Thought things were getting better, but no...
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Just replied to Friday check in post, all happy and positive that there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Then I received a message from probation telling me that the safe place I'd found for my son to stay when he gets out of prison isn't going to be approved. I don't know why they didn't tell me that when I was discussing it with them nearly 2 weeks ago...
He gets released on Wednesday. How the hell am I supposed to find him somewhere safe where he won't be at risk and get it approved in 4 days?
It feels like they're setting him up to fail. Hey want him somewhere they know where he is, and yet they're prepared for him to potentially end up in a tent where he could just completely disappear? Also, he's vulnerable and immature for his age (he's only 21 as it is) and this has been admitted and acknowledged every step of the way by police and the courts and yet they're happy to throw him to the lions...
Make it make sense...
Then I received a message from probation telling me that the safe place I'd found for my son to stay when he gets out of prison isn't going to be approved. I don't know why they didn't tell me that when I was discussing it with them nearly 2 weeks ago...
He gets released on Wednesday. How the hell am I supposed to find him somewhere safe where he won't be at risk and get it approved in 4 days?
It feels like they're setting him up to fail. Hey want him somewhere they know where he is, and yet they're prepared for him to potentially end up in a tent where he could just completely disappear? Also, he's vulnerable and immature for his age (he's only 21 as it is) and this has been admitted and acknowledged every step of the way by police and the courts and yet they're happy to throw him to the lions...
Make it make sense...
Hello Devastated Mum
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, with such short notice to sort out a safe alternative.
Did they say why the safe place you had found for your son was not going to be approved?
I have just found this link from NACRO, it may be worth seeing if they can help in anyway, maybe? https://www.nacro.org.uk/nacro-services/our-work-in-housing/
Thinking of you and your son.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, with such short notice to sort out a safe alternative.
Did they say why the safe place you had found for your son was not going to be approved?
I have just found this link from NACRO, it may be worth seeing if they can help in anyway, maybe? https://www.nacro.org.uk/nacro-services/our-work-in-housing/
Thinking of you and your son.
Thank you for thinking of us and finding this link.
I just checked it out and unfortunately they don't house prison leavers with SO convictions...
I've messaged probation back asking where they expect him to go...
I just don't want him in a hostel as the ones round here are notoriously rough and in dodgy areas...
I just checked it out and unfortunately they don't house prison leavers with SO convictions...
I've messaged probation back asking where they expect him to go...
I just don't want him in a hostel as the ones round here are notoriously rough and in dodgy areas...
Hi Devastated Mum
I have just read the link too, so sorry to have led your down this path.
I really hope you can get something sorted out and able to speak to probation on Monday. If not, the charities like Unlock and Nacro maybe good to contact just for support and advise and incase they can signpost you somewhere else, maybe?
Take care x
I have just read the link too, so sorry to have led your down this path.
I really hope you can get something sorted out and able to speak to probation on Monday. If not, the charities like Unlock and Nacro maybe good to contact just for support and advise and incase they can signpost you somewhere else, maybe?
Take care x
Afternoon Devastated x
Ahh what a worry, can they not recommend somewhere for your son to go to?
This is my worry when HC is due to come home and they leave everything until the last minute so frustrating
I really hope you can get somewhere sorted in the next couple of days xx
Ahh what a worry, can they not recommend somewhere for your son to go to?
This is my worry when HC is due to come home and they leave everything until the last minute so frustrating
I really hope you can get somewhere sorted in the next couple of days xx
This is a massive concern for me when my son gets released from prison. No wonder most of the prisoners prefer to serve their full sentence in custody , which I think is very sad.
Hi, obviously I don't know where you are in the country but when my ex left prison, his probation officer got him into a shared accommodation place run by a charity called the Langley Trust. Until we got him in there, we had to put him up in the cheapest BnB or hotel we could find for about a month. We made sure it wasn't near a school or playground etc and informed them each time where he was. The police would come and check up on him each time. They knew he had no choice at that point other than being on the streets which is ludicrous for everyone involved.
just had another thought though. Although it was a huge relief that he had a roof over his head, he was living with about 5 hardended criminals. It wasn't ideal at all and I constantly worried that they would find out what his crimes were. I just wanted to point out to you that Probation are supposed to and are able to find accommodation sometimes. X
just had another thought though. Although it was a huge relief that he had a roof over his head, he was living with about 5 hardended criminals. It wasn't ideal at all and I constantly worried that they would find out what his crimes were. I just wanted to point out to you that Probation are supposed to and are able to find accommodation sometimes. X
Thanks for that reassurance LittleRobin3 x
I asked my ex about it. The Police just want to know where he is, even if it's a particular park bench. Probation's role is to help the offender ie finding accommodation. I'm really sorry I can't be of more help. X
Thank you all xxx
Upset mum and Smile through tears- it's been a huge worry of ours and I really thought we had it sorted - an old caravan on a smallholding - not great, but better than a tent or a doorway...
