What to deal with first grief or trauma
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I've had a double whammy this weekend. Coming to terms with the fact I've been betrayed by the person I trusted most in the world who then 24 after being released from the police station killed himself. He admitted guilt, but I'm struggling to come to terms with being able to grieve for the person I lost and loved but who also has caused me a great deal of trauma and put our children in danger. I don't know if I can grieve for him or just what I thought I had and I've lost.
Florence x
I am so truly sorry for your loss and cannot even begin to understand how you are feeling
I know there were a few other ladies on here that has been in the exact same horrendous situation as you are
I do hope you have support around you xx
I am so truly sorry for your loss and cannot even begin to understand how you are feeling
I know there were a few other ladies on here that has been in the exact same horrendous situation as you are
I do hope you have support around you xx
Oh Florence I'm so sorry for your loss.
My OH attempted suicide 5 days after the knock so I can empathise to a degree
There are no rules when it comes to dealing with either - the grief for your loved one, and your grief for what has been lost.
One day at a time is the only advice I can give - be kind to yourself. It's ok to to angry, to be sad, to be confused.
When you are ready, reach out to the helpline - they are there to listen as well as to advise and support.
You have my love xx
My OH attempted suicide 5 days after the knock so I can empathise to a degree
There are no rules when it comes to dealing with either - the grief for your loved one, and your grief for what has been lost.
One day at a time is the only advice I can give - be kind to yourself. It's ok to to angry, to be sad, to be confused.
When you are ready, reach out to the helpline - they are there to listen as well as to advise and support.
You have my love xx
I don't know what to say ...,I'm so very sorry to hear what you are going through.
I expect you will go through a whole range of emotions and all are valid.
Allow yourself to grieve, whatever his offence, he was still your person and you will need to grieve for the love and the future you have lost.
I hope you have support, be kind to yourself and do contact the LFF helpline.
Your situation is outside my experience, but I have had dark times and want to reassure you that you will come through this, it takes time.
Sending you a hug and much love at this difficult time xxxx
I expect you will go through a whole range of emotions and all are valid.
Allow yourself to grieve, whatever his offence, he was still your person and you will need to grieve for the love and the future you have lost.
I hope you have support, be kind to yourself and do contact the LFF helpline.
Your situation is outside my experience, but I have had dark times and want to reassure you that you will come through this, it takes time.
Sending you a hug and much love at this difficult time xxxx
Florence I'm so sorry
you are entitled to grieve for both....
I never understood why people accused of this would go down that route, but now I'm actually walking in the shoes of many here, I can completely understand, guilty or not it is a hard time especially for the accused who are most often already vulnerable and at a real low point in their life.
take time, feel your feelings. And we're here for you. I'm so sorry.
you are entitled to grieve for both....
I never understood why people accused of this would go down that route, but now I'm actually walking in the shoes of many here, I can completely understand, guilty or not it is a hard time especially for the accused who are most often already vulnerable and at a real low point in their life.
take time, feel your feelings. And we're here for you. I'm so sorry.
Florence - my heart truly breaks for you. A devastating position to be in, please please keep reaching out to us. We are here for you.
I think we'd all agree on the forum that the threat of this happening to the people we love so much (despite what they may or may not have done) is always lurking in the back of our minds, no matter what point in the journey we are at.
As HoldingTheGrenade says these are vulnerable people who have lost their way. People who actually needed help but society have failed.
Take care of yourself in the coming days and weeks - we are here for you no matter what. This is a place you can come to anytime for love, friendship, warmth and understanding.
xxx
I think we'd all agree on the forum that the threat of this happening to the people we love so much (despite what they may or may not have done) is always lurking in the back of our minds, no matter what point in the journey we are at.
As HoldingTheGrenade says these are vulnerable people who have lost their way. People who actually needed help but society have failed.
Take care of yourself in the coming days and weeks - we are here for you no matter what. This is a place you can come to anytime for love, friendship, warmth and understanding.
xxx
Oh Florence, I'm so sorry. I hope you have support around you.
My only advice is to do whatever you need to do to get through, especially in these early days.
Your feelings will probably fluctuate - let them. Just let them be.
Eat something, if you can. Try and remember to drink something. It's so easy to forget when you're in shock.
We are all here, and there are some very wise, caring women here who often seem to know exactly what to say
I'm just so sorry. You and your children are in my thoughts.
Look after yourself x x
My only advice is to do whatever you need to do to get through, especially in these early days.
Your feelings will probably fluctuate - let them. Just let them be.
Eat something, if you can. Try and remember to drink something. It's so easy to forget when you're in shock.
We are all here, and there are some very wise, caring women here who often seem to know exactly what to say
I'm just so sorry. You and your children are in my thoughts.
Look after yourself x x
I am so saddened to read this.
My thoughts are with you during this extremely difficult time.
Xx
My thoughts are with you during this extremely difficult time.
Xx
Florence, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Please take care of yourself and continue posting here for support.
So sorry for you I couldn't read the post and not send my condolences
I hope your able to find some support through all this and take care of yourself too
I hope your able to find some support through all this and take care of yourself too
Thank you. He admitted it, that's not even the worse part of what he admitted. He actually discussed wanting to harm one of our children, which is what's causing me a lot of trauma. I can't even use the explanation he temporarily lost his mind because he told the police he had always felt this way. It's just like layers of a rotten onion. I was living a fairy tale just over a week ago and now it's everyone's worst nightmare.
Oh Florence,
Just massive massive hugs to you.
I've often thought we crash from our content happy bubble to unravelling the layers of rotten betrayal, in the dark, ashamed at every feeling.
I'm so sorry, your heart must be so heavy. We are in your corner. I still deeply care whilst being bitterly disappointed.
Ashes x
Just massive massive hugs to you.
I've often thought we crash from our content happy bubble to unravelling the layers of rotten betrayal, in the dark, ashamed at every feeling.
I'm so sorry, your heart must be so heavy. We are in your corner. I still deeply care whilst being bitterly disappointed.
Ashes x