Can’t believe I’m back here
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Hi,
We got the knock 5 years ago and my at the time fiancé was arrested on suspicion of grooming. It resulted in no further action, but he did get a 2 year sexual risk order and I had to supervise all contact between him and his children for 2-3 years. Since then, we've built our life and relationship back up, lots of therapy, lots of building trust. We got married and I am now 6 months pregnant.
Yesterday morning we got another knock. I'm devastated beyond belief. This time it's voyeurism and sexual assault. I don't know how to come back from this, and I'm so close to giving birth to this man's baby which I now can't do anything about. He was taken around 5am yesterday, it's now nearly 9am so it sounds like they've been given an extension on time in custody, which makes me think they have something. I'm spiralling hard and went to call the helpline but found it's closed on a weekend so just trying to reach out for any support or words of wisdom. The police won't tell me anything.
We got the knock 5 years ago and my at the time fiancé was arrested on suspicion of grooming. It resulted in no further action, but he did get a 2 year sexual risk order and I had to supervise all contact between him and his children for 2-3 years. Since then, we've built our life and relationship back up, lots of therapy, lots of building trust. We got married and I am now 6 months pregnant.
Yesterday morning we got another knock. I'm devastated beyond belief. This time it's voyeurism and sexual assault. I don't know how to come back from this, and I'm so close to giving birth to this man's baby which I now can't do anything about. He was taken around 5am yesterday, it's now nearly 9am so it sounds like they've been given an extension on time in custody, which makes me think they have something. I'm spiralling hard and went to call the helpline but found it's closed on a weekend so just trying to reach out for any support or words of wisdom. The police won't tell me anything.
Oh Jayne, I'm so sorry you've found yourself here, you must be completely devastated. Going through this once was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and going through it again is one of my biggest nightmares.
I know it's easier sad than done but for the moment just try to breathe. If the only thing you manage to do for the next few hours is breathe then that's ok.
You'll find lots of support on here so keep reaching out to us over the weekend and we'll be here to hold your hand and help you get through it.
I know it's easier sad than done but for the moment just try to breathe. If the only thing you manage to do for the next few hours is breathe then that's ok.
You'll find lots of support on here so keep reaching out to us over the weekend and we'll be here to hold your hand and help you get through it.
Aw jayne totally devastated for you once is bad but I can't imagine how your feeling right now this is so hard for you, you can't control what's happening at the police station you have to concentrate on yourself is there a close friend you can trust to speak to? I am only a message away if I can do anything at all
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Thanks both. Ugh, I just can't believe it. I don't know how I coped last time at all, and this time I've got a baby on the way. It just feels insurmountable at the moment. I've got a close friend on her way round, who knows the situation from 5 years ago as well. I can't even think about getting through day by day right now, even hour by hour is hard.
Hi Jayne, just checking in with you. Have you now got your friend with you? And is there any news from the police yet?
Jayne, I'm so so very sorry. My ex reoffended and I really believed he wouldn't. X
Sending so many hugs.
This much better such a difficult time - like the others, all I can suggest is to just try and breathe.
Xx
This much better such a difficult time - like the others, all I can suggest is to just try and breathe.
Xx
hi Jayne
i'm sorry that you've had to join us on this forum unfortunately sometimes they do reoffend my OH reoffended after almost 10 years and within weeks of coming off the register I don't know why they do it but we all here to help you and support you if we can sending you love and hugs xxx
i'm sorry that you've had to join us on this forum unfortunately sometimes they do reoffend my OH reoffended after almost 10 years and within weeks of coming off the register I don't know why they do it but we all here to help you and support you if we can sending you love and hugs xxx
Hug from me too xxxxxxxxx
Jayne - I so hope that you have tangibly felt the strength of non judgmental support and compassion people here are sending your way. I want to add mine too and as others have said, do private message anyone if/when you feel ready and need a bit more privacy in what you want to ask or say xx
If ever there was a reason for us to support the helpline with their recent call for help with donations then this is a clear example. Jayne needs their support now and we are limited in scope to help. Weekend cover on the helpline, indeed and/or extended times of the day to access are vital.
I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, first time round is hell enough without a reoccurrence. I'm not surprised you're spiralling.
Please try and look after yourself and the baby, you could reach out to Samaritans simply to talk things through in a safe and non judgemental space. I'd also make your healthcare provider aware you're experiencing a traumatic situation so they can keep a careful eye on you and baby.
Sending all my love and I'm thankful you have a brilliant supportive friend by your side. Xx
I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, first time round is hell enough without a reoccurrence. I'm not surprised you're spiralling.
Please try and look after yourself and the baby, you could reach out to Samaritans simply to talk things through in a safe and non judgemental space. I'd also make your healthcare provider aware you're experiencing a traumatic situation so they can keep a careful eye on you and baby.
Sending all my love and I'm thankful you have a brilliant supportive friend by your side. Xx
Eye of the storm, you're so right about the need to support the helpline so it can be made available outside of the Monday-Friday hours.
This has started me thinking about whether the helpline employs volunteers and if it does whether more volunteers would mean the opening hours for the helpline could be extended across weekends.
Jayne was able to post on here and receive support but for others their posts will remain unseen until they are checked by LFF. I completely understand why this is necessary but it does leave new people without support across the weekends.
This has started me thinking about whether the helpline employs volunteers and if it does whether more volunteers would mean the opening hours for the helpline could be extended across weekends.
Jayne was able to post on here and receive support but for others their posts will remain unseen until they are checked by LFF. I completely understand why this is necessary but it does leave new people without support across the weekends.
Sending love and positive thoughts to you. I hope you have some answers and fast.
Take care xxx
Take care xxx
Have you stayed with your partner after reoffending? If more is found I can't stay a second round