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Hard before Christmas - need support please

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Ce-ce

Member since
August 2019

28 posts

Posted Sun December 22, 2019 9:23pmReport post

Hi all, we are 5 months post knock. Separated (him living in separate flat to significant detriment to our already stretched finances) and closed case for social services because of that. We would like to reunite as a family at some point if possible. Don't even know how to approach SS about that. Seems impossible to me at this point but he thinks it will just happen! He was arrested for a singular communication offence with an undercover officer. I am hoping the exam of devices shows it was a one off. All the reasons under the sun have been given for his actions. I don't know what to believe. He has been through some therapy which seemed to help. I feel I'm about to crumble. I work with kids so my employers know. My ex knows. Everyone keeps asking questions and I feel like my life is not my own anymore - like I have to justify to anyone and everyone. A few days before Xmas and I'm losing it. Keep going for the kids but this is torture.

Tabs

Member since
November 2019

501 posts

Posted Mon December 23, 2019 7:00amReport post

Hi Ce-ce. So sorry to read your post. I don't have children but am in a similar position with home living separately, having lost his job. I had retired early to provide support to him in his stressful job. I will have to find some work again soon. It must be so very hard to keep going for the children.
I too am finding it so hard at the moment. Christmas used to be such a joy. Now it is painful. The living in limbo is, as you say, torture. It's the not knowing, not being able to plan any sort of future unless you walk away from your partner, but if it is a proper addiction problem, a sickness, that wouldn't sit right with me. But there is no right or wrong way forward here, as I'm being told.
Just want to say you're not alone. Keep on going, be strong. x

Ce-ce

Member since
August 2019

28 posts

Posted Mon December 23, 2019 9:34amReport post

Thank you Tabs - on and upwards to another day x keep strong and wish everyone on here as peaceful a Christmas as they can find x

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Mon December 23, 2019 10:32pmReport post

Hi CeCe

I found it really hard in the early days because it's all I seemed to talk about with everyone and just rehashed it all the while, I know people were well meaning but bloody hell it was hard. Having said that I couldn't concentrate on any other subject!!

Don't be so hard on yourself, this is one of the worse, hardest things you will ever have to go through but you will get through it and one day in the future you'll look back and feel proud of yourself

Xx

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Mon December 23, 2019 10:32pmReport post

Hi CeCe

I found it really hard in the early days because it's all I seemed to talk about with everyone and just rehashed it all the while, I know people were well meaning but bloody hell it was hard. Having said that I couldn't concentrate on any other subject!!

Don't be so hard on yourself, this is one of the worse, hardest things you will ever have to go through but you will get through it and one day in the future you'll look back and feel proud of yourself

Xx