Angry all of the time
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Hi. I'm new to the forum. I've joined because 4 months ago we got the knock on the door, arrest and now the whirlwind and uncharted waters of the whole process and emotions that come with it. I have told the children and I sought support from my sister, but as a result of that, I know have a son in law who never wants to see my husband again and a sister who feels the same. I am angry all of the time about the disruption to our family because of his actions and I'm really struggling to find a small bit of love for this man I married. I'm so sad and confused.
Is that how it feels for those in the same situation as me? Will it ever get better?
Is that how it feels for those in the same situation as me? Will it ever get better?
I think everyone on here will agree with me in saying thats exactly how it feels. All the love for the person is still their it cant just suddenly be switched off, mixed with disgust at what they have done or may have done along with anxiety about what will happen next. To say were conflicted is I think an understatment.
Just remember theres no right way to feel about this and conversly no wrong way to feel about it either. How you feel will change day to day and even hour by hour.
I'm sorry that your sister and BiL are not being as supportive as you need, I've been fortunate in that respect with my family. They will probably be finding this difficult to come to terms with as well but there views on the situation may change in the future.
Will things improve over time? Yes, but even then some days will be harder than others. I'm three months in (four if you include the failed first knock) and I thought I was just starting to pull everything togeter and then end of Febuary it hit me again like a ton of bricks.
Just remember theres no right way to feel about this and conversly no wrong way to feel about it either. How you feel will change day to day and even hour by hour.
I'm sorry that your sister and BiL are not being as supportive as you need, I've been fortunate in that respect with my family. They will probably be finding this difficult to come to terms with as well but there views on the situation may change in the future.
Will things improve over time? Yes, but even then some days will be harder than others. I'm three months in (four if you include the failed first knock) and I thought I was just starting to pull everything togeter and then end of Febuary it hit me again like a ton of bricks.
We aren't living together but I keep having lovely evenings with my person, then having this horrible jarring anguish when I remember what they've done to young girls, and by extension to me and the children. Of course I have lovely evenings with them - they're funny, kind, self deprecating and all those other charming characteristics. But they're also excellent and manipulation, deceit, garnering pity and sympathy, and being entirely self absorbed, as I now know.
whenever anyone posts on here that they got an NFA or caution, or other positive outcome that lets them 'move on' a bit, I find myself wondering how I would feel if that was 'our' outcome. It won't be. But what if? Would I feel differently about him?
I don't think so. He's betrayed 22 years of love and trust, and the trust of his beautiful children, and behave despicably towards vulnerable girls online. Ugh.
sorry for ranting... <3
whenever anyone posts on here that they got an NFA or caution, or other positive outcome that lets them 'move on' a bit, I find myself wondering how I would feel if that was 'our' outcome. It won't be. But what if? Would I feel differently about him?
I don't think so. He's betrayed 22 years of love and trust, and the trust of his beautiful children, and behave despicably towards vulnerable girls online. Ugh.
sorry for ranting... <3
This process can be similar to the grief phases. Anger is very much part of it but for me, 8 years on and going through this for a second time, my feeling is profound and enduring sadness. The anger is still their sometimes but maybe not like it used to be. You're still very much in the initial stages of the this very long journey. I'm disappointed on your behalf shot the reaction from family members who should jolly well be there to support you. I know from experience that people generally do not react favourably and often think they know exactly what they would do in this situation. They don't. No clue. X