Help!!
Notifications OFF
My husband was arrested a week before Christmas on suspicion of arranging to meet a minor. His devices were seized and he was realised under investigation later that day. I was totally in shock, we have two children under 5 so it's meant SS are now involved. He is claiming complete innocence (it was not linked to our home IP address) and has said categorically it is not him and nothing will be found on his devices. No restrictions have been put in with regards to our children, phone internet ect apart from SS saying he cannot be alone with the children or do baths ect but he is currently still fine to live here with us. My issue is I'm struggling to come to terms with it all or what to believe. He has reassured me everything will be fine but I'm.so worried for our family's future and I've no idea how long this could go on for. I don't want to.be sat her next Christmas with no outcome. It's been the Christmas from hell and I've no one to talk to.
Hi Fairytree.
I'm so sorry you have joined this club of ours. No one wants to be here, however on the positive, you are now amongst a bunch of fabulous, understanding, non judgemental friends. Firstly, breathe. Your emotions will be all over the place. Like you, my ex claims innocence. Plenty of people are not innocent, many are, many people stay with their partners, some don't. Don't make any decisions. Take one day at a time. No decisions have to be made. Concentrate on yourself. Don't overthink. It's normal to feel as you do. This is livable. Whatever the outcome. I was in your position 6 months ago. I never thought I'd make it a week. Please reach out on here anytime you need to. We are all here for you. Xxx
I'm so sorry you have joined this club of ours. No one wants to be here, however on the positive, you are now amongst a bunch of fabulous, understanding, non judgemental friends. Firstly, breathe. Your emotions will be all over the place. Like you, my ex claims innocence. Plenty of people are not innocent, many are, many people stay with their partners, some don't. Don't make any decisions. Take one day at a time. No decisions have to be made. Concentrate on yourself. Don't overthink. It's normal to feel as you do. This is livable. Whatever the outcome. I was in your position 6 months ago. I never thought I'd make it a week. Please reach out on here anytime you need to. We are all here for you. Xxx
Hi fairytree,
my biggest piece of advice is just try to take each day as it comes. Try and do something positive daily whether it be walking, exercise etc. There will be waves of emotions but all this is very normal. You are definitely not alone and one thing that has surprised from this experience is how many of us are actually out there! You've got this so stay strong ????
my biggest piece of advice is just try to take each day as it comes. Try and do something positive daily whether it be walking, exercise etc. There will be waves of emotions but all this is very normal. You are definitely not alone and one thing that has surprised from this experience is how many of us are actually out there! You've got this so stay strong ????
Hi fairytree
Our situations are similar in that my partner denies what he is accused of we also have 2 kids under 3 baby was 5 months when we got the knock and my parter also has the same restrictions such as no personal care or extended insupervised contact. I can only ditto what other ladies have said take it day by day and look after yourself and your children. Make sure ss know your children are your priority they don't want to hear you believe your hubby and he is no risk. I like many others have decided not to make any desisions over things. We are just enjoy the time and help make memories with the kids. Unfortunately as you will read there are no timescales and no standards with regards to charging processes sentencing and children's sevices.Please keep coming back we are here to support each other xx
Our situations are similar in that my partner denies what he is accused of we also have 2 kids under 3 baby was 5 months when we got the knock and my parter also has the same restrictions such as no personal care or extended insupervised contact. I can only ditto what other ladies have said take it day by day and look after yourself and your children. Make sure ss know your children are your priority they don't want to hear you believe your hubby and he is no risk. I like many others have decided not to make any desisions over things. We are just enjoy the time and help make memories with the kids. Unfortunately as you will read there are no timescales and no standards with regards to charging processes sentencing and children's sevices.Please keep coming back we are here to support each other xx
Hi Fairytree
so sorry you are having to use this forum. You must be in a state of shock - bringing up 2 kids under 5 is hard enough as it is without this on top. I know it is really hard but try not to fast forward your life too far at the moment. Nobody knows what the future will bring so there is no point trying to guess.
as far as whether he is guilty of this or not, you may be the one who is in the best position to guess as you probably know him the best. Having said that, some partners have kept secrets for lots of reasons and then deny doing anything out of shame. I know it’s hard with little ones around, but try and find time to have some deep and meaningful talks. Perhaps let him know that if there is any truth in the allegations the only chance you have as a couple is if he is completely honest with you.
on this forum you will find women who have partners who have denied it all but have found to have lied, those who have admitted their guilt right away and those who have denied it and have been found to be telling the truth. Some of us have stayed with our partners, some have left. We have all supported each other, whatever our decisions and stories. People have lots of experience on here with the legal system, with therapy, with social services. Keep coming back as there is usually someone who can support you somehow, even if it is just through a virtual hug x
so sorry you are having to use this forum. You must be in a state of shock - bringing up 2 kids under 5 is hard enough as it is without this on top. I know it is really hard but try not to fast forward your life too far at the moment. Nobody knows what the future will bring so there is no point trying to guess.
as far as whether he is guilty of this or not, you may be the one who is in the best position to guess as you probably know him the best. Having said that, some partners have kept secrets for lots of reasons and then deny doing anything out of shame. I know it’s hard with little ones around, but try and find time to have some deep and meaningful talks. Perhaps let him know that if there is any truth in the allegations the only chance you have as a couple is if he is completely honest with you.
on this forum you will find women who have partners who have denied it all but have found to have lied, those who have admitted their guilt right away and those who have denied it and have been found to be telling the truth. Some of us have stayed with our partners, some have left. We have all supported each other, whatever our decisions and stories. People have lots of experience on here with the legal system, with therapy, with social services. Keep coming back as there is usually someone who can support you somehow, even if it is just through a virtual hug x
So sorry that you've joined us here Fairytree123. I've found this forum to be a great place to vent and share my worries and concerns. I do have friends that I confide in too, but no-one truly understands the devastation unless you are going/have gone through the experience. Keep strong! xxx
Thanks all. In trying to stay as positive as I can and as normal as I can for the children but it's harder now Christmas is over and my husband has returned to work (this is where the alleged conversation took place). He's miserable and says he doesn't feel safe at work anymore, I'm a stay at home mum Nd to top it all off the day after he was arrested his grandfather died so we now have his funeral next week. We've got another visit from SS next week and she wants to speak to us both seperatley as so far it's been the both of us present but I'm nervous. I've no idea what it's for this time as we've already seen her twice in 2 weeks and although our social worker seems nice I hate having her in pur home as home has always felt safe and now it's all a bit tainted. Can I ask how long everyone's been in limbo for? Husband says it'll all be over in a couple of months but I'm trying to prepare him and myself for it to take much much longer. X
We are 6 months post knock. Still under investigation. Still on bail
No charge as yet. Xx
No charge as yet. Xx
We are 16months post knock just got the charges through the post and waiting till 16th for the first court appearance.thats the plea hearing.