Visit from OIC today
Notifications OFF
OIC paid an unexpected visit to my OH today while I was at work.
He said that they either have, or are expecting devices back and should be able to 'wrap this up' at the next bail meeting on 20 February. If I had been here I would have asked what he meant. Less than 6 months seems a very quick turnaround as they took a total of 17 devices - best guess they scanned them all at the station and only sent a couple for forensics (phone and iPad probably).
There is no doubt that my OH is guilty (one online converstion - not sure if a decoy) but maintains that he thought it was an adult as he had been having these adult conversations for some months. He will be pleading guilty if it goes to court, which I think it will.
We have a meeting with solicitor tomorrow afternoon to go through everything. We don't know if the bail meeting will be a 2nd interview or charges brought.
We had done really well settling into our version of normal and this has now brought all the anxiety to the forefront again. One moment you are conveniently ignoring the elephant in the room - next minute it's charging at you full pelt and there is nowhere to run.
I'm terrified for my OH and his mental health - he already attempted suicide right back at the start in August.
I've asked for full disclosure as I don't want the first time I hear stuff to be in the court room. I've steeled myself for the possibility that he has been minimising (lying) to me, but he has agreed that I can have full disclosure which gives me hope.
He is doing the Safer Lives course and I have a start date for my Inform course.
i guess I'm just reaching out for a virtual hug from you lovely lot. Only you ladies (and few gents on here) understand how I am feeling.
He said that they either have, or are expecting devices back and should be able to 'wrap this up' at the next bail meeting on 20 February. If I had been here I would have asked what he meant. Less than 6 months seems a very quick turnaround as they took a total of 17 devices - best guess they scanned them all at the station and only sent a couple for forensics (phone and iPad probably).
There is no doubt that my OH is guilty (one online converstion - not sure if a decoy) but maintains that he thought it was an adult as he had been having these adult conversations for some months. He will be pleading guilty if it goes to court, which I think it will.
We have a meeting with solicitor tomorrow afternoon to go through everything. We don't know if the bail meeting will be a 2nd interview or charges brought.
We had done really well settling into our version of normal and this has now brought all the anxiety to the forefront again. One moment you are conveniently ignoring the elephant in the room - next minute it's charging at you full pelt and there is nowhere to run.
I'm terrified for my OH and his mental health - he already attempted suicide right back at the start in August.
I've asked for full disclosure as I don't want the first time I hear stuff to be in the court room. I've steeled myself for the possibility that he has been minimising (lying) to me, but he has agreed that I can have full disclosure which gives me hope.
He is doing the Safer Lives course and I have a start date for my Inform course.
i guess I'm just reaching out for a virtual hug from you lovely lot. Only you ladies (and few gents on here) understand how I am feeling.
I really don't think they should be swinging by the house unannounced. Isn't that something that could easily be put in an email? 6-9 months seems to be the new norm in certain parts of the country like Merseyside.
Yes I was really surprised that he had turned up unannounced and seemingly quite chatty when previously he has been quite unapproachable. I so wish I had been here!
Feb 20th will be 6 months from arrest.
We are both now so worried.
Feb 20th will be 6 months from arrest.
We are both now so worried.
It depends how the force where you are operates but the OIC needs to review the reports that come back from forensics and write their own report. That also takes time and it is the CPS that finalises the charges. Add another month at least. So I doubt your Feb date will be charges at this stage. Maybe another interview.
OH wasn't sure if the OIC said they had the devices or they were expecting the devices back, that's why I wish I'd been here - I would have been more inclined to ask questions. OH clams up with anxiety and doesn't remember stuff properly. I've lost count of how many times I've had to repeat things!
I think you are right tho - 2nd interview is likely. X
I think you are right tho - 2nd interview is likely. X
This is just my experience but I can't tell you how many comments given to me by officers, solicitors, Barristers and SS's turned out to be complete and utter nonsense. Sometimes it was laughable what they said to me! I don't believe a word they say. X
Ours is similar location. Currently on 7month bail. But was told because they are still waiting for the phone to come back. So I wonder did they check my oh other devices at the station? Also, if anything was on them would they of acted or wait until the phones back? X
I'm sending you my virtual hug during this mind spinning time xxxxxxx
Hello Lost, here is a virtual hug from me to you. You are doing great.
Sending you a hug. My OH had a surprise visit from OIC last year. He was dropping paperwork off to be signed and sent off to the magistrates for bail to be extended. He should've been back then to answer his bail in March ( 18 months since arrest ) OIC phoned on New Years Day in the evening to say they were bringing the date forward. Said he wanted to ' speed things up' now for my OH. It does bring it all crashing back as you get used to living this new normal xx
Thank you for all the advice and hugs x
Saw the solicitor today which was quite triggering for both of us. He was doubtful that the OIC was being honest by saying it may all be 'wrapped up' by February.
But he is going to contact OIC for an update and let us know.
OH signed to give me full disclosure.
I remain hopeful that he has told me the truth and is not minimising however nothing is certain. Hoping I have the strength to see this through - today it's a struggle. The sense of betrayal has hit me like a sledgehammer today. Fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day
Saw the solicitor today which was quite triggering for both of us. He was doubtful that the OIC was being honest by saying it may all be 'wrapped up' by February.
But he is going to contact OIC for an update and let us know.
OH signed to give me full disclosure.
I remain hopeful that he has told me the truth and is not minimising however nothing is certain. Hoping I have the strength to see this through - today it's a struggle. The sense of betrayal has hit me like a sledgehammer today. Fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day