Family and Friends Forum

it is totally heartbreaking and of course you have every right to question what is right for you and your family.

I've not been in your position but myself and OH have 2 grandsons(his biological) the eldest has always spent a lot of time with us, he's just so adorable. OH is currently not able to live at home due to not being allowed contact with under 18's, I have a 16 year old and I'm due our only child together in a weeks time. I'm able to visit the grandchildren but I'm struggling to look after them alone and I feel so awful for the eldest boy.

I certainly do want OH to have contact with baby right now but at the same time I worry. I know I can mitigate risks but is it fair for a child being brought into such a situation that very realistically could be life long.

I think at some point from a grandparents point, you could allow supervised contact without it negatively affecting the children and you could feel they're safe. Ss will want risk assessments carried out and its likely they wouldn't be considering unsupervised.

Don't rush yourself to need to make any decisions, it's such early days. I've only been in this group(that noone wants to be in) 7 weeks myself and its still got me in such a spin x

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Hi, this will probably depend on any restrictions put on him eventually by the courts and social services. However, this is my story. When my now ex was arrested, remanded and eventually sent to prison for the same crime as your father, my children were aged 12 and 14. They adored their Dad but were prevented from having any contact whatsoever with him. No visits, no calls, no letters. Nothing. This was devastating for them especially because when I visited him in prison, they were always loads of very young children there visiting other prisoners. Some would be literally sat next to us for 90 minutes. But not our children. This is my opinion but the fact they weren't allowed any sort of relationship with him for years was every bit as harmful as the original issue, and I despise SS's because of that. The Police found that none of the images my ex downloaded etc were of local children and all were taken from the internet. He hadn't contact offended but even so, my children suffered terribly. I'm so sorry you find yourself here. Also, I know what he's done is terrible but there's probably a reason and it's "only" one part of him. He's still the granddad adored by your children. I wish you all the very best. X