Family and Friends Forum

Are you on any sort of plan with ss? Did sw give a reason why you should cancel? If your OH isn't even there then I don't see what the issue is xxx

From experience it's probably not worth mentioning to probation until he builds up an idea of what they're like. My partner has nothing on his SHPO but probation tried to impose the no contact unless approved by probation and ss and said he couldn't go to family parties or weddings etc.

I would be annoyed if my child spent time with someone on sor without me around to supervise but the fact he doesn't live there and won't be there eliminates any need for disclosure xxx

Do not tell anyone unless you absolutely have to. Especially until you find out details of what is/isn't allowed. It'll depend on conditions and what involvement SS have, a CIN is "voluntary" although if you go against their advice they can dig heels in and escalate. CPP or conditions in SHPO may dictate you have to do what they say, but I'd prefer to cancel sleepover rather than tell people and rearrange at later date if it's allowed. It's so unfair for the poor kids in the families of offenders; I understand they need to be protected but they need to have a normal childhood too or they're really going to suffer mentally. Especially at that age where sleepovers and fitting in is everything. They shouldn't lose any possible opportunity for joy and fun because of what someone else has done.

This is kind of a grey area, because although the police and social services cannot usually stop someone from going somewhere or doing something, without a court order, they do still have powers of disclosure, provided they can identify a potential risk.

It is the threat of disclosure that they use to coerce people and it is not a good idea to go against their wishes, because they will use that power if they think it is necessary.

It's dreadful that official professionals can be so coercive and unfair in their behaviour towards us and our people. It just makes me furious as it's only because they have no fear that anyone wil complain due to the stigma of our situations and that is so UNprofessional.

But he doesnt even live there

lifeisover - and that makes it even more like bullying behaviour.

Hi

My youngest son has not been allowed anyone round to the house since he was 12. He's at the age where his friends and he are now turning 18 but I think he's got so used to not being allowed anyone round ever, he hasn't invited any of them. We had to disclose for them to be allowed round which means social services would contact them, and check they knew full details. Not worth the risk.



However, in our circumstances it is his older brother who has the shpo, since he was 16 and lived at home. There are no contact restrictions but this also meant he was not allowed any friends without disclosure. So he has no friends.

However, as your partner has signed on, I'm presuming that's an address he has registered as part of the notification requirements so as I understand it; they have the power of disclosure.