Under 18 SHPO
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I was a 14-15 when my mum answered the knock, I instantly new what was happening and I told them everything and gave them my devices. I stayed at my grandads house from then to also look after him because he was ill and because I couldn’t be at home. When my grandad passed away I had to move into supported accommodation and start living Alone. I am 17 now and I have got okay GCSEs and am in my second year at college (doing this wasn’t easy as college didn’t want me to attend as soon as I was convicted) ... what I am trying to say is that I’m no longer an offender, i was a child when this happened. I’m sorry if I’m being rude or posting in the wrong place but I have some things that really are worrying me and I don’t know who to ask.
1) Between the knock and being convicted (almost 2 years apart) I have gotten a girlfriend who I love so much and I have told her everything a couple months back and she still wants to stay with me. The police have said that I can’t speak to her until I tell her mum ( which I would do ) but now they’ve also told me social care wouldn’t allow it because she’s 18 and so I still wouldn’t be allowed to see her. I really don’t know what to do.
2) recently I’ve gotten a job to do with construction (cash in hand) and my mum drives me their. I told youth offending this and they told the police and now they’ve had me in for an interview asking me what days I was their and things... they said it might go to court or it might not.
what I need is a sexual harm prevention order that actually suits me and I don’t know how to get this, all my sexual harm prevention order does is make it hard to live and has me siting inside more doing nothing.
I dont know what replies I’m after I just want to speak to someone about it, also it feels like my typing is really messy as I
’m currently not in a good mood sorry.
also if any mums here are worried about What might happen to their sons or have questions feel free to ask
1) Between the knock and being convicted (almost 2 years apart) I have gotten a girlfriend who I love so much and I have told her everything a couple months back and she still wants to stay with me. The police have said that I can’t speak to her until I tell her mum ( which I would do ) but now they’ve also told me social care wouldn’t allow it because she’s 18 and so I still wouldn’t be allowed to see her. I really don’t know what to do.
2) recently I’ve gotten a job to do with construction (cash in hand) and my mum drives me their. I told youth offending this and they told the police and now they’ve had me in for an interview asking me what days I was their and things... they said it might go to court or it might not.
what I need is a sexual harm prevention order that actually suits me and I don’t know how to get this, all my sexual harm prevention order does is make it hard to live and has me siting inside more doing nothing.
I dont know what replies I’m after I just want to speak to someone about it, also it feels like my typing is really messy as I
’m currently not in a good mood sorry.
also if any mums here are worried about What might happen to their sons or have questions feel free to ask
“because she’s under 18 (aged 16) and so I still wouldn’t be allowed to see her. I really don’t know what to do.
Hi LyiU0eg!XA*h
Sorry to read you are are so stressed... First can I recommend you contact the help line... They will be able to answer your questions hopefully.
As for a SHPO... this is a civil order made by the courts and not by the police... Although they normally recommend one in there reports.
Because it's a civil order it can be discharged... amended or changed by submitting an application to where it was issued... ie the court which dealt with your case.
You do not need police or probation permission to proceed with this procedure and neither do you need a solicitor as it will be dealt as a civil case. You can submit your objections in writing and/or attend in person.
If the SHPO is having such an adverse affect on your life... career prospects then its worth looking into.
Finally its alway best to get support from your probation officer if you can.
Also remember that a SHPO is a conviction seperate to any criminal penalty so if you have a 5/7/10 year SHPO and only a 12 month sentence for example the conviction will NOT be spent until the SHPO is either discharged....amended or completed.
Best wishes...
Sorry to read you are are so stressed... First can I recommend you contact the help line... They will be able to answer your questions hopefully.
As for a SHPO... this is a civil order made by the courts and not by the police... Although they normally recommend one in there reports.
Because it's a civil order it can be discharged... amended or changed by submitting an application to where it was issued... ie the court which dealt with your case.
You do not need police or probation permission to proceed with this procedure and neither do you need a solicitor as it will be dealt as a civil case. You can submit your objections in writing and/or attend in person.
