Horror
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I try my best not to reflect, but lay in bed last night remembering all the horror we have been through as a family. The sheer devastation of finding out my sons secret life, a secret happening in our home.
The anger I felt for him mixed in with sadness, the loss of / our family a huge sturdy tree now rocked to the ground with all roots exposed. How the police marched through our home we sat there shaking with fright/not understanding what was going on. Him being took away and crying thinking of him being questioned and being labelled as a sicko P, how could my boy commit the most hated crime on the planet. My son was no monster, I faced a frightened lamb - how I missed that irritating sound of his laughter. I was heartbroken......
But now another day breaks, yes life isn't perfect and the future is uncertain but as a family we cemented those cracks, it's a fragile mend but we share fun and laughter now and a tenuous'trust'. I'm just so so proud how we moved on after such a traumatic time.
i just wanted to get across to you all - it can be done. You may not feel it now but life spins round and rebuilds/reshapes, it really is not the end, I promise xxxxxx
The anger I felt for him mixed in with sadness, the loss of / our family a huge sturdy tree now rocked to the ground with all roots exposed. How the police marched through our home we sat there shaking with fright/not understanding what was going on. Him being took away and crying thinking of him being questioned and being labelled as a sicko P, how could my boy commit the most hated crime on the planet. My son was no monster, I faced a frightened lamb - how I missed that irritating sound of his laughter. I was heartbroken......
But now another day breaks, yes life isn't perfect and the future is uncertain but as a family we cemented those cracks, it's a fragile mend but we share fun and laughter now and a tenuous'trust'. I'm just so so proud how we moved on after such a traumatic time.
i just wanted to get across to you all - it can be done. You may not feel it now but life spins round and rebuilds/reshapes, it really is not the end, I promise xxxxxx
Thankyou Smile
Its nice to hear you have found some hope and happiness in this awful situation.
I am too far away from that ever being a possibility at the moment. I am grieving for the loss of the son I thought I knew and it is so hard. I am only four months in and still struggling.
Its nice to hear you have found some hope and happiness in this awful situation.
I am too far away from that ever being a possibility at the moment. I am grieving for the loss of the son I thought I knew and it is so hard. I am only four months in and still struggling.
Thank you for this post, I think you're right in that you find a new normal. Life will never be the same again and you grieve for the life before you knew don't you. But we can move forward and rebuild a new normal, well I pray we can too xx
Having just visited my son in a new prison,you give me hope.
He is on a mixed wing & his crimes are now known.
We can only hope that he will be safe & get the opportunity to learn from any programme they offer him.
It breaks my heart when he tells me he has always had to fend off bullies.
He is on a mixed wing & his crimes are now known.
We can only hope that he will be safe & get the opportunity to learn from any programme they offer him.
It breaks my heart when he tells me he has always had to fend off bullies.
EBP why has he had to move to a mixed wing and why is his crime known? How did that get out? That's so bad. Hope he's okay x
Smile, like yourself it is hard not to reflect especially as in our case this week we have had our 6 monthly police visit. We have just had a new baby grandson born last week and after the high's of celebrating his birth came the police visit followed by being informed they would have to contact SS (our son lives over 200 miles away), The whole experience of events following the knock, plea hearing, sentencing, press and dealing with x 2 sets of SS all reared their ugly heads again. For the past 2 mornings I have woken up with that stomach churning feeling going over past and present events. But, on the other hand we have so much gratitude that we have the amazing son and daughter-in-law who we thought would flip when there was a chance SS would impose themselves again only to be told by them both for us not to worry, they will engage with SS in a polite and courteous manner as opposed to their last interactions when things got very fraught. We have moved on alot from the initial trauma 4 years ago, yes we have lost some family and my husband lost the majority of his friends but we are lucky to have our own close family unit, my friends and their partners who have extended the hand of friendship to my husband. We don't talk to neighbours, we get a few waves from them in passing but I see that as an advantage as I hate to engage in gossip anyway. My husband is busy continuing his voluntary work with the Probation Service which he thoroughly enjoys and we now go out for meals etc without the dread of who we might bump into. I get triggered easily when dealing with other issues like insurance etc, I do feel that we have a daily reminder, it's almost like a pilot light ticking away in my head just waiting to be lit! But overall things have changed and we have adapted to the new norm, the reminders will be forever present but in time I pray they will fade. For anyone at the start of this horrendous journey please be assured a new norm can be a happy norm too, yes we grieve for what we wanted and planned for but our lives take a new turn and it can be okay.
Smile, thank you for posting this, I'm sure lots of us do ruminate even though we are not supposed to but it is important to let people know things can get better.
Best wishes to everyone
Katie xxxx
Smile, thank you for posting this, I'm sure lots of us do ruminate even though we are not supposed to but it is important to let people know things can get better.
Best wishes to everyone
Katie xxxx