how to deal with ss
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Bit of backstory, we are just short of 6 weeks from the knock and just short of 4 weeks from when the social worker came to see me.
I assume she is assesing risk only for my 16 year old as baby is yet to he born. She asked usual questions, where he attends school, his Gp my midwife. What I know of the investigation. Where OH is living now. How I feel about the investigation. OH is not my sons biological dad.
After she left I sent her a txt message as i forgot to mention sons medical condition, probably the most important for her to contact as they have a team of 6 including a psychologist who see him quarterly. When she left she said she would come back with safety leaflets for a chat the next week.
4 weeks on with absolutely no contact she has called me asking what his condition was as she forgot what I said on the phone, I didn't want to correct her and make he feel stupid but I'd put it in writing as I knew it was important. She admitted she hadn't finished her assesment and was worried that her manager wouldn't be happy if she left that out. Then again said she would pop out to see me next week.
I just feel she's rather incompetent. Her lack of following up where she said she would means I am no closer to sorting any supervised contact for after baby is born. I know in reality that's not what they want but it's obviously caused me some distress and subsequently a referal to mental health services. I'm so worried about how ill cope emotionally after baby is born.
Is there anything I can do to make sure I'm not just left with the unknown for weeks on end?
are there time frames for initial or subsequent assessments?
I assume she is assesing risk only for my 16 year old as baby is yet to he born. She asked usual questions, where he attends school, his Gp my midwife. What I know of the investigation. Where OH is living now. How I feel about the investigation. OH is not my sons biological dad.
After she left I sent her a txt message as i forgot to mention sons medical condition, probably the most important for her to contact as they have a team of 6 including a psychologist who see him quarterly. When she left she said she would come back with safety leaflets for a chat the next week.
4 weeks on with absolutely no contact she has called me asking what his condition was as she forgot what I said on the phone, I didn't want to correct her and make he feel stupid but I'd put it in writing as I knew it was important. She admitted she hadn't finished her assesment and was worried that her manager wouldn't be happy if she left that out. Then again said she would pop out to see me next week.
I just feel she's rather incompetent. Her lack of following up where she said she would means I am no closer to sorting any supervised contact for after baby is born. I know in reality that's not what they want but it's obviously caused me some distress and subsequently a referal to mental health services. I'm so worried about how ill cope emotionally after baby is born.
Is there anything I can do to make sure I'm not just left with the unknown for weeks on end?
are there time frames for initial or subsequent assessments?
I'd highly recommend talking to your midwife they're pretty good at making plans, I know my midwife has helped put some pressure on my social worker to make sure things are done too! ... secondly maybe try just texting or ringing once a week or so and ask for an update and just keep on at her. Just explain you'd like to know what's happening so you can put things in place to ease your mind.
I am in a pretty shitty situation with social services myself but that would be my suggestion for now.
I am in a pretty shitty situation with social services myself but that would be my suggestion for now.
Hi,
from memory the initial assessment should be completed within 45 days of receiving the referral. This will be to determine whether your children need to be placed on any kind of plan. It will be for both children if you've expressed that you'd like them to have contact. My older children didn't want contact so were never included in a safety plan although they did speak to the sw once to just make sure they were ok and aware of the situation.
If you have an email address you could send an email saying something along the lines of; just following up from our conversation (date), do you require any further information in order to complete your assessment. I'm keen to have a plan put in place for the birth of my baby and subsequent contact with their father.
You could include a safety plan proposal, for baby I'd keep it simple as with newborns supervision mitigates most risk. I have included things I'll do as our daughter gets older like how I teach body autonomy and privacy, pants work etc.
I hope this helps. Try not to fret, you're an experienced mother who understands risks and how best to manage them xxx
from memory the initial assessment should be completed within 45 days of receiving the referral. This will be to determine whether your children need to be placed on any kind of plan. It will be for both children if you've expressed that you'd like them to have contact. My older children didn't want contact so were never included in a safety plan although they did speak to the sw once to just make sure they were ok and aware of the situation.
If you have an email address you could send an email saying something along the lines of; just following up from our conversation (date), do you require any further information in order to complete your assessment. I'm keen to have a plan put in place for the birth of my baby and subsequent contact with their father.
You could include a safety plan proposal, for baby I'd keep it simple as with newborns supervision mitigates most risk. I have included things I'll do as our daughter gets older like how I teach body autonomy and privacy, pants work etc.
I hope this helps. Try not to fret, you're an experienced mother who understands risks and how best to manage them xxx
That makes a lot of sense. Her phone call was exactly 45 days from the police referral. Doesn't fill me with much hope with any timescales she gives me for when she says she will call out to see us.
I'm not holding out any hope for OH to be present at the birth at this point with only 7 days until my due date. Will be booking in an induction for sometime in the next 10 days tomorrow.
Baring in mind I made it very clear my feelings on contact and being as safely involved as he could be it's really upsetting that I could give birth any day and not even feel as though he could be given a photograph of his child. Then there's the possibility that she will want to come talk to me when baby is only days old, as much as us making some progress agreeing what can happen would be nice, I'm not putting myself in that situation.
As much as I do have support, I don't have anyone that can be here supporting me day to day with a newborn so I know things are going to be already strained for me. My referral to perinatal mental health was pushed over to primary mental health, they gave me a timescale of a years wait on counselling so that's not going to be any help.
Breaks my heart knowing i cant give my baby the best start in life.
I'm not holding out any hope for OH to be present at the birth at this point with only 7 days until my due date. Will be booking in an induction for sometime in the next 10 days tomorrow.
Baring in mind I made it very clear my feelings on contact and being as safely involved as he could be it's really upsetting that I could give birth any day and not even feel as though he could be given a photograph of his child. Then there's the possibility that she will want to come talk to me when baby is only days old, as much as us making some progress agreeing what can happen would be nice, I'm not putting myself in that situation.
As much as I do have support, I don't have anyone that can be here supporting me day to day with a newborn so I know things are going to be already strained for me. My referral to perinatal mental health was pushed over to primary mental health, they gave me a timescale of a years wait on counselling so that's not going to be any help.
Breaks my heart knowing i cant give my baby the best start in life.