If the SHPO is having such an adverse affect on your life... career prospects then its worth looking into.
Finally its alway best to get support from your probation officer if you can.
Also remember that a SHPO is a conviction seperate to any criminal penalty so if you have a 5/7/10 year SHPO and only a 12 month sentence for example the conviction will NOT be spent until the SHPO is either discharged....amended or completed.
Best wishes...
Sorry meant... sjqkdbw
Thankyou for taking your time to type all that snowdrop. I will definitely have a look into this. At first the judge gave me a 2.5year Shpo so it would become spent at the same time as my sex offender registering, but the police took it back to court again saying it needed to be a minimum 5years and that the judge made a mistake so now I have sex offending for 2.5years and SHPO for 5years, I read somewhere on google that having a SHPO forces you to be on the sex offence registry meaning I would also be a sex offender for 5 years, Is this true?
Hi...
As I've said.. The help line will definitely answer your questions... As for being on the register this is not as draconian as a SHPO... you only need to comply by signing once a year and complying with the rules such as disclosing holidays abroad if longer than 7 day's... staying at addresses where a person is under 18...you can do this but you must disclose your conviction to the household.
The register does not need to disclosed to any employer... The SHPO being a conviction does.
I hope you get the answers you need... and remember the SHPO is a civil order and you can ask to have it amended... discharged if its adversely affecting your life. You just need to evidence this. I find it hard to believe that working in construction is putting you in safe guarding risk... What evidence are the police using to identify so called vulnerable people??
This is one example you could use....
Good luck... Best wishes..
As I've said.. The help line will definitely answer your questions... As for being on the register this is not as draconian as a SHPO... you only need to comply by signing once a year and complying with the rules such as disclosing holidays abroad if longer than 7 day's... staying at addresses where a person is under 18...you can do this but you must disclose your conviction to the household.
The register does not need to disclosed to any employer... The SHPO being a conviction does.
I hope you get the answers you need... and remember the SHPO is a civil order and you can ask to have it amended... discharged if its adversely affecting your life. You just need to evidence this. I find it hard to believe that working in construction is putting you in safe guarding risk... What evidence are the police using to identify so called vulnerable people??
This is one example you could use....
Good luck... Best wishes..
Can i also recommend you view hub.unlock.org.uk
Its a great site for further advice re time scales for those who are under 18.
Its a great site for further advice re time scales for those who are under 18.
Sjqdkdbw,
Just wanted to say, I hope you can keep moving forward in life and stay positive. It was a nice gesture to state you will answer questions mum's on here may have. That doesn't apply to me but it does to many others on here.
I wish you well. Try the helpline they will have good advice for you.
Just wanted to say, I hope you can keep moving forward in life and stay positive. It was a nice gesture to state you will answer questions mum's on here may have. That doesn't apply to me but it does to many others on here.
I wish you well. Try the helpline they will have good advice for you.
Hello.
I just wanted to offer you some reassurance and also a warning.
My husband was under 18 when he committed his first offence. He told me when we met as adults. It overshadowed his life. He was so ashamed of what he'd done that I chose to stay with him. 5 years feels like forever but I promise it isn't, there is life beyond being "an offender".
He managed to find a trainee job that didn't ask about convictions. Worked his way up and was on a good salary by his mid twenties. We married, bought a home, had a child.
He had a "normal" life , the conviction was far behind him. On paper he had everything.
So time and effort really can heal, especially when you are young. Keep plodding on, strive to be the best person you can be. Focus on establishing a career for yourself and take any training or education you can get while you are young and also waiting for the conviction to become spent. You have a long and good life ahead of you, your offences are a small part of your life and in ten years time you could be in a great place!
Now the unfortunate warning. Don't get complacent and assume that you will never offend again. Make your mental health a priority and get a good understanding of why you offended in the first place and what you will do to ensure a healthy mind and body. If you are stuck at home between jobs, spend time cooking healthy (cheap) meals from scratch and take up running/free exercise. See your friends and seek counselling when you need it. Call the helpline. Make it your life goal to give yourself the best opportunities by never reoffending.
