Birth plan
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Hi,
would anyone that's had experience having a baby whilst their partner is under investigation or been convicted of an online offence against children mind sharing their birth experiences?
My OH is on the SOR and has a SHPO with no contact restrictions, purely online only.
The unborn is on a CPP and at Preproceedings, purely to fund the risk assessments.
We've had our risk assessments back and they deem my OH as low risk of sexual harm, no predatory characteristics and not an imminent harm to children. But the safeguarding midwife hasn't changed the birth plan at all. They want my OH to only be present when in established labour (so if I'm induced, which it's looking like I could be if I go over my due date given my previous miscarriage at 21 weeks). They want him to be supervised at all times with a staff member. He can stay for 2 hours after the birth but supervised. Then if he wants to visit, it has to be within visiting hours and with my mother. At our hospital, partners are allowed to be with the mother and baby the whole time.
They have said if I birth on a Friday after 5pm- weekend, I have to stay in hospital until a discharge planning meeting has taken place despite the plans being for baby to come home with me. I've also found guidance saying this can be done before in a core group but they're ignoring this.
The amount of information on the birth plan that can be seen by anyone in the hospital feels extremely unnecessary too.
For my miscarriage, there were no restrictions and we were treated like normal people.
would anyone that's had experience having a baby whilst their partner is under investigation or been convicted of an online offence against children mind sharing their birth experiences?
My OH is on the SOR and has a SHPO with no contact restrictions, purely online only.
The unborn is on a CPP and at Preproceedings, purely to fund the risk assessments.
We've had our risk assessments back and they deem my OH as low risk of sexual harm, no predatory characteristics and not an imminent harm to children. But the safeguarding midwife hasn't changed the birth plan at all. They want my OH to only be present when in established labour (so if I'm induced, which it's looking like I could be if I go over my due date given my previous miscarriage at 21 weeks). They want him to be supervised at all times with a staff member. He can stay for 2 hours after the birth but supervised. Then if he wants to visit, it has to be within visiting hours and with my mother. At our hospital, partners are allowed to be with the mother and baby the whole time.
They have said if I birth on a Friday after 5pm- weekend, I have to stay in hospital until a discharge planning meeting has taken place despite the plans being for baby to come home with me. I've also found guidance saying this can be done before in a core group but they're ignoring this.
The amount of information on the birth plan that can be seen by anyone in the hospital feels extremely unnecessary too.
For my miscarriage, there were no restrictions and we were treated like normal people.
Hi,
no lived experience as my partner wasn't present at the birth. You could contact your sw with an alternative birth plan addressing some of the things you've raised in your post. I would perhaps propose changes to visiting by asking for a side room if one is available. Your partner should be allowed to be under your supervision if that is permitted by ss. You could suggest that the hours are slightly reduced from the all day visits to allow you to rest. Your sw can also email the safeguarding midwife to say that baby can be discharged to your care so if you give birth and are both fit to leave the hospital then you can do so without a discharge meeting. I hope you manage to make the changes and that everything goes well xxx
no lived experience as my partner wasn't present at the birth. You could contact your sw with an alternative birth plan addressing some of the things you've raised in your post. I would perhaps propose changes to visiting by asking for a side room if one is available. Your partner should be allowed to be under your supervision if that is permitted by ss. You could suggest that the hours are slightly reduced from the all day visits to allow you to rest. Your sw can also email the safeguarding midwife to say that baby can be discharged to your care so if you give birth and are both fit to leave the hospital then you can do so without a discharge meeting. I hope you manage to make the changes and that everything goes well xxx
The safeguarding midwife has a duty to protect all within the hospital. There will be other newborn babies, and older siblings visiting, using facilities etc. Hospitals sometimes have a blanket ban of sex offenders so I am pleased to read you will be allowed your partner with you.
My partner was allowed at birth as long as he was supervised by a family member, and during visiting hours along with a family member, others were permitted the stay the night.
My partner was allowed at birth as long as he was supervised by a family member, and during visiting hours along with a family member, others were permitted the stay the night.
Hi yes flower is right the hospital have to think about other kids on the ward and have duty of care to protect them I don't know it it's possible if you can ask for your own room they did that with my son when he had is oapration he wanted his dad to be there so we had our own room so no one else was at risk and he was always with some one like me . It must be a tuff time and very hard I can image is your partner allowed to come home after birth or they haven't said anything yet .
I'm a Nana and it's my son who's offended BUT I am so sad for all you lovely mums-to-be or those who have had your babes already, and also for the dads who because of their stupid STUPID mistakes and loss of their moral compass, or even something more 'troubling' than that, now have a huge emotional stress at a time which should be joyous and binding. I want to wish for you all that out of these ashes you can still find sparks of life and the miracle of new birth as you welcome your little one into this world xx
When my daughter was born we was 7 months in to bail under investigation and SS was not present in our life's at the time, so we had to report to the POC, who noted that he was allowed to be at the birth as long as there was an adult over 18 present at all times. When I asked when SS was going to be involved I was told they was aware and would be in touch soon. My LG was 3 1/2 months when SS got involved and then there was a massive blame game which we won't talk about (SS blamed POC and visa versa). However POC said that he was allowed to be there as long as he was watched basically, and that's what happened. I was to have a scheduled CSec, however in the end had an emergency so was all pretty crazy and then we was in hospital for 2 1/2 weeks and no one ever mentioned anything to us, just has POC check in on the situation.
Sorry not much help. But hope your birth goes well. Xx
Sorry not much help. But hope your birth goes well. Xx
Thank you for the replies. Had a reviewed birth planning meeting now we have a safety plan agreed. Thank goodness baby didn't arrive early.
My OH can be with me at the hospital now at all times regardless of whether I'm induced / in established labour or not. I can supervise, I don't have to have another family member or staff member supervising aswell. I just get to be in a side room for the whole time instead of being on the maternity ward with all the other mums (which actually I'd prefer!).
I can be in the birth centre or delivery suite if I decide to be induced and they'll try to keep the side room with the birthing pool free.
Given my history with my miscarriage, they'll also do discharge meeting before if I go into hospital say next Friday and still haven't birthed, so I don't have to stay in until the Monday. I can go once medically fit to.
The only differences to a normal labour experience is ensuring I follow the safety plan so my OH just has to go into the en-suite whilst I'm doing any personal care of baby and if I'm sleepy, he either has to go home or I ask another family member to come in and support / supervise whilst I rest.
My OH can be with me at the hospital now at all times regardless of whether I'm induced / in established labour or not. I can supervise, I don't have to have another family member or staff member supervising aswell. I just get to be in a side room for the whole time instead of being on the maternity ward with all the other mums (which actually I'd prefer!).
I can be in the birth centre or delivery suite if I decide to be induced and they'll try to keep the side room with the birthing pool free.
Given my history with my miscarriage, they'll also do discharge meeting before if I go into hospital say next Friday and still haven't birthed, so I don't have to stay in until the Monday. I can go once medically fit to.
The only differences to a normal labour experience is ensuring I follow the safety plan so my OH just has to go into the en-suite whilst I'm doing any personal care of baby and if I'm sleepy, he either has to go home or I ask another family member to come in and support / supervise whilst I rest.
That seems like it went well and everything within the plan is fair and measured. I wish you all the very best for the birth xxx