Family and Friends Forum

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 5:50pmReport post

My children are on a CPP. Social services have said my older children are to have no contact. On a few occasions when my partner has phoned to check in on our youngest my older 2 have heard him on the phone and run down to say hello, they say hi then I tell them to go back upstairs. As I've always cut the conversation short I've never told tbe Social worker however today she asked the children if they talk to him and they both said yes they talk to him on the phone. She's coming out tomorrow to see me but am I going to get in severe trouble for this or what. My anxiety is through the roof????

Scared to Death

Member since
November 2024

15 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 6:53pmReport post

Hey (((hugs)))

I have no advice, but I didn't want to read and run. My children are adults so Im not in your situation, but sometimes when we're anxious we over think every scenario.

You seem like you're in a difficult position and I'm sure SS will understand, I've only had to deal with them once, and I found them quite understanding when I explained the situation.

Dealing with what we're all going through in an anxious state is just horrendous.



sending love xxx

sunshine5

Member since
June 2024

46 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 7:03pmReport post

Some things are out of your control - like your children coming in whilst you are on the phone to him. SS need to be realistic that children do overhear and listen into conversations and that what has happened hasn't put anyone in any danger. The anxiety it's giving you worrying is however detrimental as kids pick up on our anxiety so I would highlight that to the social worker. Sending love and hugs to you x

UltimateBetrayal

Member since
December 2024

1 post

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 7:23pmReport post

My eldest can't be in the house when ex calls my boys, they're all on CIN plans but I'm terrified of things escalating. I find it all so stressful.



try not to worry, often the outcome isn't as bad as what you were worrying about

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 8:41pmReport post

Thankyou sunshine I guess so I'm just really worried how they'll take it and how much trouble it's going to cause. I spoke to my social worker yesterday and I told her I have really bad anxiety at the moment. I'm just thinking the worst at the moment I've convinced myself that she's going to come and take the children away from me tomorrow and it's driving me insane

Pinkey2019

Member since
July 2022

57 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 9:03pmReport post

Hey hun they can just come and take the kids away have the been tould they can't speck to him and also it's not like he came to the house and saw them in person hope you are ok x

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 9:24pmReport post

Pinkey do you mean they can come and take them?

All they said Is there allowed no contact he's jot to see them which they haven't. It's just been a few occasions when they hear me on the phone to him.

Pinkey2019

Member since
July 2022

57 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 9:39pmReport post

Hi I mean to say they can't take them they need court order to do that they can't just come and take them what did the social woker say when you spoke to her .

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 9:43pmReport post

Nothing she didn't mention it, she just said she'd be out tomorrow to see me. but my son come out of school and told me she'd been to see them and then told me what was said asked if he'd spoken to him and he said yes on the phone I say hello.. I feel awful, my anxiety is going mental. I genuinely feel like I'm going to have a heart attack

Pinkey2019

Member since
July 2022

57 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 9:50pmReport post

Hun I understand all you say to her is I was in the phone to him and the kids came down and just said hi that's all if she says they can speck to him then you can say that's fine next time you will make sure you put the phone down and not speck in front of them . Have they spoke about haveing risk assessment done .

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 10:08pmReport post

I'm currently having a protective parenting assessment and theybhave said its up to his probation worker to do his risk assessment

Pinkey2019

Member since
July 2022

57 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 10:13pmReport post

So can't he not ask his probation to do the risk assessment .

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 11:05pmReport post

His probation worker said last time he see her until he's done a course or something it won't change but he can't get on any at the moment he's got to ask again when he sees her

Lostandalone

Member since
September 2024

40 posts

Posted Wed January 8, 2025 6:07pmReport post

How did it go today?

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Wed January 8, 2025 7:19pmReport post

She cancelled our meeting but phoned me, had a go at me. Told me I'm not protecting the children by allowing them to talk to him even if it is just a quick hello. Said they're picking up on conversations and things and that's confusing them. Said she's worried about my son and the way he's handling everything (which I spoke to her about on Monday and actually asked her to go to see them to talk to him) and that it was all my fault. How can I expect the children to acknowledge he's a danger if they're still hearing me on tbe phone talking as if nothing has happened. She said I say all the right things but she doesn't believe a word I say. Then when I asked for her advice on what to do going forward she literally said to me "I'm not here to give you advice use your own intuition"

marauder91

Member since
November 2024

88 posts

Posted Wed January 8, 2025 7:23pmReport post

Today's meeting was also to discuss another arrangement for supervised contact as my mum will no longer supervise smd so my partner hasn't actually seen our daughter since before Christmas. So today we was supposed to be sorting that but obviously that wasn't done and she's said it will probably be next week she comes out now. Which is another week he goes without our daughter. I don't know whether to ask for a new social worker or not. Maybe talk to a solicitor and get some advice, I don't know what to do for the best right now