Day of anxiety
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This is really my only outlet to say how I'm feeling since the knock last July for my 16yr old son. So sorry just a day I need to get things out of my head.
It's coming up to 7 months since the knock and now it's RUI rather than bail. That fills me with positives and negatives. I'm still going through the questioning and wondering due to us having no idea exactly what they are accusing him of other than his email and IP address linked to IIOC. Trying to think of scenarios that could have put us in this situation.
Had positive weekend then this morning I got scam email stating from Europol I think it was. I've deleted it now. But it was going on about investigations for porn etc. I know it was a scam and not even my email address that police have. But although silly it just brought all the emotions back from the situation we are in and all the wondering.
To top it off it's been hard day at work.
So not sure why I'm posting, guess just want to get things out of my head.
It's coming up to 7 months since the knock and now it's RUI rather than bail. That fills me with positives and negatives. I'm still going through the questioning and wondering due to us having no idea exactly what they are accusing him of other than his email and IP address linked to IIOC. Trying to think of scenarios that could have put us in this situation.
Had positive weekend then this morning I got scam email stating from Europol I think it was. I've deleted it now. But it was going on about investigations for porn etc. I know it was a scam and not even my email address that police have. But although silly it just brought all the emotions back from the situation we are in and all the wondering.
To top it off it's been hard day at work.
So not sure why I'm posting, guess just want to get things out of my head.
If you feel the need to get things out of your head by posting it here, then you do it. That's what we're here for. You know everyone here is going through a similar experience, whatever stage they're at, so we can totally empathise. You're gonna have good days and bad days, you just have to allow yourself to feel all the feelings and hope that tomorrow will be better x
It's awful when you have one of those bad days when everything feels like it's going wrong. Hopefully a better day tomorrow for you x
Hay that's what the score was burnt for us to be able to download and support each other on the very difficult circumstances that no one else understands unless you've been through it Sending you love and hugs xx
The anxiety is awful isn't it?
Thank you.
The anxiety is horrible. It makes you question everything. Every knock at the door.
The not knowing exactly what he's supposed to have done is also both frustrating and makes me anxious. I now have every Internet security in place. Every website, every app I've to approve, which doesn't bother him and I wish I'd done this before. He spends his days no different playing on PlayStation or watching YouTube shorts. Even spotify the age restriction is on. The fact this is so far from my sons character and he does report stuff that's wrong. I worry now it's changed to RUI will it take longer, he turns 17 later this year. I worry it will impact his A levels.
Everything is a worry. Why can't we be told exactly what the police have. It would make it easier to process. Reduce my anxiety to know exactly what platform he's supposedly used. All we have are our theories from what we picked up from the day of the knock which are:
1. "If we don't find the image that's the end of it"
This makes me think one image they are looking for. Which makes me then think Snapchat. He's reported Snapchat before and violation was accepted. That makes me think someone sent him the image if he's reported it. He says he can't remember but thinks it was IIOC.
If Snapchat he had this for school but only 8 months before the knock. That then makes us think it's someone at school. This particular kid once air dropped my son a photo of himself. Normal photo. Then when my son started college this kid appeared in same class. My son didn't go a second day and changed to A levels at 6th form. Next thing we know this kids also changed and appears in my sons tutor class. I speak to 6th form safeguarding to confirm the kid is there but don't ask for my son to be moved. Next thing my son says the kid is no longer in his tutorial.
I could be adding 2+2 and getting 5 but it seems odd.
2. Through the rap music he likes has he clicked on a website not ensuring it's a legitimate website. Same with the games website. He told police he clicked a pop up thinking it would go away and images popped up but he clicked off. This was when searching music or video games.
3. He would fall asleep watching youtube shorts so then they just go onto next one. Or same on tiktok and scrolling.
These are all my theories but fact our IP and his email it's Snapchat where I think the incident may be linked.
I just want it over but even then I don't think my anxiety will ever go.
Sorry for the ramble.
The anxiety is horrible. It makes you question everything. Every knock at the door.
The not knowing exactly what he's supposed to have done is also both frustrating and makes me anxious. I now have every Internet security in place. Every website, every app I've to approve, which doesn't bother him and I wish I'd done this before. He spends his days no different playing on PlayStation or watching YouTube shorts. Even spotify the age restriction is on. The fact this is so far from my sons character and he does report stuff that's wrong. I worry now it's changed to RUI will it take longer, he turns 17 later this year. I worry it will impact his A levels.
Everything is a worry. Why can't we be told exactly what the police have. It would make it easier to process. Reduce my anxiety to know exactly what platform he's supposedly used. All we have are our theories from what we picked up from the day of the knock which are:
1. "If we don't find the image that's the end of it"
This makes me think one image they are looking for. Which makes me then think Snapchat. He's reported Snapchat before and violation was accepted. That makes me think someone sent him the image if he's reported it. He says he can't remember but thinks it was IIOC.
If Snapchat he had this for school but only 8 months before the knock. That then makes us think it's someone at school. This particular kid once air dropped my son a photo of himself. Normal photo. Then when my son started college this kid appeared in same class. My son didn't go a second day and changed to A levels at 6th form. Next thing we know this kids also changed and appears in my sons tutor class. I speak to 6th form safeguarding to confirm the kid is there but don't ask for my son to be moved. Next thing my son says the kid is no longer in his tutorial.
I could be adding 2+2 and getting 5 but it seems odd.
2. Through the rap music he likes has he clicked on a website not ensuring it's a legitimate website. Same with the games website. He told police he clicked a pop up thinking it would go away and images popped up but he clicked off. This was when searching music or video games.
3. He would fall asleep watching youtube shorts so then they just go onto next one. Or same on tiktok and scrolling.
These are all my theories but fact our IP and his email it's Snapchat where I think the incident may be linked.
I just want it over but even then I don't think my anxiety will ever go.
Sorry for the ramble.
It is awful isn't it. I'm sorry you are struggling so much, the unknown is definitely hard to manage.
Is it possible he knows more but he is not wanting to admit? With my son they were also focussed on 1 image, but there were more. It was just that 1 had flagged it.
Also it was totally out of character for my son too, he is very moral usually and people say he is the perfect teenager!
Hopefully not the case with your son, but just a possibility. Not wanting to worry you more but good to be prepared for possibility that it wasn't a 1 off or an accident. I keep preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. I don't want a nasty shock, so preparing for bad if that makes sense! So hard to know what to do for the best.
Thinking of you. Hugs xx
Is it possible he knows more but he is not wanting to admit? With my son they were also focussed on 1 image, but there were more. It was just that 1 had flagged it.
Also it was totally out of character for my son too, he is very moral usually and people say he is the perfect teenager!
Hopefully not the case with your son, but just a possibility. Not wanting to worry you more but good to be prepared for possibility that it wasn't a 1 off or an accident. I keep preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. I don't want a nasty shock, so preparing for bad if that makes sense! So hard to know what to do for the best.
Thinking of you. Hugs xx
We do wonder if our son is scared of someone. If you try to discuss it he breaks down. Fact he's reported stuff as well. Like I said so many scenarios running through my head.
Thank you again for the support everyone.
Thank you again for the support everyone.