Limbo
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I'm feeling the need to talk today, and I'm so grateful for this safe space to be able to do so.
It's not a nice place, this Limbo Land, is it? With no idea of the timeline of how this will go after 2 weeks from The Knock, and my need to plan, it's like being subjected to slow emotional torture. I was fine yesterday, and couldn't understand why I felt fine, considering the situation I'm in. So I talked to my person about how I was feeling and now I feel just awful again. So very sad. I know there's anger there too but I don't have room for that today. I know this is a rollercoaster of a journey (one that I absolutely didn't want to go on) and some days will be worse or better than others, but its still so crap and unfair.
I feel like it's an inevitability that we'll end up seperating. I can't see him being the person I need him to be after all of this, regardless of whether I'm able to forgive him for the actuality of what he's done, and for what he's done to me and us. There's a high probability that this will go to court, and when it does i can't have him living here. I have a business to protect so I can continue to earn and look after myself. Who knows where he'll go. He doesn't want to go to his mums in case of any repercussions if this gets to social media, but he can't be homeless either. He has no friends to turn to. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun here, but its hard not to.
He has his 1st therapy session with Stop So tomorrow, and I have my 1st virtual meeting with someone from LFF, I think to discuss the Inform course. I'm just holding onto those for now. Its all I can do. Thankyou for reading. Love to you all xx
It's not a nice place, this Limbo Land, is it? With no idea of the timeline of how this will go after 2 weeks from The Knock, and my need to plan, it's like being subjected to slow emotional torture. I was fine yesterday, and couldn't understand why I felt fine, considering the situation I'm in. So I talked to my person about how I was feeling and now I feel just awful again. So very sad. I know there's anger there too but I don't have room for that today. I know this is a rollercoaster of a journey (one that I absolutely didn't want to go on) and some days will be worse or better than others, but its still so crap and unfair.
I feel like it's an inevitability that we'll end up seperating. I can't see him being the person I need him to be after all of this, regardless of whether I'm able to forgive him for the actuality of what he's done, and for what he's done to me and us. There's a high probability that this will go to court, and when it does i can't have him living here. I have a business to protect so I can continue to earn and look after myself. Who knows where he'll go. He doesn't want to go to his mums in case of any repercussions if this gets to social media, but he can't be homeless either. He has no friends to turn to. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun here, but its hard not to.
He has his 1st therapy session with Stop So tomorrow, and I have my 1st virtual meeting with someone from LFF, I think to discuss the Inform course. I'm just holding onto those for now. Its all I can do. Thankyou for reading. Love to you all xx
Sorry, not sure if your case is IIOC or communications? If IIOC, the period between the police turning up & the forensics coming back / second interview is the worst, and can be long (16 months in 'my' case). At this stage you just need to get all the info you can. Obviously he's your main source, so depends on what he's told you i.e. if he's admitted to X, Y & Z that gives you a starting point. If he hasn't it's harder! You can get him to agree to disclosure with police & a possible solicitor. The process is so long & slow that in his shoes I'd move in with his mother with the aim of working towards living independently by the time a potential case goes to court, which could easily be 2 years away if its IIOC (sorry!). Though I've been told by the solicitor in our case that these offences have become so common that the lower level of IIOC often just isn't interesting enough for the media. The barrister who handles his cases in our nearest crown court hasn't had a single one hit the media yet. So I do wonder if media attention is rarer than you might think from anecdotal evidence on here! I don't know if all that goes for communications ad well, but those cases are also skyrocketing so who knows.
Hi Sad&Scared, thanks for replying. I think my person is being honest with me when he's answered my questions. He's told me he's searched for, downloaded and viewed IIOC, didn't store anything, and often deleted the files before they'd even finished downloading. He says there was no distribution or communication, and explained how he'd got to this point. It makes me so angry that it's so easy for people to access this filth, and that it's so prolific these days. And if he'd have had therapy for issues we already had, we might not be in this position.
I know this is going to take a long time, and I'm probably going to have to ask him to move out. I'm just not quite there yet, plus he has a long list of diy and gardening to do that he's damn well doing. He owes me. If I'm going to be on my own trying to manage on old 3 bedroomed house and big garden by myself, it's the very least he can do.
I've been obsessively scouring our local media and social media, and the only 2 SO cases I've seen have been for much more serious offences. So I'm keeping everything crossed. You can't help but be scared about it though can you? Xx
I know this is going to take a long time, and I'm probably going to have to ask him to move out. I'm just not quite there yet, plus he has a long list of diy and gardening to do that he's damn well doing. He owes me. If I'm going to be on my own trying to manage on old 3 bedroomed house and big garden by myself, it's the very least he can do.
I've been obsessively scouring our local media and social media, and the only 2 SO cases I've seen have been for much more serious offences. So I'm keeping everything crossed. You can't help but be scared about it though can you? Xx