What do I do?
Notifications OFF
Hi,
I'm here after a call from the police yesterday evening. They asked me who is at home, ask me my partner's name, and then ask me to leave the kids to go to the station with my ID and the ID of all my children for a, what they called, awkward conversation. Now my mind ran wild as I had no idea what it's about. I get there and they tell me that they want to give me a disclosure. They tell me that my partner was given a 2 year conditional warning in 2017 for a online conversation with a teen where he sent a picture of him exposing himself. They have told me that social services will be involved if I stay with him. On one hand I'm horrified, but on the other, after talking to him, I can't say I understand but at the time he was an alcoholic with untreated mental health issues and says he is disgusted by what he did and has worked so hard to be a different person (has been sober for 6 years, had psych input, is medicated, does not visit online chat rooms fullstop)
We've been together for over 3.5 years, lived together for 2.5 with 6 children between us. He was having his girls unsupervised prior to us meeting. The police only said they told me as my daughter went missing whilst I was in hospital and he was their point of contact and it flagged up on their system. I feel so conflicted because I don't want my children at risk, I don't want social services involved, and one part of me is like, absolutely not staying with him but also, he is no different today than he's been any of the other days I've known him. There's been no concerns, my children love him, even the teenagers, we share a computer. If the police were so worried, why did they ask me to leave my kids with him?
Sorry to ramble, I'm so confused and conflicted right now. Thank you
I'm here after a call from the police yesterday evening. They asked me who is at home, ask me my partner's name, and then ask me to leave the kids to go to the station with my ID and the ID of all my children for a, what they called, awkward conversation. Now my mind ran wild as I had no idea what it's about. I get there and they tell me that they want to give me a disclosure. They tell me that my partner was given a 2 year conditional warning in 2017 for a online conversation with a teen where he sent a picture of him exposing himself. They have told me that social services will be involved if I stay with him. On one hand I'm horrified, but on the other, after talking to him, I can't say I understand but at the time he was an alcoholic with untreated mental health issues and says he is disgusted by what he did and has worked so hard to be a different person (has been sober for 6 years, had psych input, is medicated, does not visit online chat rooms fullstop)
We've been together for over 3.5 years, lived together for 2.5 with 6 children between us. He was having his girls unsupervised prior to us meeting. The police only said they told me as my daughter went missing whilst I was in hospital and he was their point of contact and it flagged up on their system. I feel so conflicted because I don't want my children at risk, I don't want social services involved, and one part of me is like, absolutely not staying with him but also, he is no different today than he's been any of the other days I've known him. There's been no concerns, my children love him, even the teenagers, we share a computer. If the police were so worried, why did they ask me to leave my kids with him?
Sorry to ramble, I'm so confused and conflicted right now. Thank you
I'm hugely conflicted on your post. I feel that he should have told you about his past once the relationship progressed and absolutely before he moved in with you and your children.
However, knowing how hard that conversation of disclosure has been for jobs for my partner I can only imagine how much worse it would be to disclose to someone you are building a relationship with.
Since he received a caution with no sopo or shpo (I can't remember when the name changed sorry) then in my mind he must be considered low risk. Ss will likely not see him as such because he didn't disclose to you and allow you to make informed informed decisions xxx
However, knowing how hard that conversation of disclosure has been for jobs for my partner I can only imagine how much worse it would be to disclose to someone you are building a relationship with.
Since he received a caution with no sopo or shpo (I can't remember when the name changed sorry) then in my mind he must be considered low risk. Ss will likely not see him as such because he didn't disclose to you and allow you to make informed informed decisions xxx
I'm sorry that this has happened to you, it's an absolutely awful thing to find out. I found out about my partners previous conviction after being together for 15 years when the police disclosed it to my sister after his arrest in December.
He's explained to me the reasons for not telling me and I honestly understand them and have had to admit that I'm not sure I could of told him if the roles were reversed. Of course it now explains alot of things which I thought were slightly odd particularly early on in our relationship but which I never gave a lot of thought too.
He's explained to me the reasons for not telling me and I honestly understand them and have had to admit that I'm not sure I could of told him if the roles were reversed. Of course it now explains alot of things which I thought were slightly odd particularly early on in our relationship but which I never gave a lot of thought too.