Social Services
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My person was arrested recently for IIOC offences. They do not live with us but have always had fairly regular supervised access with our children.
Social services phoned my partner and said no contact at all. They then phoned me later that day and suggested they could have supervised contact.
Because of this and a conversation between me and my partner I decided to phone back today to clarify.
I was immediately asked if I was on their side or his. I told them theirs but he hasn't even been charged so I'm concerned it'll go NFA with the only consequence being affects on the childrens mental health.
I was told his bail conditions say he can supervised, I said "so you're saying he can supervised then?" At that point I was told "No, I'm not saying that. My advice to you is to protect your children"
Now they're due to call back in the next 5 days to arrange a visit so I think the plan until then is no contact at all as we've not been given a clear answer either way.
The call was recorded so I've got hard evidence of what was said but I felt like I was being patronised and like someone was trying to put words in my mouth throughout the whole conversation.
What's likely the next steps with these?
Social services phoned my partner and said no contact at all. They then phoned me later that day and suggested they could have supervised contact.
Because of this and a conversation between me and my partner I decided to phone back today to clarify.
I was immediately asked if I was on their side or his. I told them theirs but he hasn't even been charged so I'm concerned it'll go NFA with the only consequence being affects on the childrens mental health.
I was told his bail conditions say he can supervised, I said "so you're saying he can supervised then?" At that point I was told "No, I'm not saying that. My advice to you is to protect your children"
Now they're due to call back in the next 5 days to arrange a visit so I think the plan until then is no contact at all as we've not been given a clear answer either way.
The call was recorded so I've got hard evidence of what was said but I felt like I was being patronised and like someone was trying to put words in my mouth throughout the whole conversation.
What's likely the next steps with these?
Hi,
was it your named social worker that you spoke to on the phone? I have to say I'm disgusted by the their side or his attitude as it should be that everyone is on the children's side and working together to manage their needs in a safe and positive way.
They have 45 days from initial referral to conduct their first assessment and decide if any action other than the supervised contact on his bail conditions is required. They will also assess as part of this if you are suitable to supervise that contact. I'd air on the side of caution when discussing likely outcomes especially NFA because ss work on probability of risk so even if NFA that doesn't necessarily reduce the risk in their eyes. Some things to consider are your children's ages and developmental stages, what does supervision look like for your family or what do you want it to look like? For example if you enjoy days out together and you have multiple children would you take them all with you to the toilets if you are out and about or would you have to consider having another adult there who is aware of the situation and could supervise alongside yourself? How will you explain the situation to your children? Who forms your support network and what do they know about the arrest etc? You can write a safety plan of what you'd like contact to look like, I'd keep it pretty simple like bullet points things like no personal care if the child isn't able to do their own, pants work you have done or plan to do, will you have something in place around technology whilst contact is happening-perhaps dad leaves his phone out of sight and you take any photos to send to him. Just basic things but by doing these things you mitigate the possible risks. Avoid saying you don't believe he is a risk to his own children, maybe redirect to how you can manage those risks xxx
was it your named social worker that you spoke to on the phone? I have to say I'm disgusted by the their side or his attitude as it should be that everyone is on the children's side and working together to manage their needs in a safe and positive way.
They have 45 days from initial referral to conduct their first assessment and decide if any action other than the supervised contact on his bail conditions is required. They will also assess as part of this if you are suitable to supervise that contact. I'd air on the side of caution when discussing likely outcomes especially NFA because ss work on probability of risk so even if NFA that doesn't necessarily reduce the risk in their eyes. Some things to consider are your children's ages and developmental stages, what does supervision look like for your family or what do you want it to look like? For example if you enjoy days out together and you have multiple children would you take them all with you to the toilets if you are out and about or would you have to consider having another adult there who is aware of the situation and could supervise alongside yourself? How will you explain the situation to your children? Who forms your support network and what do they know about the arrest etc? You can write a safety plan of what you'd like contact to look like, I'd keep it pretty simple like bullet points things like no personal care if the child isn't able to do their own, pants work you have done or plan to do, will you have something in place around technology whilst contact is happening-perhaps dad leaves his phone out of sight and you take any photos to send to him. Just basic things but by doing these things you mitigate the possible risks. Avoid saying you don't believe he is a risk to his own children, maybe redirect to how you can manage those risks xxx