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I'm not even sure that this forum is appropriate for my situation as my husband has not viewed images on line, but I can't find anywhere else to post.
My husband was cautioned for one incident of attempted voyeurism. He left the family home and now lives 250 miles away with his mum. He is not allowed unsupervised contact with our son and financially, until we sell the marital home, he can't afford to rent or buy a property nearby as his income has dropped significantly.
This happened more than 6 months ago. Our son seems to be coping well. He is 10 and we explained things to him. He is very settled in primary school but misses his dad and just wants us to be a family again.
I am so worried for him in the future. I can't get back with his dad, I just don't see how we could have a normal life ever again. I am worried because in a few months he will leave primary school, which has been a safe place for him and combined with this, he will have to move house and continue to deal with his parents' divorce.
I look back on the years when my life was normal and feel so sad. At the moment my son does seem to be coping. But I am so worried for the future.
My husband was cautioned for one incident of attempted voyeurism. He left the family home and now lives 250 miles away with his mum. He is not allowed unsupervised contact with our son and financially, until we sell the marital home, he can't afford to rent or buy a property nearby as his income has dropped significantly.
This happened more than 6 months ago. Our son seems to be coping well. He is 10 and we explained things to him. He is very settled in primary school but misses his dad and just wants us to be a family again.
I am so worried for him in the future. I can't get back with his dad, I just don't see how we could have a normal life ever again. I am worried because in a few months he will leave primary school, which has been a safe place for him and combined with this, he will have to move house and continue to deal with his parents' divorce.
I look back on the years when my life was normal and feel so sad. At the moment my son does seem to be coping. But I am so worried for the future.
Hi Meep,
Sorry to find you here, but you will get nothing but support from everyone. It's an emotional rollercoaster that's for sure.
I think as long as you stay strong for your son and keep talking to him he has the best chance to work his way through all these massive changes. I suppose I probably would advice you get your son a counsellor so that he can talk openly to someone. He may not want to worry you with his thoughts. Although you are divorcing, will you be able to facilitate some kind of relationship with his dad?
It's all so hard for everyone. Use the helpline as well, they are amazing and will have better advice than I can give.
Please keep visiting this forum, it has been such a godsend to so many of us. Xxx
Sorry to find you here, but you will get nothing but support from everyone. It's an emotional rollercoaster that's for sure.
I think as long as you stay strong for your son and keep talking to him he has the best chance to work his way through all these massive changes. I suppose I probably would advice you get your son a counsellor so that he can talk openly to someone. He may not want to worry you with his thoughts. Although you are divorcing, will you be able to facilitate some kind of relationship with his dad?
It's all so hard for everyone. Use the helpline as well, they are amazing and will have better advice than I can give.
Please keep visiting this forum, it has been such a godsend to so many of us. Xxx
Hi Keep, you are in the right place. Part of my husband's arrest was due to voyeurism but due to a police admin cock up he didn't get charged for this, only the online images he viewed. They are connected and there are wonderful people here to listen to you. You are more than welcome xxx
*meep
Wish we could edit our posts or view them properly before posting. Sorry! Xx
Wish we could edit our posts or view them properly before posting. Sorry! Xx
Thankyou for your replies.
I am currently facilitating contact with my my son's dad. He sleeps in the car when he comes to visit. Unfortunately visits cannot be very frequent as he now works weekends. However when he does manage to come, my son clearly enjoys the visits and things feel right having him aroun
I am currently facilitating contact with my my son's dad. He sleeps in the car when he comes to visit. Unfortunately visits cannot be very frequent as he now works weekends. However when he does manage to come, my son clearly enjoys the visits and things feel right having him aroun
Hi Meep
Ahh you are in a very difficult situation at the moment. It won't always be like this tho try to remember that.
Your husband sounds an excellent dad and has a really good relationship with his son and it is so positive your son is still seeing his dad.
Is your husband released under investigation?
I am keeping our family together despite what my partner has done. We have a 12 year old son who like your son has an excellent, close relationship with his dad. We are still waiting for the investigation to be complete. We don't have ss involved so it is easier.
Do you have any help & support near you?
Just take one day at a time, keep coming back here, it has helped me so much.
senind you hugs and best wishes
Mabel x x
Ahh you are in a very difficult situation at the moment. It won't always be like this tho try to remember that.
Your husband sounds an excellent dad and has a really good relationship with his son and it is so positive your son is still seeing his dad.
Is your husband released under investigation?
I am keeping our family together despite what my partner has done. We have a 12 year old son who like your son has an excellent, close relationship with his dad. We are still waiting for the investigation to be complete. We don't have ss involved so it is easier.
Do you have any help & support near you?
Just take one day at a time, keep coming back here, it has helped me so much.
senind you hugs and best wishes
Mabel x x
I am really pleased you are able to stay a family.
MMy husband is not under investigation now, he was for four months but then accepted a caution for his offence, which was opening the toilet door of the ladies toilets after a little girl had gone in. He didn't go into the toilets but could offer no explanation of why he opened the door.
I still can't believe it.
MMy husband is not under investigation now, he was for four months but then accepted a caution for his offence, which was opening the toilet door of the ladies toilets after a little girl had gone in. He didn't go into the toilets but could offer no explanation of why he opened the door.
I still can't believe it.
Hi again Meep
I know it is so hard to understand why these men have done what they have, there are so many reasons behind it. Before it happened to me I would never have believed I could be understanding of what these men do, but I am now.
Try and focus on that he is a good person and a very good dad despite what he's done.
This does not define him.
You could ring the helpline for more understanding on his behaviour.
Just try and focus on the here and now, today, that has helped me so much and that is so good you have kept up the relationship between him and your son, that is so positive.
Keep coming back here there are so many good understanding people with good advice.
sending big hugs
Mabel x x
I know it is so hard to understand why these men have done what they have, there are so many reasons behind it. Before it happened to me I would never have believed I could be understanding of what these men do, but I am now.
Try and focus on that he is a good person and a very good dad despite what he's done.
This does not define him.
You could ring the helpline for more understanding on his behaviour.
Just try and focus on the here and now, today, that has helped me so much and that is so good you have kept up the relationship between him and your son, that is so positive.
Keep coming back here there are so many good understanding people with good advice.
sending big hugs
Mabel x x