Worry for my sons mental health
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Despite this horrible thing hanging over us recent weeks have been ok mostly but at weekend my son had big meltdown to point I do worry for is mental health. He's only 16 so feel this meltdown could be down to hormones but feel the unknown in our situation is also impacting.
He doesn't talk about his emotions, he was bullied at school since primary and that resulted in going to camhs but he would never engage. During the recent meltdown he did say more about being bullied in secondary school.
Our thoughts are we came into this situation because something happened at school potentially with Snapchat. But the police won't even give us a yes or no answer that it is related to school. He no longer sees anyone from school and we even changed his mobile number. Just feel if we knew then this process would be little easier to deal with.
During his meltdown that started over something trivia he was really horrible how he spoke to me. But what hurts now is he no longer wants a hug saying he doesn't like them. I just want to hold him and take his pain and anxiety away.
He doesn't talk about his emotions, he was bullied at school since primary and that resulted in going to camhs but he would never engage. During the recent meltdown he did say more about being bullied in secondary school.
Our thoughts are we came into this situation because something happened at school potentially with Snapchat. But the police won't even give us a yes or no answer that it is related to school. He no longer sees anyone from school and we even changed his mobile number. Just feel if we knew then this process would be little easier to deal with.
During his meltdown that started over something trivia he was really horrible how he spoke to me. But what hurts now is he no longer wants a hug saying he doesn't like them. I just want to hold him and take his pain and anxiety away.
It's so so hard watching your child suffering and struggling and knowing there is nothing you can do to take that pain away. Your son knows you love him and I'm sure doesn't want to hurt you but his emotions will surface and at times overspill.
I'm sorry you have unanswered questions, the reasons why our sons find themselves in the situation they are in can be so complicated and deep. So many times I've wished I could turn the clock back to the start of my sons teenager years but I've now come to realise that it's the looking forward that matters and not looking back.
Sending you strength and a big hug and resilience to keep going.
I'm sorry you have unanswered questions, the reasons why our sons find themselves in the situation they are in can be so complicated and deep. So many times I've wished I could turn the clock back to the start of my sons teenager years but I've now come to realise that it's the looking forward that matters and not looking back.
Sending you strength and a big hug and resilience to keep going.
It's horrendous isn't it? Especially at such a pivotal time in their young lives.
I'm trying to just hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Beyond that, I try not to focus too much on the actual police stuff because until we know exactly what we're dealing with, I'm not really sure what to think/do/make of it.
Is your son able to keep doing any of the things he enjoyed before the knock? Hobbies or things he enjoys?
I think talking therapies can be really hard for teenage boys to engage with at the best of times - would he maybe try one of the text services? Might feel less daunting but still give him an outlet.
Of course he might just be far too scared to talk/open up at this point which is really understandable. Given the circumstances and the unknowns about timescales etc - distraction might be the most helpful option in the short term - is there a hobby/project that might engage him?
Redecorating his bedroom? Learning an instrument? Perfecting a favourite recipe - a fake away? Starting a collection of something etc etc. These might not be the best examples, but something that might give him something to really focus on but without the pressure of peers/meeting new people if that's too much
X
I'm trying to just hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Beyond that, I try not to focus too much on the actual police stuff because until we know exactly what we're dealing with, I'm not really sure what to think/do/make of it.
Is your son able to keep doing any of the things he enjoyed before the knock? Hobbies or things he enjoys?
I think talking therapies can be really hard for teenage boys to engage with at the best of times - would he maybe try one of the text services? Might feel less daunting but still give him an outlet.
Of course he might just be far too scared to talk/open up at this point which is really understandable. Given the circumstances and the unknowns about timescales etc - distraction might be the most helpful option in the short term - is there a hobby/project that might engage him?
Redecorating his bedroom? Learning an instrument? Perfecting a favourite recipe - a fake away? Starting a collection of something etc etc. These might not be the best examples, but something that might give him something to really focus on but without the pressure of peers/meeting new people if that's too much
X
It's certainly a horrible time, I was distraught to see everyone turn against my son, to not hear his laughter and to see only pain in his eyes.
I just want to offer you a hand of understanding- just be there for him, it's such a lonely time for everyone x hugs x
I just want to offer you a hand of understanding- just be there for him, it's such a lonely time for everyone x hugs x
Thank you everyone.
@Starr we had thought of redecorating his bedroom and getting a different bed simply because since the knock last July he no longer sleeps in his bed. At first he would sleep on floor so his head was st the door. Think to be close to us because our room is next to his.
I just hate seeing him so low.
@Starr we had thought of redecorating his bedroom and getting a different bed simply because since the knock last July he no longer sleeps in his bed. At first he would sleep on floor so his head was st the door. Think to be close to us because our room is next to his.
I just hate seeing him so low.
Hi Ajustcopingparent,
My son asked me if he was still our son when the knock happened. Heartbreaking. Four years after the know we are waiting to see what is going to happen next. His case was only referred to the DPP last October. That was 3 years after the knock.
My heart goes out to you and your son. It is a waiting game.
Stay strong
My son asked me if he was still our son when the knock happened. Heartbreaking. Four years after the know we are waiting to see what is going to happen next. His case was only referred to the DPP last October. That was 3 years after the knock.
My heart goes out to you and your son. It is a waiting game.
Stay strong
It's ridiculous how long these cases take and I get the under staffing and high number of cases but like in my sons case if nothing comes back on the devices then it's case closed. But the damage is already done. This is why I wish they would give us some idea of how he's linked to accessing this stuff. The police haven't replied to my email so again that makes me wonder is my theory is right to it being school and Snapchat. Then if my son reported to Snapchat stuff that was accepted as violation is it what someone sent him. I woke in night thinking about all this.