Family and Friends Forum

The best we can do is email our MP to describe what we've all been through and our thoughts on sentencing/rehabillitation. Most MP's won't have a clue. X

While the Government will never admit this, I doubt they actually have the capacity to curb this at source. First off, my guess is that most child sex abuse imagery is now produced overseas, in countries with a ready 'supply' of vulnerable invisible-to-the-authorities children to prey upon. Secondly, I don't think any national government really has any meaningful control over the Internet. A friendly US administration could crack down on Snapchat etc if they were willing, but then people would just go on Telegram or whatever. There is always a way.

Also this is very taboo on this forum, but I entirely understand the public on this TBH. I can understand the visceral reaction to someone who had been getting off to the rape of 6yos say, the desire to just have them locked up somewhere forever. I was genuinely surprised to learn early on in all this that even possession of Cat A of very young kids generally doesn't get you a prison sentence. I genuinely believe people can change, but I also think awful actions will get you awful consequences? So if my 'OH' turns out to have the more serious end of CSAM in any quantity at all & gets prison, I honestly couldn't & wouldn't complain at the unfairness.

Sad and scared,

I don't think it's as taboo as you think it is. I haven't come across anyone on this forum who didn't want their person to be punished for anything illegal that they've done intentionally (a little different for those who are here due to error). Posts after someone is sentenced to a custodial are generally filled with concerns rather than the injustice of the sentence.

We need to find a middle ground if we are, as a society, going to push for the changes that are necessary. The investigation and arrest rates prove that this is a problem that has now reached epidemic levels. I believe that it will be education of our secondary school aged children that will be the key to reducing these rates. Opening up dialogue with our children and removing the barriers to those with an attraction accessing support.

Whilst I accept that the fault is with the individuals in each case it is also important to note that as technology advances we need to from a government level to allow this education to happen xxx

I'd second it really not being Taboo at all.

if my OH has searched, downloaded or even accidentally viewed anything relating to an under 16 I'll be disappointed in him, and he will deserve whatever the courts decide(he's not been charged)

my son accidentally viewed an iioc a few years back at 13. he didn't tell anyone but we had a knock and he was very honest about what was sent to him immediately. if my OH was in that situation I'd expect him to know how important that honesty is baring in mind what my son went through.

The education given in schools about pornography and image taking/sending is what will go furthest. I don't think it's even possible to regulate sites online, luckily it's not as anonymous as some may think. I like to think our stories could really make people think twice

Sad and scared, prison was utterly pointless in my ex's case. All it did was traumatise him which made him much more likely to reoffend, which he has. If you look at other more progressive countries, their success rate for reoffending is much better than ours. Also, the hysteria around these cases by the public simply drives it more and more underground and less likely that anyone wants to actually find a cause and therefore effective treatment.

Was this a recent article?

For me I struggled on the forum to start with as I thought people were condoning what family members did but I soon realised that people are on here for support on a journey they never chose to join, my husband clicked a link which contained 5 images he deleted and never visited porn again from that day,all proven with private cyber expert, if he hadn't been on porn In the first place we wouldn't be in the situation so there has to be a consequence and he has done all that he was asked with his sentence and came out the other side, is he unscathed definitely not, will this live with him forever for sure, will he ever look at porn again absolutely not, but does he deserve to be branded the p word, I honestly don't think he does but maybe that's my personal opinion, do we as a family deserve to live with this hanging over us, I don't think we do as we made an informed decision with all the facts, I needed the expert report I needed to know all the details I needed to know all the facts.

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I think one of the problems with the system is it takes little regard to the spectrum of offending, when I hear a case where 5 images are downloaded accidentally and deleted then absolutely the response is very disproportionate but if the offending is 1000s of images downloaded and catalogued over a long period of time then the response is proportionate and maybe even lacking in some cases.

They should have a tier system that starts at community rehabilitation and awareness for low numbers of images, no previous offending and low risk reports. These cases should be anonymous and once the rehabilitation programme is complete they should be allowed to continue living unless they reoffend.

For those with large quantities of images intentional searches, higher time span offending and hiding it the penalties should be where they're at now but with better psychological rehabilitation provisions both within and outside of the prison system.

I also have a very strong reaction to this crime and find it abhorrent particularly in the more serious cases. However in the specific circumstances that the images are very few in number, accidentally clicked on, a pop up etc, I do genuinely find the polices power scary.

Lrf your response is spot on its a huge umbrella this offence, we were dealt with in court correctly but the media attention and lack of information in the article that has caused us so much grief, it never stated how many, never stated about expert finding, he recieved no shpo as the offence didnt warrant it, I don't think I will ever go on Facebook again due to what is said on a daily basis its so toxic its frightening, my daughter has just wrote a piece on social media and the effects it has on people her teacher wants to see it published, if there is a blessing in all this it's her drive to change the situation and give people a voice.

What paper? I tried to have a scan and couldn't find anything, but I'm always very tired so probably a contributing factor!



I'm always so envious with how well put people write their thoughts. I always come across as a stream of rambling, trying to convey how I try to make sense of everything and everything seems so big and overwhelming and sometimes quite contradictory.

I think the a more consistent tier system would make more sense and the more I lear I don't think prison always makes sense, in more cases than not I think it makes no sense. A complete change of opinion to pre knock.

My OH didn't find himself here through being a sex addict or searching for porn. He hadn't got a stash of downloaded images. It was 1 image cat C on a Snapchat profile page, that they arrested him for. He knew nothing about it, how it was there, as he had long since deleted the app having barely used it & wanted space on his phone.

He's been made to feel guilty & dirty & like he's got a problem. When he's innocent. It's affected his mental health & he kept his dark thoughts from me.

In terms of numbers there were five other people being prosecuted for similar offences on the day my person was in court. The day after there was four. This is just one court so you can imagine countrywide the numbers out there x