Struggling
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I'm really struggling. I know all I do is come here to moan but there's nowhere else.
I've really tried this week. I'm recovering from shingles and feeling a bit better physically, so I tried to go to the gym but I just sat in the car park crying. I just couldn't face it. I read here and I know some of you have found things get easier, and I am desperately clinging onto hope that at some point, that happens for me too, but I just feel so hopeless and desperate. I blame myself so much that deep down I'm not sure if deserve to feel any better either
I've really tried this week. I'm recovering from shingles and feeling a bit better physically, so I tried to go to the gym but I just sat in the car park crying. I just couldn't face it. I read here and I know some of you have found things get easier, and I am desperately clinging onto hope that at some point, that happens for me too, but I just feel so hopeless and desperate. I blame myself so much that deep down I'm not sure if deserve to feel any better either
Starr x
I couldn't just read your post and not reply xx
I'm sorry you have been poorly but are recovering (shingles is awful)
This journey as you know is just so incredibly hard and the emotions you are feeling is so normal
I think we all look at ourselves first for blame but there is not a thing we could have done differently to have not found ourselves here x
You may not have managed to get inside the gym today but you drove there that's a step forward, tomorrow you will get there, dry those tears, get out of the car and one step in front of the other, deep breath and just allow yourself to just do something you enjoy for yourself
We are here if you need us xxx huge hugs
I couldn't just read your post and not reply xx
I'm sorry you have been poorly but are recovering (shingles is awful)
This journey as you know is just so incredibly hard and the emotions you are feeling is so normal
I think we all look at ourselves first for blame but there is not a thing we could have done differently to have not found ourselves here x
You may not have managed to get inside the gym today but you drove there that's a step forward, tomorrow you will get there, dry those tears, get out of the car and one step in front of the other, deep breath and just allow yourself to just do something you enjoy for yourself
We are here if you need us xxx huge hugs
Hi Starr, I understand. I've been in the pits of despair for 5 years now. I saw an NHS psychiatrist yesterday. I explained how my life is and what had happened re both "knocks". I explained that because of the first knock, everyone around me left. So when I became really ill, the only person around who could help me was my ex. So he became my carer. But 3 years ago he reoffended, sentencing due soon. The psychiatrist told me to cut all ties with him and that the reason I'm so miserable is because I let him back in my life. He said I had a chance to escape the first time but I didn't take it. He literally rolled his eyes at me. I wish someone would understand. If I hadn't decided to support him when he went to prison, he wouldn't be here now and my children would be without a dad. That's not right surely? I'm just so weary of people having this very black and white opinion of all this. They have no idea. X
Robin I'm so sorry that's your experience - I'd be tempted to complain. You should be able to access support no matter what you have decided. Judging you like that is highly unprofessional and entirely unhelpful. Particularly coming from someone who presumably has never been in your shoes x
Thank you Upset..you're right, it is progress of sorts.
I've been mooing about this morning but I'm going back to the gym, maybe just for coffee but maybe to actually do some exercise. Hoping to just be able to walk through the doors x
I've been mooing about this morning but I'm going back to the gym, maybe just for coffee but maybe to actually do some exercise. Hoping to just be able to walk through the doors x
Starr, I've found getting any professional support impossible because once I divulge the issue, the shutters go up or I'm judged for having avoiding to do with him. It was the same with all my "friends". As soon as they knew I was visiting him in prison, they disappeared. And then there were the ones who said, "you must've known what he was doing". Ugh.
Hi Starr, I'm sorry to know how difficult things are for you right now. I've been in that place of hopelessness but can reassure you that there is hope and that you really won't feel this bad forever.
I'm not sure what emotional help and support you're receiving but for me getting help with my mental wellbeing was really important as I don't think I'd have been able to pull myself out of the depths of my despair alone.
Accessing help and support was also the making of my person. He isn't a bad person but he was broken. He has had therapy, completed a LFF course and is now half way through the Horizon course and says that if he hadn't gone through all he's been through he would still be the sad, broken person he was with no self love, esteem or confidence.
I guess what I'm trying to say Starr is, hang on in there, accept all the help and support you can find and gradually with tiny little steps you'll start moving forward. And on those days you can't put one step in front of the other, focus on just keeping your head above water.
I'm not sure what emotional help and support you're receiving but for me getting help with my mental wellbeing was really important as I don't think I'd have been able to pull myself out of the depths of my despair alone.
Accessing help and support was also the making of my person. He isn't a bad person but he was broken. He has had therapy, completed a LFF course and is now half way through the Horizon course and says that if he hadn't gone through all he's been through he would still be the sad, broken person he was with no self love, esteem or confidence.
I guess what I'm trying to say Starr is, hang on in there, accept all the help and support you can find and gradually with tiny little steps you'll start moving forward. And on those days you can't put one step in front of the other, focus on just keeping your head above water.