Support after the nock
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Hi everyone,
If you asked me 6 months ago, I never would've thought my life would be on the path it's currently on.
We received the nock at the door back in August by 2 police men regarding a report of some suspicious internet activity from our address. My husband knew straight away that it was him they were after and voluntary went to the station with them. At this point I had no idea at all whatxwqs going on - I was only given very limited information.
After 8 hours of hell he was released back home with the laptop but the police had kept his phone as he'd admitted to being sent 1 image via Kik which he'd then forwarded on. Along with this confession came the confession of being hooked on porn for the past 10+ years.
SSocial services visited and we were advised that the case would be closed until the phone was returned by the police as there were no concerns regarding our 3 boys.
4 no the later my husband receives a call from the police requesting to interview him. During this interview it would appear 4 other images were found on his phone. He admitted that these must be been from the same evening on Kik and the officers agreed. He was released and a few days later we were informed that the CPS has decided to not press charges and the case was closed.
A few days after this social services were back on my door step with a section 47. I spoke honestly to the lady and she also spoke very briefly to all three of our sons. I was asked to do to be to do the school runs and personal care etc myself but not much was mentioned with regards to my husband.. I know they've been in touch with their schools before the school break but I haven't heard any more from them.
Does anyone have any idea what is likely to happen next for us as a family with regards to social services?
Before all of this, my husband was the most perfext person in my life. He has admitted his problems and is now under a private councillor. I have limited the internet access and have accountability software on all devices etc but I feel I cannot move forward until the Social services side of things has been dealt with. I'm completely confused by what we should expect to happen next.
If you asked me 6 months ago, I never would've thought my life would be on the path it's currently on.
We received the nock at the door back in August by 2 police men regarding a report of some suspicious internet activity from our address. My husband knew straight away that it was him they were after and voluntary went to the station with them. At this point I had no idea at all whatxwqs going on - I was only given very limited information.
After 8 hours of hell he was released back home with the laptop but the police had kept his phone as he'd admitted to being sent 1 image via Kik which he'd then forwarded on. Along with this confession came the confession of being hooked on porn for the past 10+ years.
SSocial services visited and we were advised that the case would be closed until the phone was returned by the police as there were no concerns regarding our 3 boys.
4 no the later my husband receives a call from the police requesting to interview him. During this interview it would appear 4 other images were found on his phone. He admitted that these must be been from the same evening on Kik and the officers agreed. He was released and a few days later we were informed that the CPS has decided to not press charges and the case was closed.
A few days after this social services were back on my door step with a section 47. I spoke honestly to the lady and she also spoke very briefly to all three of our sons. I was asked to do to be to do the school runs and personal care etc myself but not much was mentioned with regards to my husband.. I know they've been in touch with their schools before the school break but I haven't heard any more from them.
Does anyone have any idea what is likely to happen next for us as a family with regards to social services?
Before all of this, my husband was the most perfext person in my life. He has admitted his problems and is now under a private councillor. I have limited the internet access and have accountability software on all devices etc but I feel I cannot move forward until the Social services side of things has been dealt with. I'm completely confused by what we should expect to happen next.
Hi Mum of 3,
I wish I had the answers to your questions. My dealings with SS we're brief because I ended the relationship. I don't understand why SS would become involved again if there is to be NFA?
I hope someone who knows more is able to answer your question soon. Hugs. P. X
I wish I had the answers to your questions. My dealings with SS we're brief because I ended the relationship. I don't understand why SS would become involved again if there is to be NFA?
I hope someone who knows more is able to answer your question soon. Hugs. P. X
From what my children's school have told me, they have to become involved because he's still received images - even though they know it from one incident which lasted all of a few minutes. If, the incident happened more than once, he'd searched for the pictures or had purposely accessed them then I think I would be kicked him straight out of the house. Atm I believe he deleted the images out of panic, deleted the app and didn't think any more of it. The arresting officer visted me on the day and told me he believed it was a genuine mistake and that he thinks it's in all of our interests for us to rebuild our lives. Unfortunately, with social services carrying out assessments I feel like our lives are on hold and I'm not aure how much longer I can carry on living with the unknown ????
It sounds a nightmare! My ex says he was sent a link too but he's still under investigation. I don't know whether he has or not. I personally don't think it's fair if it's a case of NFA. Let us know what SS are trying to achieve maybe?
Many thanks for the replies. Its so good to know there are other people out there going through the same thing, as right now it's quite isolating. I literally haven't told anyone as I want to minimise the risk of anything being leaked to the public. I'm not sure if this will go against me with SS though? I'm not sure what to do for the best any more.
I desperately want to keep things as normal for the family but I'm not sure how long I can handle the Social services side of things. I've already been put through enough stress as it is and now I feel like it's me under investigation.
Is there anything I should be looking at doing for the SS side of things? I've already had safeguarding training via my work which SS are aware of. The SW didn't really give much information she just asked that I carry out the school runs, personal care and I'm home whenever my husband is. She didn't mention if we have to stay in the same room as each other or give any kind of detail of what she wants from me. I just want this nightmare to be over with.
We're due to go abroad in 5 weeks time and I'm not even sure if SS will have a problem with that. Surely they'd want some normality to be kept for the children?
I desperately want to keep things as normal for the family but I'm not sure how long I can handle the Social services side of things. I've already been put through enough stress as it is and now I feel like it's me under investigation.
Is there anything I should be looking at doing for the SS side of things? I've already had safeguarding training via my work which SS are aware of. The SW didn't really give much information she just asked that I carry out the school runs, personal care and I'm home whenever my husband is. She didn't mention if we have to stay in the same room as each other or give any kind of detail of what she wants from me. I just want this nightmare to be over with.
