Family and Friends Forum

I've honestly got no advice but I really hope you do have some good days.

I'm only 5 weeks into this journey, 1 day last week I had a really nice but busy day. Had what may be my last pregnancy scan and all signs of thr complications that I'd had for 10.weeks seemed to have improved massively. I then went and visited work(already on maternity) for a catch up. Did my weekly shop and had very little time to think about the elephant in my head!

The next day hit me like a ton of bricks, i cried all day and the day after wasnt much better. as much as I know it's unattainable for me to be that occupied the majority of days I'm really trying to live for the better days.

When you have a good day be present in that moment. As much as our lives will very possibly never be how we planned things can change.

sending positive vibes to you.

Lifeisover, I can't not respond. The worst thing about this awful journey is the feeling of being totally alone. This is the reason I look on this forum...... to remind myself I'm not alone. Sorry I can't offer any answers. My own coping strategy is to be so busy with other activities so I don't have time to think. Most days this helps but I'm exhausted. My heart goes out to you xx

I couldn't scroll by without sending you some hugs.

Although my situation is not the same as yours I can empathise, as we are all here for similar reasons and have all had similar thoughts.

Please please reach out to the helpline for support and advice. They are there to help us on this horrific journey we are on

Today my OH (main breadwinner) has had to resign from his job leaving me the only (part time low wage) earner. Sometimes life is absolute shit but we will all get through it and there are happier times to come, even if it doesn't feel like it right now xx

In the beginning I felt exactly the same as you do now I couldn't see a way beyond all of this , it does change , if you have no one to talk to you have this forum I know you prob won't feel much comfort from it just now , youl be looking for a miracle hence were all here together , we've all felt and feel how u feel it's horrific but there is light at then end of the tunnel, plesse speak with your doctor you can trust in them and they can help medically to maybe help , also you can call stop it now helpline they offer great support, is there anyway maybe in the short term you can take a little break ? with the kids even to a family members for a few nights ? Just maybe a small break will clear your head a little, remember this is not anything you or your kids have done there is no way you could have controlled this situation this isn't a choice you have made it was put on you!! plesse don't blame yourself for this there is a forum called talking forward whom are also very helpful please don't carry this burden alone . you do what's right for you and your kids your their mummy and they need you please take care of yourself xx

Hi I really feel for you this is an awful journey and it's a complete rollercoaster of emotions. Try calling the helpline I have before and it helped me emotionally. It's hard and all you can do is take it one day at a time.



Can you get some counselling to maybe help you through this. I'm hopeful starting counselling next month.

Lifeisover, your post really hit me, I know those feelings of fear and dread, of not knowing where to turn, who to turn to or what to do. The suffering is horrible, but there is help out there. When I felt I could no longer carry on, I reached out to a GP through an emergency service for help. I was started on medication for anxiety and gradually I started to be able to breathe again. My anxiety didn't disappear but I started to learn to live with it.

I then went on to access support through Talking therapies, followed by engagement with a mental well being organisation in my local area. Slowly I began to feel able to talk about the situation I had found myself in. I started to realise that I had people in my life I could trust. I started to realise what's important in life and what I can manage without.

The reason I'm telling you this is to give you some hope because although you might not be able to see it now, you won't feel like this forever. In time you'll find you've managed to think of something else for a few minutes, you'll find yourself humming along to a tune you've heard on the radio, you'll notice the sun shining and will laugh again at something your children have done.

Its ok to feel as if everything's falling apart, as if everything's ruined because at the moment it is, you will rebuild but in the meantime reach out for as much help and support as you can find.

I hear you and feel exactly the same. I contacted the Samaritans last night. You can live chat with them. It did help me to put things into a little bit of perspective and I didn't feel judged. Feel free to message me anytime. X

Life is Over I wish I had some wise or comforting words. I feel very similar. I can't see the point in anything.

