Anxious!
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Tonight I am having dinner with my sister. After "the knock" i expected support from her and instead she turned around and treated me horribly. She screamed and cursed me out bc it took me 9 days to ask my husband to leave. What she put me through during the darkest moment of my life was cruel. Her along with other family members treated me as if i was the offender which made this entire experience 100x worse then it already was. She apologized on New Years Eve and since we have not discussed anything around this situation we talk about things like the weather or any surface level conversations. She hasnt even asked me how I am doing or how my children are handling the complete explosion of the life they once knew. I am at a point where i think i need to express how badly she hurt me and the trauma responses she caused me to go into with multiple fights within the first 3 weeks (she was still fighting me even after i asked my husband to leave). I think she is in a calmer headspace now but I dont know what to expect. She has taken over my brain and its time i confront it but I am so damn anxious. I feel strong enough finally to have this conversation but what if Im not? What if she freaks out again and throws me back into the early trauma response. To top it off we have a court date set in Monday where the DA truly seems like she wants to crucify my husband. So many mixed emotions on this. I need to know why people treated me that way esp my sister. Just needed to vent somewhere and prayers would be helpful.
Will pray for your situation!
It's hard isn't it. I think the people close to us are also processing the same emotions we are...shock, betrayal, grief, horror, fear for the future. Ok it's obviously a less close relationship, but it's still a relationship. Also when you look at the awful statistics for the percentage of adults who have experienced some form of sexual abuse in their lives, often in childhood, you can do the maths & assume that at least some of the reactions are rooted in horrible personal pain. I don't blame those ppl for really needing to be as far away as possible from these situations.
It's easier for me in that we have separated & did so straightaway, but I have a family member who is absolutely seething with hatred & is angry I & the children haven't gone completely non contact (we're still waiting in the limbo stage, 18 months in!). I have my own share of fury & hatred at times but I can't let it eat me up as I think it's eating them up.
Actually I've been lucky in that I told far more ppl than anyone is usually advised to on this site (all close family on both sides, a small circle of close friends) and everyone has been extremely supportive. I think it would be different if I was staying potentially, at least with some ppl.
So no answers really! Just some sympathy & hope that things can improve. I think time is a great healer.
It's hard isn't it. I think the people close to us are also processing the same emotions we are...shock, betrayal, grief, horror, fear for the future. Ok it's obviously a less close relationship, but it's still a relationship. Also when you look at the awful statistics for the percentage of adults who have experienced some form of sexual abuse in their lives, often in childhood, you can do the maths & assume that at least some of the reactions are rooted in horrible personal pain. I don't blame those ppl for really needing to be as far away as possible from these situations.
It's easier for me in that we have separated & did so straightaway, but I have a family member who is absolutely seething with hatred & is angry I & the children haven't gone completely non contact (we're still waiting in the limbo stage, 18 months in!). I have my own share of fury & hatred at times but I can't let it eat me up as I think it's eating them up.
Actually I've been lucky in that I told far more ppl than anyone is usually advised to on this site (all close family on both sides, a small circle of close friends) and everyone has been extremely supportive. I think it would be different if I was staying potentially, at least with some ppl.
So no answers really! Just some sympathy & hope that things can improve. I think time is a great healer.
lost a lot of family members but they didn't give my family the time of day, asked no questions instantly went against us took part in vile vigilante groups and online slander I thibk it's shows more about their character as I personally could never treat people that way ..were alll different no one wants tarred with the stigma , not a lot understand and it's easier for people to cut us off and that if fine I'm still the same person as are my family and young person this happened too and that's why I stay around sorry this is happening to you also xx