We're due to go abroad in 5 weeks time and I'm not even sure if SS will have a problem with that. Surely they'd want some normality to be kept for the children?
Hi mum of three so sorry to hear you have joined this club, I am currently 6 months down the line and not really any further forward, as like you social care have closed us until the outcome of the investigation, makes you laugh really as I'm finding this a really stressful time and surely they should be supporting us as the risk is still unknown in their eyes. As lee said the ss work differently than the police police it's guilty or inocent whereas ss work on the probability of risk. Just make sure you don't play down what has happened to ss ana make sure they know the children are the most important which I know they are. I'm my case I have a 2yr old and a baby and it is a communication offence he is accused of so low risk to my children so they will look at everything, the police I believe will give ss the info they had. There are a few ladies here who are more knowledgable and have come out of the other side they maybe able to answer more questions for you.
Out of interest where abouts are you going on holiday?
please keep coming back on here the women here are a wealth of support and kindness we all know none of this was our fault but must navigate this nightmare just having this forum is making it a little easier for me knowing I'm not alone xx
Out of interest where abouts are you going on holiday?
please keep coming back on here the women here are a wealth of support and kindness we all know none of this was our fault but must navigate this nightmare just having this forum is making it a little easier for me knowing I'm not alone xx
The SW didn't mention anything about time scales of the assessment. She visited me on the 13th December and then the following week my son's school pulled me a side to inform me that they'd sent over their views etc after the SW phoned them for details. I'm not sure how long I should be expected to wait. Will I receive something in the post from them or will they suddenly turn up on my door step again?
We're due to travel to Disneyland Paris - a holiday my children have been counting down to for 2 years now so I'm desperately hoping it isn't ruined. My boys are non the wiser as to why the SW visited or spoke to them - they are taught at school about safety networks and so on so they assumed it's normal for the visit. I didn't correct them, to save confusion.
We're due to travel to Disneyland Paris - a holiday my children have been counting down to for 2 years now so I'm desperately hoping it isn't ruined. My boys are non the wiser as to why the SW visited or spoke to them - they are taught at school about safety networks and so on so they assumed it's normal for the visit. I didn't correct them, to save confusion.
No plan is in place and we've been given no details at all. She turned up on the 13th moaning how busy her job was and that seemed to continue throughout the time she was here. She was a bit all over the place tbh.
She asked me to sign a form which gave her permission to speak to the boys schools and GPS etc but made a comment that she didn't need me to sign it but I felt she was assessing my response so I signed it anyway.
Our boys are 12, 10 and 7. She spoke to them all on their own during her visit. My middle child said she asked him different questions about me and his Dad but my younger child was very much "she must be forgot to ask me about Mummy because she just asked me about Dad." My eldest is the shy one so he hasn't made any comment at all. I have a problem with her speaking to the boys unannounced as long as she doesn't go into too much detail with them as they are literally clueless to what's been going on around them. The eldest has made a few comments about why I'm always tagging along to the model workshop he used to go alone to with his Dad but I don't think any of them have put anything together. I'm hoping they're kept out of it but I suspect at some point the SW might tell them more than I'd like.
She wasn't very clear.on if my husband was allowed unsupervised contact or not so I've been avoiding leaving him alone with any of the children to cover our own backs. Its putting a bit of a strain on things and I'm not sure if I'm being too overprotective.
She asked me to sign a form which gave her permission to speak to the boys schools and GPS etc but made a comment that she didn't need me to sign it but I felt she was assessing my response so I signed it anyway.
Our boys are 12, 10 and 7. She spoke to them all on their own during her visit. My middle child said she asked him different questions about me and his Dad but my younger child was very much "she must be forgot to ask me about Mummy because she just asked me about Dad." My eldest is the shy one so he hasn't made any comment at all. I have a problem with her speaking to the boys unannounced as long as she doesn't go into too much detail with them as they are literally clueless to what's been going on around them. The eldest has made a few comments about why I'm always tagging along to the model workshop he used to go alone to with his Dad but I don't think any of them have put anything together. I'm hoping they're kept out of it but I suspect at some point the SW might tell them more than I'd like.
She wasn't very clear.on if my husband was allowed unsupervised contact or not so I've been avoiding leaving him alone with any of the children to cover our own backs. Its putting a bit of a strain on things and I'm not sure if I'm being too overprotective.
We're you put on a child in need plan straight after assessment? How long have you been on the plan for?
Sorry I've just read through my previous message. I was supposed to write "I do not have a problem with her speaking to the children without me knowing..
No she's barely given me anything to go on at all which I think is the hard part. I have no idea what the timesamcale should be or what they're expecting the outcome to be etc.
Thank you. Right now I feel like a crap parent for even considering trying to get family life back to normal. My head is all over the place. I'm thinking I might visit the doctor next week to see if they'll prescribe me some anxiety medication to help settle my mind a bit. I'm not sure if they'll show up as red flags with the SW though.
I think the hardest part of all of this is that I've just been left to it. No information or support has been offered at all. I only know what I've found for myself. I can't believe families are just left to it with No one or no where return to.
Thank you. Right now I feel like a crap parent for even considering trying to get family life back to normal. My head is all over the place. I'm thinking I might visit the doctor next week to see if they'll prescribe me some anxiety medication to help settle my mind a bit. I'm not sure if they'll show up as red flags with the SW though.
I think the hardest part of all of this is that I've just been left to it. No information or support has been offered at all. I only know what I've found for myself. I can't believe families are just left to it with No one or no where return to.