23 and his life over before it really starts
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Got the knock Thursday morning, the police arrested my son for pocession of indecent material and they took all his electronics, from what I can gather he didn't take the police up on a duty solicitor so he was alone, I've always told him to tell the truth and he has said he told them everything, he was realeased after 4 hrs and sent home with nothing but a leaflet with a helpline number on it, he's not been charged yet but pending investigation, no idea how long that will take, I've Been trying to talk to him but he's always been really quiet and shy and doesn't really talk about his feelings, apparently it started when he was struggling with university, we've had a shitty few years with deaths and illnesses in the family and he ended up leaving uni half way through his 2nd year with severe depression and put on anti depressants, he's said it's been happening for 2 years, he's doesn't know why he kept looking, he hated himself and was disgusted but couldn't seem to stop, 24 hrs after being arrested he was forced to resign from his job, he works at a hospital, so he now will have no money for bills, I just keep seeing my sweet boy and wondering why, I don't understand, how should I be feeling, can't stop crying and not sleeping or eating, everything just going over and over in my head, my husband is just angry, I'm just scared for him, it's only been 48 hrs and it feels like his life is over
Hi, I'm a couple of days ahead of you - they came and took my 29 yr sons equipment earlier in the week, no arrest yet but it will happen, he's admitted it. Just wanted to reach out and let you know you're not on your own
Hi we are 15months post knock. It's my husband so slightly different to you but similar feelings. Trust me when I say your not alone. All the feelings you have are completely normal. Mixed emotions happen to all of us. We are all supportive on here, however if you wanted a bit of private advice on mumsnet there is some of us on there too. Here if you want to vent or want advice. Sorry you've found yourself in the club that no one wanted to be a in.
Sending you virtual hugs x
Sending you virtual hugs x
Thanks ladies, I'm just numb I think, not sure how I'm supposed to act, he's just sat in his room watching tv and not communicating at all, I just keep going to check he's ok as I keep thinking he's going to do something stupid which has been a worry since he's been depressed in the past, my husband has buried his head in a computer game and I'm just sat not knowing how to be,
Hi, you r not alone, its a horrid place to be in, especially when you have never had anything to do with the police, its frightening, not knowing any of the process which will follow, its a felling of doom and gloom, a feeling of will this nightmare ever end... you need to look after urself and then only you will be able to help your son. This is an extremely supportive and kind place, all on here been affected by this new evil in society through the actions of our loved ones, its hard to understand why they would do something like this, but its an illness which needs treatment with lots of support and understanding.... send ing you big hug, hang in there xxx
Hi K
Im so sorry to hear about your son. I have a son around your sons age but he was not convicted of indecent images. He was convicted of communication with a 14/15 year old. The images he had were if the girl he spoke to who sent them to him.
what your feeling right now is normal. Sorry to tell you that it's likely to get worse before it gets better but it does definitely get better. I know this as we are over a year in and several months in to him being convicted. In our case arrest to conviction was about seven months. We are in Scotland so things are a bit different. We have no crown prosecution service. We have a procurator fiscal but the police here can charge without asking permission so my son was charged the day he was arrested.
.all I can say is look after your own mind as well as yours sons because I did not do that and it led to almost dire consequences. I honestly thought I wouldn't get through it but I did and so will you. I know people say it all the time but honestly time does heal. In the long run you will find a new normal. You find you have to simply because life has to go on.
i was on mumsnet before but something went wrong and I couldn't get back into it but I've managed to get back on today. My username is nicenana 1. If anyone wants to chat in private then feel free to send a message. Also anyone in Scotland would be nice to hear from as well because there's so few here I can talk to just like the majority of people on here x
Im so sorry to hear about your son. I have a son around your sons age but he was not convicted of indecent images. He was convicted of communication with a 14/15 year old. The images he had were if the girl he spoke to who sent them to him.
what your feeling right now is normal. Sorry to tell you that it's likely to get worse before it gets better but it does definitely get better. I know this as we are over a year in and several months in to him being convicted. In our case arrest to conviction was about seven months. We are in Scotland so things are a bit different. We have no crown prosecution service. We have a procurator fiscal but the police here can charge without asking permission so my son was charged the day he was arrested.
.all I can say is look after your own mind as well as yours sons because I did not do that and it led to almost dire consequences. I honestly thought I wouldn't get through it but I did and so will you. I know people say it all the time but honestly time does heal. In the long run you will find a new normal. You find you have to simply because life has to go on.
i was on mumsnet before but something went wrong and I couldn't get back into it but I've managed to get back on today. My username is nicenana 1. If anyone wants to chat in private then feel free to send a message. Also anyone in Scotland would be nice to hear from as well because there's so few here I can talk to just like the majority of people on here x
My husband wasnt much older when he was arrested. It may feel like it but his life isnt over. There is a way past it. We are 5 years on, my husband loves with me and our children. I love him just as much as I ever had. Employment can be difficult, friends etc but there is a way. One day at a time my love. X
Hi nicenana I've sent you a message on mumsnet hope you get it okay x
Hi becky
i just got it yes as well as sally blue message. I think I've sent a reply x
i just got it yes as well as sally blue message. I think I've sent a reply x
Hi kiriella
I am also a mum of a son of a similar age to yours and arrested for images , my son also wouldn't talk much about it and just stayed in his room watching TV, I too was so worried and sick , he lost his job , but has been charged and has now got a new career , so there can be light at the end of a very long dark tunnel and it's important you let him know this , even the detective said to my son you are young , dont let this define you , if you want to chat I'm on mumsnet , if I can help please just ask I'm here for you
I am also a mum of a son of a similar age to yours and arrested for images , my son also wouldn't talk much about it and just stayed in his room watching TV, I too was so worried and sick , he lost his job , but has been charged and has now got a new career , so there can be light at the end of a very long dark tunnel and it's important you let him know this , even the detective said to my son you are young , dont let this define you , if you want to chat I'm on mumsnet , if I can help please just ask I'm here for you
Thank you so much. This what I needed to hear. And I hope I can also help as I have a wide range of experience.
oh Cynthia Veronica that's just awful for you all.
He has obviously tried to turn his life round and get horrible jobs but it's all gone against him, how sad for you all
I guess I understand why his dad is angry but I would imagine that's mixed with heart break for your son
You must be feeling torn over the same thing, in the one hand sad but also wanting to shake him
Please keep coming on here, the support is amazing as is the helpline and there is always Mumsnet for you to privately message people if you wanted to
Thinking about you all xx
He has obviously tried to turn his life round and get horrible jobs but it's all gone against him, how sad for you all
I guess I understand why his dad is angry but I would imagine that's mixed with heart break for your son
You must be feeling torn over the same thing, in the one hand sad but also wanting to shake him
Please keep coming on here, the support is amazing as is the helpline and there is always Mumsnet for you to privately message people if you wanted to
Thinking about you all xx
Thank you Tracey and poster. This now my go to space.