My husband had it all and lost it all by reoffending many years later. Short term stress that, for reasons I'll never understand, he dealt with by looking at indecent images. Sacrificing his job, family and home.
Don't be him. Create a good life for yourself and do anything you can to defend it. If you love your girlfriend then wait for her to turn 18. It feels like forever but if it's meant to be then you will be together eventually.
Thank you for reaching out. Definitely contact the Stop It Now helpline and ask about the SHPO too. My husband found it really helpful as a young offender to focus on the opportunities that he COULD take rather than grieve the opportunities that were not open to him with a conviction. It's amazing what pathways are still open to you when you are young.
Good luck
I just wanted to offer you some reassurance and also a warning.
My husband was under 18 when he committed his first offence. He told me when we met as adults. It overshadowed his life. He was so ashamed of what he'd done that I chose to stay with him. 5 years feels like forever but I promise it isn't, there is life beyond being "an offender".
He managed to find a trainee job that didn't ask about convictions. Worked his way up and was on a good salary by his mid twenties. We married, bought a home, had a child.
He had a "normal" life , the conviction was far behind him. On paper he had everything.
So time and effort really can heal, especially when you are young. Keep plodding on, strive to be the best person you can be. Focus on establishing a career for yourself and take any training or education you can get while you are young and also waiting for the conviction to become spent. You have a long and good life ahead of you, your offences are a small part of your life and in ten years time you could be in a great place!
Now the unfortunate warning. Don't get complacent and assume that you will never offend again. Make your mental health a priority and get a good understanding of why you offended in the first place and what you will do to ensure a healthy mind and body. If you are stuck at home between jobs, spend time cooking healthy (cheap) meals from scratch and take up running/free exercise. See your friends and seek counselling when you need it. Call the helpline. Make it your life goal to give yourself the best opportunities by never reoffending.
My husband had it all and lost it all by reoffending many years later. Short term stress that, for reasons I'll never understand, he dealt with by looking at indecent images. Sacrificing his job, family and home.
Don't be him. Create a good life for yourself and do anything you can to defend it. If you love your girlfriend then wait for her to turn 18. It feels like forever but if it's meant to be then you will be together eventually.
Thank you for reaching out. Definitely contact the Stop It Now helpline and ask about the SHPO too. My husband found it really helpful as a young offender to focus on the opportunities that he COULD take rather than grieve the opportunities that were not open to him with a conviction. It's amazing what pathways are still open to you when you are young.
Good luck
Thank you, Dottie and worried mum for your nice and helpful replies.
Hello sjqkdbw,
I am pleased to see that you have found the Friends and Family forum to be a place where you can receive some helpful advice for your situation. We would just like to take this opportunity to remind users that this forum has been designed for family members and friends of those who have committed offences relating to the access of indecent images of children, to be able to seek support and advice from others going through similar situations to themselves.
We kindly ask individuals that have been involved in these offences to call our Stop it Now! Helpline (0808 1000 900) instead of posting on this forum, in order to receive the most appropriate advice possible. Please be assured that the helpline is anonymous and confidential. You can also contact us via our anonymised email system to receive support and advice, which you can access at https://contactus.stopitnow.org.uk/.
Thank you.
I am pleased to see that you have found the Friends and Family forum to be a place where you can receive some helpful advice for your situation. We would just like to take this opportunity to remind users that this forum has been designed for family members and friends of those who have committed offences relating to the access of indecent images of children, to be able to seek support and advice from others going through similar situations to themselves.
We kindly ask individuals that have been involved in these offences to call our Stop it Now! Helpline (0808 1000 900) instead of posting on this forum, in order to receive the most appropriate advice possible. Please be assured that the helpline is anonymous and confidential. You can also contact us via our anonymised email system to receive support and advice, which you can access at https://contactus.stopitnow.org.uk/.
Thank you.