Article from Sky News - TRIGGER WARNING
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TRIGGER WARNING - self harm and sexual abuse.
This was on Sky News today. Its sickening and very very real. One of my children was persuaded online to self harm following our persons arrest and eventual incarceration. They are covered in scars all over their body. I have no idea how we manage this as parents particularly when our children are aged 16+. At one point I thought about taking their mobile phone away. I was told by the safeguarding lead of the school that I should not as that was tantamount to child abuse. I disagree strongly and definitely think mobiles should not be allowed in schools at all, not even on the way to and from. A Nokia brick is good enough. The Government have backed down on pushing for this to become legislation in the online safety bill which is very disappointing.
https://news.sky.com/story/sadism-sexual-abuse-and-self-harm-inside-the-online-gangs-where-boys-compete-to-be-cruel-13335183
This was on Sky News today. Its sickening and very very real. One of my children was persuaded online to self harm following our persons arrest and eventual incarceration. They are covered in scars all over their body. I have no idea how we manage this as parents particularly when our children are aged 16+. At one point I thought about taking their mobile phone away. I was told by the safeguarding lead of the school that I should not as that was tantamount to child abuse. I disagree strongly and definitely think mobiles should not be allowed in schools at all, not even on the way to and from. A Nokia brick is good enough. The Government have backed down on pushing for this to become legislation in the online safety bill which is very disappointing.
https://news.sky.com/story/sadism-sexual-abuse-and-self-harm-inside-the-online-gangs-where-boys-compete-to-be-cruel-13335183
Jesus Christ. I just read the news article you shared Little Robin. What the hell is wrong with people?? I'm more and more convinced that on the whole the Internet is a good thing, but its also the worst thing to happen to the human race. I've also been listening to a podcast by a UK based charity run organisation dedicated to finding and removing CSAM. Its been horribly triggering, but I felt like I had to listen to help me understand more. In one of the episodes they mention Meta applying end to end encryption for Messenger, meaning that people can message each other about all sorts of depraved content, and Meta won't be able to take responsibility for it.
Somedays I'm so tempted to just go off grid and ignore the world, and all I need to worry about is my veg crop and having enough wood for the fire.
Somedays I'm so tempted to just go off grid and ignore the world, and all I need to worry about is my veg crop and having enough wood for the fire.
I'm so dissapointed there is no legislation going through for this. There's only so long parents can hold off keeping social media and the internet out of our kids hands and upping all the parental controls. We can't keep them safe on our own-not even from themselves or from our own loved ones who have brought us to this forum. Yes people need to take personal responsibility and be punished for breaking the law but when it's so rife and easily accessible it's not really helping the problem is it? In most cases our people arent going out of their way to find this stuff and the reporting isn't for for purpose as it doesn't encourage people to report.
If we're ever really going to be able to tackle this; it needs to come from all sides. Addressing men's online behaviour with the men and society, protecting our kids by teaching them about internet safety and consequences (which schools are doing and some parents have a good handle on with parental controls etc) but it also needs better legislation and action from those responsible for setting up the accounts and responsible for the platforms. Much better reporting. I've reported lots of threatening and bullying or uncomfortable comments and photos on social media and all you get is "this hasn't broken our standards but you can block them. If you like". If I try sell something online or put a video up on social media and I don't ensure I mark it as an ad, I copyright something Disney or put music on in the background that I don't have rights to......they're straight on your back telling you to take it down. You can't tell me the functionality isn't there for some of the online offences we by extension of our loved ones get dragged into that we see every day in this forum. Yes our people have done wrong, and I'm not condoning or minimising their behaviour or even comparing like with like but for every other serious crime it just has more sensible and practical processes and support in place; look at speeding; you can kill someone and cause serious harm....but we don't just rely on speedometers in cars and one driving test to let people know the rules. We restrict the age people are alllowed to drive, there are speed signs on every road, a theory and practical test, you have to have insurance which is affected by any previous cautions, people can protect themselves with black boxes and dash camera in their cars. We have speed cameras and speed bumps to deter people, as well as points on your licence and fines and driving awareness courses if you're caught. This deters and controls most of the population from stepping out of line with more serious penalties in place for repeat offenders and the scale of the issue. There's no valid excuse for saying you didn't know; because everyone knows the rules.
Wonen on here who have been victims of online or in person abuse like SA, or revenge porn; it's too hard to prosecute and removed. I remember being trapped by an older man when I was a teen by a person of responsibility in a public place and genuinely feeling my life was threatened by this adult man's behaviour and nobody took it seriously it wasn't "worth reporting" yet I'm willing to bet this man went on to repeat this or do worse. I only ever brought it up years later as an adult when the #metoo discussions were ongoing.