Apparently there will be too many children... I had a long chat with the farmer, including full disclosure and he was happy, but police and probation not do much... (his youngest is 17, there's no other children, other than the odd event he holds, and we've already said we'll remove son for thise events if he's still there...
Anyhoo, I made the mistake of posting this (anonymously) in a Facebook group that I've been in for years (some of the girls gave been friends in my phone for 22 years) I've had quite a few supportive, helpful comments, but then there's the nasty ones saying he deserves to be homeless etc....
Broke my own rule of not looking at comments! It's so easy to be judgemental when you're looking at it from the outside... even when presented with the facts they chose to be unkind. Well, I'm sorry for choosing to stick by my son, but tough...
Well take him to declare himself homeless with housing when we get him back and go from there...
Upset mum and Smile through tears- it's been a huge worry of ours and I really thought we had it sorted - an old caravan on a smallholding - not great, but better than a tent or a doorway...
Apparently there will be too many children... I had a long chat with the farmer, including full disclosure and he was happy, but police and probation not do much... (his youngest is 17, there's no other children, other than the odd event he holds, and we've already said we'll remove son for thise events if he's still there...
Anyhoo, I made the mistake of posting this (anonymously) in a Facebook group that I've been in for years (some of the girls gave been friends in my phone for 22 years) I've had quite a few supportive, helpful comments, but then there's the nasty ones saying he deserves to be homeless etc....
Broke my own rule of not looking at comments! It's so easy to be judgemental when you're looking at it from the outside... even when presented with the facts they chose to be unkind. Well, I'm sorry for choosing to stick by my son, but tough...
Well take him to declare himself homeless with housing when we get him back and go from there...
Devastatedmum
I'm sorry, I guess that's all you can do. I'm also sorry about the lazy, knee jerk comments. They're always the same and you can bet your life that if it were them, they'd stand by their son too! X
I'm sorry, I guess that's all you can do. I'm also sorry about the lazy, knee jerk comments. They're always the same and you can bet your life that if it were them, they'd stand by their son too! X
How frustrating for you and your son. I don't have any practical advice, but I really feel for you.
It's a stressful enough time as it is, isn't it?
I hope you manage to get something in place quickly.
It's a stressful enough time as it is, isn't it?
I hope you manage to get something in place quickly.
The reality of trying to live a life where there is zero contact with children is ridiculous. If you've carefully considered all the potential options and thought of a plan to avoid contact - fully disclosed to the man who's property the caravan is on and all services are aware then I really don't see the issue. What more can you possibly do! I'd go higher, ask to speak to the supervisors or managers with each of the MAPPA contacts you have. Put in writing your clear and concise plan, ask the person who was willing to rent the accommodation to your son a supporting statement, listing dates when he will expect your son not to be at the property, advise that your son will report in to the police each time etc. Highlight the dangers could increase if he is not rehomed in a supportive, safe and comfortable environment. Ask them to reconsider on this basis.
That's what I would try and do ....good luck lovely xxxc
That's what I would try and do ....good luck lovely xxxc
I don't know how it works with being released from prison but will he have a tracker on him? Again I know a horrendous thing but offering to wear one, sticking to curfews etc. Would that help I wonder?
We're damned if we do, damned if we don't! X
We're damned if we do, damned if we don't! X
Spoken to probation today and she was trying to tell me that the owners grandchildren visit regularly) he doesn't have grandchildren) and his gext door neighbours have young children who visit regularly (he doesn't have a next door neighbour! )
And she wouldn't listen to me when I was trying to tell that she has her facts wrong...
The land owner is going to try speaking to her but I'm worried that I'll have made things worse (have wondered for a while whether ds has the right probation officer as she doesn't seem to like dealing with him, from what he's said)
And she wouldn't listen to me when I was trying to tell that she has her facts wrong...
The land owner is going to try speaking to her but I'm worried that I'll have made things worse (have wondered for a while whether ds has the right probation officer as she doesn't seem to like dealing with him, from what he's said)
devastated mum,
What a nightmare! This must be so stressful for you. I'm so sorry. X
What a nightmare! This must be so stressful for you. I'm so sorry. X
Hi Devastated x
Hope you are ok, any update on a place for your son?xx
Hope you are ok, any update on a place for your son?xx
I would ask to speak to their supervisor or manager, clearly making decisions on incorrect information, not professional! X
No further forward. Don't know if landowner has spoken to probation (and don't want to keep hassling him because it's neither his fault or his problem)