I found it
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My first post and just hoping someone can say there will be light at the end of the tunnel. It's been just over 2 weeks since I found what I found on my husbands phone.
I now question my whole life!
my daughter doesn't understand why she can't see Daddy and I can't understand how he would do this to us.
I wake every day hoping it was just a nightmare and then bam I am right back at the moment I found it.
our lives will never be the same again and I have no idea how to get through tomorrow knowing the person I loved and trusted could do this.
If I didn't have my daughter I wouldn't be here, but I know for her I must keep going, but each day feels like a lifetime and every second is taken up by questions that I doubt will ever be answered.
my daughter is safe and for that I am glad and hopeful that after children's services initial assessment they feel nothing has happened to her. I know that i should and of course am grateful for that, but he doesn't seem to understand why I am so protective of her from him. I don't want him to ever see her again, but with very little support around me with regards to childcare I feel the rest of my days will be like today... long/alone/desperate for help, even though I don't know what that help looks like.
I now question my whole life!
my daughter doesn't understand why she can't see Daddy and I can't understand how he would do this to us.
I wake every day hoping it was just a nightmare and then bam I am right back at the moment I found it.
our lives will never be the same again and I have no idea how to get through tomorrow knowing the person I loved and trusted could do this.
If I didn't have my daughter I wouldn't be here, but I know for her I must keep going, but each day feels like a lifetime and every second is taken up by questions that I doubt will ever be answered.
my daughter is safe and for that I am glad and hopeful that after children's services initial assessment they feel nothing has happened to her. I know that i should and of course am grateful for that, but he doesn't seem to understand why I am so protective of her from him. I don't want him to ever see her again, but with very little support around me with regards to childcare I feel the rest of my days will be like today... long/alone/desperate for help, even though I don't know what that help looks like.
I'm so sorry that you have found yourself here.
My situation is very different but I just want to give you some reassurance that it sounds like you are doing all the right things. If you feel able to, reach out to your GP - I have been very well supported and have medication to calm me down and to help me sleep. Sleep is important to get you through.
It will feel very raw. You'll be hurting. You'll be thinking that decisions must be made immediately and you will hate the world but the best advice I can give you is to take each day as it comes and deal with the present. When you feel able to, educate yourself on the legal process, the why's and how's but for now, one step at a time and if that just means getting yourself dressed and your hair brushed for the day that's ok.
Everything you feel is expected and reasonable and understandable and there will be lots of people on this forum who will be able to relate.
Sending you strength.
My situation is very different but I just want to give you some reassurance that it sounds like you are doing all the right things. If you feel able to, reach out to your GP - I have been very well supported and have medication to calm me down and to help me sleep. Sleep is important to get you through.
It will feel very raw. You'll be hurting. You'll be thinking that decisions must be made immediately and you will hate the world but the best advice I can give you is to take each day as it comes and deal with the present. When you feel able to, educate yourself on the legal process, the why's and how's but for now, one step at a time and if that just means getting yourself dressed and your hair brushed for the day that's ok.
Everything you feel is expected and reasonable and understandable and there will be lots of people on this forum who will be able to relate.
Sending you strength.
I'd echo everything love actually has said. I'm four years post sentencing, my partner committed a communication offence. It's not the life I planned but I'm still here and my children are continuing to thrive in every area of their lives.
Give yourself time and space to grieve and process xxx
Give yourself time and space to grieve and process xxx
I'm sorry you find yourself here. Smart phones have an awful lot to answer for. I hate them sometimes. I'd been with my husband for 30 years bringing up 4 children when he was first arrested. X