Overwhelmed
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I am really struggling. It's only been a couple of weeks since the knock. My whole world just turning upside down. Trying to keep things as normal as possible for child but that is such a challenge with bail conditions that have been set for my OH.
I have so many questions, worries... that I don't really know where to start. Just a normal everyday family and then in a blink of an eye police, house search, social workers.... it's all quite daunting and a lot is now falling on me. The family who know are trying to be there for us all, but I feel at times their concen and checking in just makes me feel more overwhelmed.
He has been accused of having conversations that are innapropriate about minors. He swears blind he hasn't done anything, and I do believe him but at times I'm just so scared with it all, and trying to be strong I do overthink and over analyse everything. Police say messages came from the home IP address so that's the evidence as such. He still swears he didn't do it. Messages were through Kik which I have seen lots of posts about. It is an app he had but says he did not use.
He believes his phone has been hacked as he had massive issues with his phone around the time these messages were allegedly sent. The stress of it all is having an impact on us and I struggle some days to see how we get through this nightmare. I read online that phones can be hacked and appear to be from home IP address, but I don't know if this is something you could prove? Is this something they even look for or consider? Or is it a case of computer says yes so must be true. I'm just so lost and confused and don't know what to think half the time.
The length of time and the unknown of it all is the thing I find hardest. Struggling to see light at the end of the tunnel.
I have so many questions, worries... that I don't really know where to start. Just a normal everyday family and then in a blink of an eye police, house search, social workers.... it's all quite daunting and a lot is now falling on me. The family who know are trying to be there for us all, but I feel at times their concen and checking in just makes me feel more overwhelmed.
He has been accused of having conversations that are innapropriate about minors. He swears blind he hasn't done anything, and I do believe him but at times I'm just so scared with it all, and trying to be strong I do overthink and over analyse everything. Police say messages came from the home IP address so that's the evidence as such. He still swears he didn't do it. Messages were through Kik which I have seen lots of posts about. It is an app he had but says he did not use.
He believes his phone has been hacked as he had massive issues with his phone around the time these messages were allegedly sent. The stress of it all is having an impact on us and I struggle some days to see how we get through this nightmare. I read online that phones can be hacked and appear to be from home IP address, but I don't know if this is something you could prove? Is this something they even look for or consider? Or is it a case of computer says yes so must be true. I'm just so lost and confused and don't know what to think half the time.
The length of time and the unknown of it all is the thing I find hardest. Struggling to see light at the end of the tunnel.
Hello,
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends Forum. We wanted to contribute to your thread as it seems you have not received a response just yet, but we hope that some of our Forum users will be able to respond to offer you some support soon. Our Forum is quite active, so occasionally posts may be missed, but we encourage you to check in frequently for a reply, as responses often come in with time.
In the meantime, if you have not already reached out, I would gently encourage you to contact our Stop It Now helpline. It is a free, confidential, and anonymous service available on 0808 1000 900. Our trained advisors are there to listen, explore your situation with you, and provide tailored support. You can find more information about the helpline and chat service, as well as our opening hours here.
We hope that someone will respond to your post soon, so that you can receive some support from our Forum users.
Take care,
The Forum Team
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends Forum. We wanted to contribute to your thread as it seems you have not received a response just yet, but we hope that some of our Forum users will be able to respond to offer you some support soon. Our Forum is quite active, so occasionally posts may be missed, but we encourage you to check in frequently for a reply, as responses often come in with time.
In the meantime, if you have not already reached out, I would gently encourage you to contact our Stop It Now helpline. It is a free, confidential, and anonymous service available on 0808 1000 900. Our trained advisors are there to listen, explore your situation with you, and provide tailored support. You can find more information about the helpline and chat service, as well as our opening hours here.
We hope that someone will respond to your post soon, so that you can receive some support from our Forum users.
Take care,
The Forum Team
Hello Confused,
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It's heartbreaking. I'm 20 months in and it does get easier. My husband was on kik and claimed that he had been hacked. It was a lie. While very remotely possible, I can't think of a single story where the person ended up proving they were hacked.
So I am going to tell you what I wish I had done in the early days. 1. Tell him that the truth will come out in forensics and that lying to you now will only make it so so much worse. Beg him to be honest with you. 2. Let him know there is life ahead, his kids need him and to get help for his mental health if needed. The truth is some men harm themselves instead of facing what they've done.
Please take care of yourself and your family
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It's heartbreaking. I'm 20 months in and it does get easier. My husband was on kik and claimed that he had been hacked. It was a lie. While very remotely possible, I can't think of a single story where the person ended up proving they were hacked.
So I am going to tell you what I wish I had done in the early days. 1. Tell him that the truth will come out in forensics and that lying to you now will only make it so so much worse. Beg him to be honest with you. 2. Let him know there is life ahead, his kids need him and to get help for his mental health if needed. The truth is some men harm themselves instead of facing what they've done.
Please take care of yourself and your family