Ex still making life difficult
Notifications OFF
It has been two years since the knock for me. I knew I couldn't stay married to my husband but have tried to remain cordial for the sake of my son. My ex continues to behave so badly, trying to control me and not agree to our divorce settlement. I see many on here say they don't believe their husbands are bad people but my ex is so awful to me and shows no real remorse for their actions. In the past he has shared sexual images of me on forums and I found out he was unfaithful to me too. Has anyone else found that a whole lot of skeletons came out the closet? And that they question who on earth they were married to? I can't believe that two years on from the knock he won't let me move on
I Completely feel your pain!
Since the knock my ex continues to try control me, every time I ask for things it takes weeks, I have to always follow up with reminders, payments are regularly late and need chasing.
Then there is the things he is telling those around him... Apparently I was aware of his behaviour because I once found an fancy dress babysuit and insinuating I was aware and ok with it! That I was been difficult with the child care arrangements (insisting on neutral party supervising as I don't trust any else), that I am erasing dad from child's life and worse!
He has said zero about his investigation and it's only because I have an amazing oic I am aware of the extent of what they found (and the extent of what they found but can't charge as he deleted things and used dark Web). I've had to take tough decisions around our children, long term housing, finances etc with limited info and information he continues to withhold.
I'm refusing to 'rise' to his behaviours and since he's started this towards out child - constant false promises and heart breaking not even sending them a birthday card/gift.
I am attempting to sort finances and really have had to write off almost 20-30k in pension he owes me because I know full well how long he will attempt to drag it out and continue to dangle this to keep in touch. I have no funds for solicitors and no entitlement to legal aid.
I've had to really be strict on any sort of replies to ex to keep everything neutral despite his best efforts - I see it as a desperate attempt to regain control
It's only when I look back I realised how he had been so manipulative and controlling throughout our relationship. It was a shock now I look back how manipulative and plain selfish he has been throughout but I was so in love/groomed I just thought it was the norm!
It's so hard but try keep all emotion out of responses, get everything in writing as keep a log of contact, promises etc. Hopefully he won't behave like that with your child. Unfortunately mine did when I look back ???? used to give child silent treatment until I was 'intimate' with him and worse.
I'm so so sorry, he will probably continue to play games hoping for some control if he is anything like mine.
Happy to chat as its a lonely place x
Since the knock my ex continues to try control me, every time I ask for things it takes weeks, I have to always follow up with reminders, payments are regularly late and need chasing.
Then there is the things he is telling those around him... Apparently I was aware of his behaviour because I once found an fancy dress babysuit and insinuating I was aware and ok with it! That I was been difficult with the child care arrangements (insisting on neutral party supervising as I don't trust any else), that I am erasing dad from child's life and worse!
He has said zero about his investigation and it's only because I have an amazing oic I am aware of the extent of what they found (and the extent of what they found but can't charge as he deleted things and used dark Web). I've had to take tough decisions around our children, long term housing, finances etc with limited info and information he continues to withhold.
I'm refusing to 'rise' to his behaviours and since he's started this towards out child - constant false promises and heart breaking not even sending them a birthday card/gift.
I am attempting to sort finances and really have had to write off almost 20-30k in pension he owes me because I know full well how long he will attempt to drag it out and continue to dangle this to keep in touch. I have no funds for solicitors and no entitlement to legal aid.
I've had to really be strict on any sort of replies to ex to keep everything neutral despite his best efforts - I see it as a desperate attempt to regain control
It's only when I look back I realised how he had been so manipulative and controlling throughout our relationship. It was a shock now I look back how manipulative and plain selfish he has been throughout but I was so in love/groomed I just thought it was the norm!
It's so hard but try keep all emotion out of responses, get everything in writing as keep a log of contact, promises etc. Hopefully he won't behave like that with your child. Unfortunately mine did when I look back ???? used to give child silent treatment until I was 'intimate' with him and worse.
I'm so so sorry, he will probably continue to play games hoping for some control if he is anything like mine.
Happy to chat as its a lonely place x
But once you realise how it is all about his taking control, you can refuse to fuel his 'need' for power. Make back what you can control
I've found some great Facebook pages with random daily empowering posts about narcissistic people and it reminds me it is NOT our fault and it's all down to their bad behaviour. I find these boost me on m down days.(unbreakable and uplifting is one)
Hopefully once They realise we no longer play their games they will move on! (leaving behind so much destruction!)
I've found some great Facebook pages with random daily empowering posts about narcissistic people and it reminds me it is NOT our fault and it's all down to their bad behaviour. I find these boost me on m down days.(unbreakable and uplifting is one)
Hopefully once They realise we no longer play their games they will move on! (leaving behind so much destruction!)