Family and Friends Forum

Up until recently we hadn't told many people about getting the knock and things because we hadn't needed too. My partner only ever really see my family if all the adults met up to do something so was never around any of the children, and we just didn't feel it necessary to tell anyone especially after we was advised by the police not too. Anyway, he was sentenced in June this year and things were going well until social got involved again and were demanding that all of our families knew even though we repeatedly told them how he had no contact with my families children. Anyway we eventually gave in and told them, I have 3 brothers. One took it reasonably well and has said that although he ain't pleased at all he understands and trusts me in my decisions. All fantastic. My other 2 brothers have gone completely crazy about it, one brother has calmed down and just said he doesn't wish to see my partner anymore which whatever doesn't phase me I only see that brother once or twice a year anyway. My issue is my 3rd brother, and his wife who i have never got along with. The pair of them have said some unforgiveable things about me and how I don't deserve to be a mum. How my children would be better off without me amongst lots of other things. Demanded that my whole family stop talking to me and lots of other nasty things not even about my partner which I would have expected but about me. Now personalised I think the things he's said about me as a mum are way out of line. He went to my parents house today and told my mum that him and his wife have calmed down and are ready to talk to me about this. His wife then to my mum expressed how "disappointed she is in me" and how "as a mum she expected better snd she is going to tell me her opinion when she sees me" ... I told my mum to tell her not to waste her breath becUse her opinion is irrelevant and I couldn't give a shit what she has to say ahout me. I will talk to my brother and my brother only because I don't owe her an explanation and I'll not sit there and have her think she's better than me. (There has been alot said and done over the years that I've always had to just shut up about) .. anyway as I said to my mum I'm 30 years old and I'm not about to live my life to please some woman who I only say hello too because my brother likes her.( I cannot stand her and never have been able too) if they don't want to talk to me ever again then that's absolutely fine by me.



My mum then expressed how selfish of me that is amd she has a right to an opinion and I should just shut up and listen to it basically. I just need to know if I'm in the right or wrong here. Do I have a right to stand up for myself, or shall I just put up and shut up and listen to what they have to say? I know they're going to tell me I have to leave my partner but that's not going to happen and I'll not have anyone tell me it needs too. I just need to know if I have a right to defend myself or not basically. Sorry but I've been thinking about it all day it's really bothering me haha.

Yeah of course she's entitled to her opinion but I also have a right to defend the opinions that are irrelevant to my partner? .. if her opinions were on him and what he's done I would 100% sit snd take it but I'll not sit and have her doubt me as a mum and that I think is where lines get crossed?

If it was her opinion on my partner I'd be willing to shut up and listen but I don't think she has the right to voice an opinion of me and my decisions just because it's different to whag she thinks I should be doing. Her and my brother both said to my mum that they're going to give me a decision between them or my partner. But again I've had so many issues with them over the years, she's said so much about me behind my back and when I've found out my parents have asked me to leave it and not start a row because it puts my brother in an awkward situation but I just I'm past that now. She's said she's not going to let me see her children, but again i don't care about that I don't see them from one month to the next because I wore a t-shirt she doesn't agree with or something. You know the film Ted? I went to the cinema to watch number 2 and i wasn't allowed to see her eldest because and this is her words "that films insulting not funny and if you laugh at it then that says all she needs to know"

And I've never said anything for my parents sake but I just don't think I can sit and take this one.