Can probation send you to court?
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Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out to ask about probation experiences. My partner was sentenced to a 2-year community order for attempted communication a few months ago. He has been doing well with probation and continuing the therapy he started after the knock. Recently, his probation officer changed, and they had a meeting about the case. During the meeting, my partner admitted to chatting with strangers online, but he doesn’t remember the specific conversations because the platform doesn’t let him reconnect with the same person and there where a lot of communications of about 1 hour with women. He says he does not have an attraction with underage specifically and that he feels terrible and disgusted about what he did.
The therapist explained to me that in situations like this, a person can get tunnel vision, focusing on sexual gratification, which doesn’t excuse the behavior but helps explain it. However, his new probation officer focused mainly on reminding him that he needs to have an explanation and he adds that he had cases where people did not collaborated with him in terms of talking and he took them to court and they end up in prison (althouhg my OH is trying to share eveything he has workedd during therapy and everything he remembers and he’s been following all conditions).
My partner is really stressed, and now he feels like he’s being forced to say things he doesn’t remember. I’m finding it hard to find info on what probation can or cannot do in this situation. Any advice or experiences would be really helpful. Thank youu
I’m reaching out to ask about probation experiences. My partner was sentenced to a 2-year community order for attempted communication a few months ago. He has been doing well with probation and continuing the therapy he started after the knock. Recently, his probation officer changed, and they had a meeting about the case. During the meeting, my partner admitted to chatting with strangers online, but he doesn’t remember the specific conversations because the platform doesn’t let him reconnect with the same person and there where a lot of communications of about 1 hour with women. He says he does not have an attraction with underage specifically and that he feels terrible and disgusted about what he did.
The therapist explained to me that in situations like this, a person can get tunnel vision, focusing on sexual gratification, which doesn’t excuse the behavior but helps explain it. However, his new probation officer focused mainly on reminding him that he needs to have an explanation and he adds that he had cases where people did not collaborated with him in terms of talking and he took them to court and they end up in prison (althouhg my OH is trying to share eveything he has workedd during therapy and everything he remembers and he’s been following all conditions).
My partner is really stressed, and now he feels like he’s being forced to say things he doesn’t remember. I’m finding it hard to find info on what probation can or cannot do in this situation. Any advice or experiences would be really helpful. Thank youu
It really depends if he has breached any of the conditions of his sentence. Those might be vaguely worded in terms of good behaviour, or they may be specific, such as restrictions on internet use.
That sounds horrific and like the probation officer is on a power trip. Has your partner been given the horizon course as part of his sentence? I'd suggest that your partner makes a complaint and states that he is completely willing to engage but cannot offer an explanation for his actions that seems to satisfy his probation officer. He could ask to change probation officers and if he doesn't have horizon as part of his sentence then he could look at funding the engage plus course with LFF to look further into his offending xxx
It's horrible. My OH is panicking every time he has an appointment with probation. He was getting better slowly but now he is scared, constantly in alert even about the intercom at home because he has flashbacks of what happened and because the officer keep reminding him he can take him to prison. He is literally falling again into depression as before the case. Rather than rehabilitating I feel he is just getting worst, isolating more and just more guilty and disgusted about himself that I am worried.
That sounds horrific and your OH probation officer sounds very much like the new one my OH has. My OH is on tenterhooks every time he meets with her in case he says something that will get him into trouble again. She has already contacted SS as she thinks he's not adhering to the conditions of supervised contact with under 18s including our nearly 17 year old daughter (though the PO thought she was 14). She also got in touch with his visor so when he went for his meeting yesterday they were also there and he felt like he had been ambushed. The old PO he had was a lot nicer and he was never on guard with her. How do you go about asking for another PO.
I'd be worried that the probation officer has picked up on a behaviour pattern that he is not admitting to. If he cannot get an understanding of his behaviour then he may need alternative help in managing the behaviour. I know all about the talking with strangers thing and its like an addiction to them that doesn't stop. Ive been promised over and over and still it didn't stop. It's so disrespectful and I'm now thinking maybe I need more self respect for myself then to put up with it anymore.