I look dreadful (how I feel so it makes sense), I feel dreadful, home is dreadful, work is dreadful, I can't sleep, nothing to look forward to, nothing gives me any relief. I've developed a patch of alopecia, patches of red raw sore itchy excema all over my face, chest, arms, and I wonder what else is happening as I feel so rough/nauseous all the time. I'm scared to wash my hair in case it worsens the patch.

I've been avoiding people but I bumped into someone I know today who asked how I am, I said 'I'm good! You?' and she looked puzzled/confused and I realised she had obviously noticed how awful I look so I quickly said I'd had flu and made an escape and sobbed and sobbed. Crying really hurts my face too. you couldn't make it up really.

Life as I knew it is well and truly over. I just keep hoping I find the will to build a new life, but even that feels a bit pointless. And all the while I have to pretend everything is fine. And it's only going to get worse too.

I get it.

My heart goes out to you (Lifeisover) / and I thoroughly understand your emotions which we've all gone through and are going through. It's a very dark time both physically and mentally, I've never in my life felt such pain and anguish + the feelings of loneliness.

There's not much I can add to Oceans post - a lovely lady that speaks so truthfully with beautiful sprinkling of love.

just wanted add another hug xxxx we care and you are not alone x

I think we have all been where you are and can see no way out. I thought about taking my own life more than once.

I'm 2.5 years down the line.

I'm now single and having to face selling my house and buying somewhere new. I'm so scared of the financial implications of this even though I know it will be a new start and I can finally cut all ties with him.

I've taken up new hobbies and made new friends. I've recently met a very sweet bloke who hasn't run a mile when I told him the whole sorry story.

I'm starting to enjoy life again.

There is light at the end of the tunnel but it takes quite a while to get there.

Lifeisover

It's still early days, the shock is still very raw. You do manage to cope. The early part is the hardest, you can do this! None of us want to but you can survive this and we're all here for you.

I felt so ill ) in pain this morning, I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. My partner has already made an appointment with the Dr and not told me and dragged me there.

Turns out I have shingles. Which now makes sense. The Dr was surprised I'd left it so long without doing anything as I'm in so much pain and I didn't say why, but in truth it's because I'd just given up..I felt such a wave of sadness about it when she asked me. but I think it's given me a kick up the bum..I can't give up. As much as I want to, I can't. So I'm going to rest and give myself time to get better and then I'm not sure what next but I have the stop wallowing in it all somehow..

I'm just sharing this Life, because, well I don't know really..in case it helps. We have to find something to hold onto. What that is or looks like I don't know yet x x

Life x

I couldn't just read your post and not respond x

I dont know how early you are on this horrendous journey but as hard as it is your feelings are normal

It's so difficult navigating this with children, I am here because of my son so completely different to yourself x

There are so many wonderful mums here who can offer help and advice xx

Just remember you are not alone and know we are all here to offer support xx

Huge hugs sent xx

hi lifisover my OH reoffended after 10 years he was to come off the register within weeks of the knock it's been very hard for the last 12 months. I've had good days and bad days some days. I've just really hated him for what he's done. I gave up so much for him when I discovered what he had done first time round I wasn't with him when he offended the first time and then to treat me like this and do this the second time it's heartbreaking there are times when you will feel alone and struggleit's not an easy path to walk down but we are all here for you and we will all support you as best we can Please phone the helpline. They are really good. Give out really good advice

sending you love and hugs xx

hi lifisover my OH reoffended after 10 years he was to come off the register within weeks of the knock it's been very hard for the last 12 months. I've had good days and bad days some days. I've just really hated him for what he's done. I gave up so much for him when I discovered what he had done first time round I wasn't with him when he offended the first time and then to treat me like this and do this the second time it's heartbreaking there are times when you will feel alone and struggleit's not an easy path to walk down but we are all here for you and we will all support you as best we can Please phone the helpline. They are really good. Give out really good advice

sending you love and hugs xx