Cant stop thinking!
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I find that I absolutely cannot stop thinking about everything. The thoughts on the future and what is going happen wont let up. All of this has caused a massive fall out with my sister and very close cousins. I find myself having internal conversations every second of every day. I wake up in the middle of the night flooded with these hypothetical conversations as well as obsessively googling and researching non-stop of possible outcomes or if my SO will ever be truly "rehabbed" i worry about him re-offending years down the road. We also have two sons and my entire town found out about my husbands charges so he will likely never be able to show his face in this town at their school or sporting events. How do I explain that to them? They are 10 and 5 and do not have any knowledge of what is going on. My 10yo knows my husband was arrested as they were eating breakfast when we got "the knock" but he doesnt know why. There are just so many things. I worry i will never speak to my cousins again (their choice) and never have a relationship like i had with my sister again. There was just so much fall out from all of this. Im having such a tough time coping with all the losses. My marriage, my family and my life as i knew it. How do you all get any relief.
Bless you - relief it's very hard to find in the early days, it's all so much to cope with at once and very frightening. I often felt I was in the middle of a crowd of people jeering, waving fists and pointing at me demanding answers. Whilst all the time I just wanted to curl up in a ball and be left alone with my thoughts. It was truly lonely & horrible so I know where you're coming from X
It also feels the situation never leaves your mind from when you wake up in the morning until you go to bed at night, which is very draining. My son continues to be on my mind but in a way I'm settled by support - mostly from friends I've met on this forum who understand 100% - I also allow a time/space to focus's thoughts on my son then move on & concentrate on the other things in my life.
But honestly, this will ease as time marches forward.
I'm sure all on the forum resignate with your post. Take care my lovely and keep strong XXXX
It also feels the situation never leaves your mind from when you wake up in the morning until you go to bed at night, which is very draining. My son continues to be on my mind but in a way I'm settled by support - mostly from friends I've met on this forum who understand 100% - I also allow a time/space to focus's thoughts on my son then move on & concentrate on the other things in my life.
But honestly, this will ease as time marches forward.
I'm sure all on the forum resignate with your post. Take care my lovely and keep strong XXXX
I can truly feel your anxiety I searched and searched for outcomes for answers for reasoning sadly this is the normal part of it all, sending love and strength great tip allowing you certain time to think then move on and do something else.
Sending love and strength
Sending love and strength
It's tough..our minds are our own worst enemy at times aren't they? At least mine is.
Sometimes an actual off switch would be great. I don't even get respite when I sleep. I have horrendous nightmares. Sometimes related to our mess. Sometimes not related, just horrible and I wake up with my heart racing, dripping with sweat..thanks brain - a bog standard dream would be lovely occasionally
Sometimes an actual off switch would be great. I don't even get respite when I sleep. I have horrendous nightmares. Sometimes related to our mess. Sometimes not related, just horrible and I wake up with my heart racing, dripping with sweat..thanks brain - a bog standard dream would be lovely occasionally
I remember those thoughts only too well. The long days and nights when you can't think of anything else, the catastrosizing, the feeling of dread and a stomach that is constantly in knots.
For me there was no magic cure, a mixture of medication, guided meditation and mindfulness helped a little but it is time that's really made the difference.
As time passes you'll find that you have the odd few minutes when you've managed to think about something else and those few minutes will gradually increase until you can go an hour or so without having those stomach churning thoughts.
I'm here because of my son, all my worst fears came true and we reached rock bottom before things slowly started to improve.
My sons was called a 'p' on social media and in the local papers after the media reported on his case. Initially he felt like he'd never be able to leave the house again. But 16 months later he is able to go into the school, with supervision, to collect his children and was able to watch his child's school play at Christmas. His SHPO means he is not allowed to be unsupervised with under 18's but the need for supervision has become part of life for us now.
My son moved back in with us on the night of his arrest and is still living with us now. He has his children to stay at weekends and we enjoy days out doing the types of activities that any other children do. Yes life will never be what it was for any of us but we've made a new life, with new routines and we're now able to laugh and have fun again.
For me there was no magic cure, a mixture of medication, guided meditation and mindfulness helped a little but it is time that's really made the difference.
As time passes you'll find that you have the odd few minutes when you've managed to think about something else and those few minutes will gradually increase until you can go an hour or so without having those stomach churning thoughts.
I'm here because of my son, all my worst fears came true and we reached rock bottom before things slowly started to improve.
My sons was called a 'p' on social media and in the local papers after the media reported on his case. Initially he felt like he'd never be able to leave the house again. But 16 months later he is able to go into the school, with supervision, to collect his children and was able to watch his child's school play at Christmas. His SHPO means he is not allowed to be unsupervised with under 18's but the need for supervision has become part of life for us now.
My son moved back in with us on the night of his arrest and is still living with us now. He has his children to stay at weekends and we enjoy days out doing the types of activities that any other children do. Yes life will never be what it was for any of us but we've made a new life, with new routines and we're now able to laugh and have fun again.
Thankyou for posting some hope for us all xx
Thank you so much for your post that there is a light at this very dark long tunnel! Gives me a little hope!