall life is now much better than it was 2 years ago.

Haze23

Member since
December 2023

41 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 5:14pmReport post

Thanks for sharing both. Im in south wales and these stories come out daily it seems to be a common theme that policing is mostly online now.

i can't stop myself from reading all the stories and feeling sad for the families and then sad for my own family and all the missed opportunities for being happy and well just normality I just can't see how things will ever be the same again as

I feel all our dreams and ambitions have been shattered for things as simple as holidays / moving house / financial stability

as everything has fallen to me for support and finance so in a way I feel more punished than my OH.

Edited Tue January 7, 2025 5:34pm