Guilt
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Merry Christmas to you lovley strong amazing women, I hope things haven't been too difficult for you the past couple of days.
So Christmas isn't just for the kids but this year it definitely is otherwise I would have cancelled it so to speak. We stayed at home his parents came I cooked some nibbles after he said he would sort all food out, poorly baby and in-laws repeatedly say aww what's wrong with you to said baby!! All food sorted then offers of help after dumping presents in a pile saying arent they going to open them well they will if you help them find theirs and open them they are 11 months and 2 yrs old! Great gifts for the kids then the where are you going to put them all? Yes that's right it's muggings here who will have to find the space for all the toys isn't it! luckily they weren't here much past lunch time.
So we had agreed no presents to each other he had a few gifts from the kids. I had something I wanted from the children then another thoughtless gift well the first gift contained 99% of the second gift has he even thought about this?? Then the final gift from the dog! A very expensive Moblie phone that I don't want or need!! I am biting my tongue as I feel I want to let rip at him about spending so much, no thought gone into it and ignored our decision to not to presents to this year! I like to pick my own phone it is phones that have got us into this mess. Has he been shopping without me knowing as I don't trust him what he's up to! I am worried about money and the future I'm not being paid from maternity. I feel guilty if I cause a row at xmas but he clearly doesn't understand how I am feeling about a variety of things.
Feel so Teary this isn't how I thought my sons first Christmas would be!
So Christmas isn't just for the kids but this year it definitely is otherwise I would have cancelled it so to speak. We stayed at home his parents came I cooked some nibbles after he said he would sort all food out, poorly baby and in-laws repeatedly say aww what's wrong with you to said baby!! All food sorted then offers of help after dumping presents in a pile saying arent they going to open them well they will if you help them find theirs and open them they are 11 months and 2 yrs old! Great gifts for the kids then the where are you going to put them all? Yes that's right it's muggings here who will have to find the space for all the toys isn't it! luckily they weren't here much past lunch time.
So we had agreed no presents to each other he had a few gifts from the kids. I had something I wanted from the children then another thoughtless gift well the first gift contained 99% of the second gift has he even thought about this?? Then the final gift from the dog! A very expensive Moblie phone that I don't want or need!! I am biting my tongue as I feel I want to let rip at him about spending so much, no thought gone into it and ignored our decision to not to presents to this year! I like to pick my own phone it is phones that have got us into this mess. Has he been shopping without me knowing as I don't trust him what he's up to! I am worried about money and the future I'm not being paid from maternity. I feel guilty if I cause a row at xmas but he clearly doesn't understand how I am feeling about a variety of things.
Feel so Teary this isn't how I thought my sons first Christmas would be!
Gosh that sounds like a really tough emotional day for you but you can hold your head up high as you've clearly done everything possible for your kids despite a lack of help and having your hands full with a baby.
Totally understand regarding the difficulties of presents. I've spent the afternoon at the in laws with husband who isn't living with us and he brought one of my kids a mobile - fuming. She didn't need one, I can only imagine it cost a lot and I'm trying my best to not become a gadget obsessed house. Instead I had to bite my lip as she excitedly danced around the room with a mobile that has a tracker set up on it.
Well done for getting through your day. I hope you've now finding a moment to relax and do something nice for you.
Totally understand regarding the difficulties of presents. I've spent the afternoon at the in laws with husband who isn't living with us and he brought one of my kids a mobile - fuming. She didn't need one, I can only imagine it cost a lot and I'm trying my best to not become a gadget obsessed house. Instead I had to bite my lip as she excitedly danced around the room with a mobile that has a tracker set up on it.
Well done for getting through your day. I hope you've now finding a moment to relax and do something nice for you.
Oh Summer
It's a really tough time of year for people at the best of times but put our issues in it then it's almost to big to manage
Well done for keeping it all, maybe in a couple of days being it up if it's still playing on your mind but I think I'd have been surprised at getting a mobile considering the circumstances you're in
Take care xx
It's a really tough time of year for people at the best of times but put our issues in it then it's almost to big to manage
Well done for keeping it all, maybe in a couple of days being it up if it's still playing on your mind but I think I'd have been surprised at getting a mobile considering the circumstances you're in
Take care xx
Thank you sparkle and Tracey for your replies. Yes I will do what I need for the kids. He just doesn't seem to take anything in I say sometimes I think he doesn't think it's happened or just blocking it out I wish it was that easy! Xx
If it's any consolation at all I'm in exactly the same boat. He won't talk about what happened. Most information I've got from the police or the Mum involved and as I'm liaising with SS then I'm seen as the enemy by him and his family. They do not believe anything I or SS say and feel that everyone's against them. If I say can I remind you why I have to do this I get accused of effecting his mental health. So infuriating.
Christmas is a tough time of year because you're probably grieving what should/could have been. I'm holding on to the fact that the first one will be the hardest hopefully. Keep doing what you're doing and know that there are others here who understand.
Christmas is a tough time of year because you're probably grieving what should/could have been. I'm holding on to the fact that the first one will be the hardest hopefully. Keep doing what you're doing and know that there are others here who understand.