Something needs to change because the current system isn't working. We're all testament to that. It needs more efficient and more widely applicable for these crimes because the evidence just isn't there to suppport that every man who ever looks at porn ends up involved with masses of all category iioc instantly becomes an online predator and definitely always attempts to commit real life contact offences. The waiting times and process is becoming unmanageable and cruel for the families. It's also going to completely clog the system from a CPS/police investigation and criminal justice point of view and add to the complicated experiences many of us with kids have had with overworked and underfunded/inadequately trained children's services/social services teams. It's at breaking point and more is needed. I do not want other families to go through this. The impact on the families is horrible and we haven't done anything wrong. As the courageous Giselle Pelicotvhas said "shame must change sides" we are victims but the system and taboo of this offending often makes us feel like we're treated as accomplices.
Soneone needs to lead the call for "we must do better" and this would have been the perfect place to kick start that. I just hope more positive action comes from these conversations. Maybe someone needs to make an "adolescence" series from our experiences.
If we're ever really going to be able to tackle this; it needs to come from all sides. Addressing men's online behaviour with the men and society, protecting our kids by teaching them about internet safety and consequences (which schools are doing and some parents have a good handle on with parental controls etc) but it also needs better legislation and action from those responsible for setting up the accounts and responsible for the platforms. Much better reporting. I've reported lots of threatening and bullying or uncomfortable comments and photos on social media and all you get is "this hasn't broken our standards but you can block them. If you like". If I try sell something online or put a video up on social media and I don't ensure I mark it as an ad, I copyright something Disney or put music on in the background that I don't have rights to......they're straight on your back telling you to take it down. You can't tell me the functionality isn't there for some of the online offences we by extension of our loved ones get dragged into that we see every day in this forum. Yes our people have done wrong, and I'm not condoning or minimising their behaviour or even comparing like with like but for every other serious crime it just has more sensible and practical processes and support in place; look at speeding; you can kill someone and cause serious harm....but we don't just rely on speedometers in cars and one driving test to let people know the rules. We restrict the age people are alllowed to drive, there are speed signs on every road, a theory and practical test, you have to have insurance which is affected by any previous cautions, people can protect themselves with black boxes and dash camera in their cars. We have speed cameras and speed bumps to deter people, as well as points on your licence and fines and driving awareness courses if you're caught. This deters and controls most of the population from stepping out of line with more serious penalties in place for repeat offenders and the scale of the issue. There's no valid excuse for saying you didn't know; because everyone knows the rules.
Wonen on here who have been victims of online or in person abuse like SA, or revenge porn; it's too hard to prosecute and removed. I remember being trapped by an older man when I was a teen by a person of responsibility in a public place and genuinely feeling my life was threatened by this adult man's behaviour and nobody took it seriously it wasn't "worth reporting" yet I'm willing to bet this man went on to repeat this or do worse. I only ever brought it up years later as an adult when the #metoo discussions were ongoing.
Something needs to change because the current system isn't working. We're all testament to that. It needs more efficient and more widely applicable for these crimes because the evidence just isn't there to suppport that every man who ever looks at porn ends up involved with masses of all category iioc instantly becomes an online predator and definitely always attempts to commit real life contact offences. The waiting times and process is becoming unmanageable and cruel for the families. It's also going to completely clog the system from a CPS/police investigation and criminal justice point of view and add to the complicated experiences many of us with kids have had with overworked and underfunded/inadequately trained children's services/social services teams. It's at breaking point and more is needed. I do not want other families to go through this. The impact on the families is horrible and we haven't done anything wrong. As the courageous Giselle Pelicotvhas said "shame must change sides" we are victims but the system and taboo of this offending often makes us feel like we're treated as accomplices.
Soneone needs to lead the call for "we must do better" and this would have been the perfect place to kick start that. I just hope more positive action comes from these conversations. Maybe someone needs to make an "adolescence" series from our experiences.
Poppet
Could you message me the details of the podcast please? Thanks.
Could you message me the details of the podcast please? Thanks.
We wouldn't drop our children off in the middle of London day and night on their own and tell them to get on with it because we're aware of the multitude of dangers. Yet most parents allow children, including young children unfiltered access to the internet via a smartphone in their pockets 24/7. I simply don't get it. I didn't get it before all this happened to me and I don't get it now.
Holdingthegrenade
Legislation is going through for this. The online safety act has still not been implemented, but should be by July. Age verification is the key I think.
As soon as people realise they have to give personal details to access many of these things, it should deter a lot of them.
The most determined offenders will always find a way around it, but for children especially, it should block their access.
Legislation is going through for this. The online safety act has still not been implemented, but should be by July. Age verification is the key I think.
As soon as people realise they have to give personal details to access many of these things, it should deter a lot of them.
The most determined offenders will always find a way around it, but for children especially, it should block their access.
There's also restrictions you can put on your internet yourself, for restrictions. Also things you can do in their gaming accounts.