Getting Employment
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So my OH resigned from his job this week after being off sick for the last 5 months. He was due to return, and did so for a few hours (permanent home worker) but it was all too much.
It was the first chance we had to look at the Employee Handbook and he should have told them about the arrest in August at the time, but he was extremely ill with depression and had attempted suicide.
Although there were mitigating circumstances why he didn't inform them we know that it would have resulted in a disciplinary either way. This isn't something that he could have gone through - his mental health is still suffering greatly from the stress of everything.
Also, we are reluctant to tell anyone about this - only our adult children are aware.
They have let him go without the need to work his 12 week notice period
He has started looking for another job and has applied for loads but age is against him. How easy have people found new employment whilst under investigation?
I'm so angry. I'm angry that it has had to come to this. I'm angry with him for putting us in this position although we do have savings so are luckier than some. I'm just angry with everything right now.
He tells me that he couldnt feel any worse than he does and is filled with self loathing. He is trying his best to understand how he got to this place - doing the Safer Lives course is helping with that. We are working on 'us' too and mostly that's going well
I love him dearly but I'm allowed to be angry too aren't I? This has affected every part of our lives, and our kids and grandkids lives too.
Guess I just needed to vent. Starting the Inform course in a couple of weeks so that may help me get a bit of understanding.
It was the first chance we had to look at the Employee Handbook and he should have told them about the arrest in August at the time, but he was extremely ill with depression and had attempted suicide.
Although there were mitigating circumstances why he didn't inform them we know that it would have resulted in a disciplinary either way. This isn't something that he could have gone through - his mental health is still suffering greatly from the stress of everything.
Also, we are reluctant to tell anyone about this - only our adult children are aware.
They have let him go without the need to work his 12 week notice period
He has started looking for another job and has applied for loads but age is against him. How easy have people found new employment whilst under investigation?
I'm so angry. I'm angry that it has had to come to this. I'm angry with him for putting us in this position although we do have savings so are luckier than some. I'm just angry with everything right now.
He tells me that he couldnt feel any worse than he does and is filled with self loathing. He is trying his best to understand how he got to this place - doing the Safer Lives course is helping with that. We are working on 'us' too and mostly that's going well
I love him dearly but I'm allowed to be angry too aren't I? This has affected every part of our lives, and our kids and grandkids lives too.
Guess I just needed to vent. Starting the Inform course in a couple of weeks so that may help me get a bit of understanding.
It is ok to be angry. I still get angry and frustrated seven years on. I can't go with my person to all the places I want abroad. I live in fear it will come out and my life will be turned upside down.
With employment, my person got a job whilst under investigation (as you don't need to disclose unless asked, or in the contract). He thankfully had a job that didn't require him to disclose when convicted.
He then got a job post conviction. It was difficult because many places ask for conviction info. He did a face to face interview where he was asked out right and I don't think that was fair. They terminated the interview.
He did get a role where it was never asked. Been working for five years now and so far not had to do a DBS.
He is thinking of changing jobs tho, and I worry he won't be as lucky as before. But we will see.
In the meantime the job seekers allowance can help. If he is charged and convicted then probation can help if he hasn't found a job by then.
Unlock has resources I believe on employers who take people with convictions. Best to avoid places where children can be present - ie retail.
With employment, my person got a job whilst under investigation (as you don't need to disclose unless asked, or in the contract). He thankfully had a job that didn't require him to disclose when convicted.
He then got a job post conviction. It was difficult because many places ask for conviction info. He did a face to face interview where he was asked out right and I don't think that was fair. They terminated the interview.
He did get a role where it was never asked. Been working for five years now and so far not had to do a DBS.
He is thinking of changing jobs tho, and I worry he won't be as lucky as before. But we will see.
In the meantime the job seekers allowance can help. If he is charged and convicted then probation can help if he hasn't found a job by then.
Unlock has resources I believe on employers who take people with convictions. Best to avoid places where children can be present - ie retail.
Thanks Buckets
I'm not sure he would qualify for job seekers allowance but it's worth looking into.
He has applied for quite a few jobs in the last few days and is really making an effort but age is against him - he's not too far from retirement, but not near enough to take early retirement.
I don't feel angry with him for resigning. The job was slowly killing him and was one of the main causes of his depression. He said he feels like a weight has been lifted and I know that feeling, having been in a similar situation myself. I just wish he had admitted his depression to me before we got into this horrendous situation. It may not have stopped him doing what he did but we will never know now.
I'm just angry with the whole situation, and frustrated with the not knowing. For me that's the hardest part - not being in control.
Hoping the Inform course will help me reconcile these feelings.
I'm not sure he would qualify for job seekers allowance but it's worth looking into.
He has applied for quite a few jobs in the last few days and is really making an effort but age is against him - he's not too far from retirement, but not near enough to take early retirement.
I don't feel angry with him for resigning. The job was slowly killing him and was one of the main causes of his depression. He said he feels like a weight has been lifted and I know that feeling, having been in a similar situation myself. I just wish he had admitted his depression to me before we got into this horrendous situation. It may not have stopped him doing what he did but we will never know now.
I'm just angry with the whole situation, and frustrated with the not knowing. For me that's the hardest part - not being in control.
Hoping the Inform course will help me reconcile these feelings.