Family and Friends Forum

So sorry. That's absolutely ridiculous.

I'm so sorry, that's absolutely awful xx

Shocking they just don't give a shit about the offenders family's x

I'm so sorry please try not to upset yourself. It's only three weeks and hopefully both three weeks will pass smoothly for you xx

This happened to my partner.. set ended after 5 years on bail with no conditions after changing dates so many times.

I really feel for you.

My ex was also adjourned until April! It's the second time has been adjourned now and I am sick of it hanging over us. Each time I get so wound up ready and now we have 2 months of waiting yet again! It's a terrible system at times!

My local law courts where I volunteer supporting witnesses, are telling people who turn up on the day and their case doesn't get heard, that next available dates will be after September. Part of the problem is that far too many cases are being given the same date when it's obvious they won't all get heard then yesterday when I had to talk to a court usher she told me that most of her team had been laid off and if you stayed in the job you had to agree to looking after more than 1 court at a time. That is almost impossible as it means the usher being in 2 places at the same time so causing even more delays..... not all places will be as bad as this i hope, but it does seemto be a huge problem. We almost had a riot as several people who were there for traffic offences were told to go home and return at a later date and one who had had to travel from Scotland was NOT happy and called the solicitor who gave him the news a very rude word......

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We've already been adjourned once and next date is 12 March, it's horrendous. I hope and pray we don't find ourselves in the situation again. The courts seemingly can't keep pace with the numbers. The CJS, Government and CPS needs to seriously revisit the way it handles lower level offending. We have people caught up in a system that could be dealt with in a much more effective way - and yet societies demands for 'justice' - only see punishment in a court of law as the answer. Let's be honest the public are never happy with the level of punishnent anyway, you can't win!



The Government says build more prisons - I say let's do something more radical, catch up with the 21st century and where possible avoid the criminal system in favour of more affective ways to support, 'punish' and rehabilitate offenders. In our situations the punishment of being on the SOR or having an SHPO, engaging with SS are life limiting enough! No matter what proactive steps our people have taken towards rehabilitation seems all for nought if they are still churned through the court system - and then the media have their pound of flesh. What a sad, antiquated, state of affairs!
In Germany many of our people would have been placed on a 12 month confidential rehab programme, probably encompassing a psycho sexual assessment to determine their risk levels and support rehabilitation and life back in to their communities. What do us good old Brits do ....we want justice at all costs, simply write people off in our community (because it's the easiest thing for them to do) so they and their families live lives in social isolation and stigma, even though theres actually no proper understanding or context of a situation.



We're just under 4 weeks off sentencing. I'm crippled with anxiety, my immediate family all think I'm insane for sticking by my OH, we're all terrified of fall out - particularly for the kids. My SW has been great in the end - think she sees the situation for what it is now she's met me, my OH, my ex, my Dad etc. But tbh SS is the least of my worries at the minute - parents want me to tell other family members before sentencing, kids are so happy in their lives and I'm scared of the impact this might have on their relationships. However what I have learnt on this journey is that (so far) things aren't always as bad as you fear, so I continue to cling to hope. However if this gets out my OH (despite very low levels of 9 images and one conversation with adult police decoy) will definitely be homeless (his friend who he rents from has made that clear) and could well lose his job .....do the media not realise that they're actually draining society not doing it a service! The punishnent does not fit the crime!! X

You are so right the punishment definitely does not fit the crime. Career over, outcast from society. Even if you stumble over these things by accident in the midst of addiction and leave/delete immediately. It is crazy why can't the legal system see it.

I do understand the reason for coverage to encourage others to come forward - but if that was a argument then why is every outcome not published, why is it pot luck - some escape it and are able to establish a new normal and others don't and have their lives turned upside down forever. As you rightly say the hysteria is really unhelpful and that in part is the way the journalism sensationalises and cherry picks the most horrifying aspects of a case and often I think provides too much detail - rather than maybe providing a summary of the charges and sentencing outcome. The media are fully responsible for feeding the hysteria by the way it chooses to report. Using the words like 'sick' and 'abhorrent' are tools to do exactly that.



Anyway we could debate this until the cows come home, but it doesn't change whatever fate has in store for any of us. Good luck lovely, think we'll be experiencing sentencing around the same time xxx