This weeks update…
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Hi everyone,
I had a good safety plan in place, we don't live together anyway but always had no overnight stays, no unsupervised contact etc. he's not their biological Dad so it's been easier to navigate. Me and my boys were happy (our home is a happier place all round with my OH in it), my OH felt supported and we were ticking along nicely. SS have started their assessment and I have not been told 'yet' to change those arrangements. However my parents said to me last week that they didn't think my OH should be visiting my home until this comes out the other side. It made me feel uncomfortable and awkward and so I told my OH. We have reluctantly agreed that's what we will do, although the people it really impacts, the 4 of us, we aren't happy about it. My eldest gave me a hug after tea last night saying I looked like I needed it, bless him (I did!!!). I've felt this week like I'm trying to please others and manage what others will think of me and my kids 'if' this gets out - and at the age of 46 it's made me frustrated that people can't respect and trust my decision (even if they don't agree with it) and I now feel far more isolated and much more lonely.
in positive news, I finally called the StopitNow helpline and had a lovely supportive chat. She told me I'd done all the right things up to now and I'm continuing to do the right things, so that felt good to hear. After speaking to her I felt like some of the weight I was feeling had been lifted and I couldn't be more thankful that we have this available to us. I've started the process to sign up for Inform, so I'm really looking forward to getting started with that.
LFF Team - I'm at the point now where is just love to know someone locally on the forum who's going through the same thing. Someone to FaceTime, go for a walk or a coffee with and put the world to rights. Not sure if connecting people in that way is a possibility, and I'm not sure if others feel the same, but putting the idea out there xx
I had a good safety plan in place, we don't live together anyway but always had no overnight stays, no unsupervised contact etc. he's not their biological Dad so it's been easier to navigate. Me and my boys were happy (our home is a happier place all round with my OH in it), my OH felt supported and we were ticking along nicely. SS have started their assessment and I have not been told 'yet' to change those arrangements. However my parents said to me last week that they didn't think my OH should be visiting my home until this comes out the other side. It made me feel uncomfortable and awkward and so I told my OH. We have reluctantly agreed that's what we will do, although the people it really impacts, the 4 of us, we aren't happy about it. My eldest gave me a hug after tea last night saying I looked like I needed it, bless him (I did!!!). I've felt this week like I'm trying to please others and manage what others will think of me and my kids 'if' this gets out - and at the age of 46 it's made me frustrated that people can't respect and trust my decision (even if they don't agree with it) and I now feel far more isolated and much more lonely.
in positive news, I finally called the StopitNow helpline and had a lovely supportive chat. She told me I'd done all the right things up to now and I'm continuing to do the right things, so that felt good to hear. After speaking to her I felt like some of the weight I was feeling had been lifted and I couldn't be more thankful that we have this available to us. I've started the process to sign up for Inform, so I'm really looking forward to getting started with that.
LFF Team - I'm at the point now where is just love to know someone locally on the forum who's going through the same thing. Someone to FaceTime, go for a walk or a coffee with and put the world to rights. Not sure if connecting people in that way is a possibility, and I'm not sure if others feel the same, but putting the idea out there xx
I agree, there must be so many people going through the same thing and feeling lonely in the area I live. I would love to be able to connect to reduce the feelings of isolation.
But, it is so an emotive subject you are also opening up yourself to strangers who you dont know how they will react. It is such a tricky and sad situation. But I wish more could be done as there are so many lonely women which is such a shame as we could all be there helping each other more, i say more as this forum is a life line and i dread to think what would have happened without this. Xx
But, it is so an emotive subject you are also opening up yourself to strangers who you dont know how they will react. It is such a tricky and sad situation. But I wish more could be done as there are so many lonely women which is such a shame as we could all be there helping each other more, i say more as this forum is a life line and i dread to think what would have happened without this. Xx