Feel like a failure
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How do I move on with knowing what my son did. He's on prison. What do u do with his stuff.. I feel like I have done something wrong. I feel so ashamed. I am grieving for my son.
I couldn't scroll by without stopping.
I don't know what your son's or your situation is but I can say it takes time. Time to process what has happened, time to come to terms
Reach out to the helpline - they are there to support and advise us all on this awful journey.
Try posting in the Discussion thread as that seems to be the one most read. There are plenty of mums on here who are in, or have been in your situation.
Xx
I don't know what your son's or your situation is but I can say it takes time. Time to process what has happened, time to come to terms
Reach out to the helpline - they are there to support and advise us all on this awful journey.
Try posting in the Discussion thread as that seems to be the one most read. There are plenty of mums on here who are in, or have been in your situation.
Xx
Hi Sleepyhead,
I am also the mum of an offender. I too have struggled with thoughts of wondering if I was somehow at fault.
My son say's he has a porn addiction that started in his teenage years. I look back at that time (early to mid 2000s) and agonise that I had not paid more attention to the time he spent in his room, on his computer.
I am from a generation before computers existed. At the time I had no computer skills, I barely knew how to send an email.
As Mums we did our best but, like me you probably had no idea of the dangers the internet held ..... I'm pretty sure there were no warnings published back then - if I had ever heard of parental controls (I don't think I had) - I wouldn't have known how to install them.
Please remember you did your best and wherever your son has taken a wrong turn, it is not your fault.
Wether or not you decide to keep contact with your son is your decision alone. Feelings change over time, so maybe you should consider packing up your son's belongings and store them somewhere - loft space or garage etc so that you are not faced with them. Later he might want to collect them or you might decide to maintain contact.
Please take care of yourself and keep in touch with this group, there are many kind a knowledgeable folk on here to offer support.
Posts on the Discussion thread tend to be responded to more, not everyone looks under the other headings.
I am also the mum of an offender. I too have struggled with thoughts of wondering if I was somehow at fault.
My son say's he has a porn addiction that started in his teenage years. I look back at that time (early to mid 2000s) and agonise that I had not paid more attention to the time he spent in his room, on his computer.
I am from a generation before computers existed. At the time I had no computer skills, I barely knew how to send an email.
As Mums we did our best but, like me you probably had no idea of the dangers the internet held ..... I'm pretty sure there were no warnings published back then - if I had ever heard of parental controls (I don't think I had) - I wouldn't have known how to install them.
Please remember you did your best and wherever your son has taken a wrong turn, it is not your fault.
Wether or not you decide to keep contact with your son is your decision alone. Feelings change over time, so maybe you should consider packing up your son's belongings and store them somewhere - loft space or garage etc so that you are not faced with them. Later he might want to collect them or you might decide to maintain contact.
Please take care of yourself and keep in touch with this group, there are many kind a knowledgeable folk on here to offer support.
Posts on the Discussion thread tend to be responded to more, not everyone looks under the other headings.
I'm a mum, my son has suffered severe consequences to his crimes but I secretly have stood by him. Yes I have guilt feelings of my deceit but I'm not ashamed of the love I have for him. No one will change that I'm afraid.
You have not done a dot wrong my lovely, he made the decision to do what he did for whatever reason at that time.
Whatever makes you sleep comfortably and at peace - you must strive to do. Others may push and pull you with their take on the situation- but you have to think of your life and needs too.
any time you want to send a private message I'm here xxxx
You have not done a dot wrong my lovely, he made the decision to do what he did for whatever reason at that time.
Whatever makes you sleep comfortably and at peace - you must strive to do. Others may push and pull you with their take on the situation- but you have to think of your life and needs too.
any time you want to send a private message I'm here xxxx
Hi
I too have a son in prison. Growing up with Cerebral Palsy,dyslexia & speech difficulties,he had a lot going against him. We did everything we could for him,but we could not create friendships or social networks. Being, a close family,his isolation was not really apparent until his sister went to university.
They make their own decisions & we cannot be responsible for that.
We still love him & will support him when he leaves prison,but we cannot have him living with us. A horrible decision lies ahead for us.
I hope you resolve your feelings.
Please contact the helpline for support. They are wonderful.
Pm me if you want to .
Best wishes
I too have a son in prison. Growing up with Cerebral Palsy,dyslexia & speech difficulties,he had a lot going against him. We did everything we could for him,but we could not create friendships or social networks. Being, a close family,his isolation was not really apparent until his sister went to university.
They make their own decisions & we cannot be responsible for that.
We still love him & will support him when he leaves prison,but we cannot have him living with us. A horrible decision lies ahead for us.
I hope you resolve your feelings.
Please contact the helpline for support. They are wonderful.
Pm me if you want to .
Best wishes