Where I’m at ….
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My OH was sentenced last week - he received a 9 month suspended sentence for making 9 cat b images, he'd also had a communication in kik with a police decoy who was posing as an adult, but the app had been deleted so they were unable to charge for it. I do not condone any of it, but seeing as we thought he'd receive a community order, I'm still reeling and processing. None of his rehabilitation was really taken in to account, none of the context, just the gavel going down on the evidence. Of course this means he now has 10 years on the SOR with it being over 6 months, so I'm feeling a little heartbroken at the moment for the severity of the punishment. His SHPO is for 5 years and internet restrictions only My kids are only 10 and 13, and my SS nightmare is only just beginning. I wonder how many of you have navigated increasing family time and how long it took? How does my OH demonstrate a lower risk level more quickly - could we pay for our own psycho sexual assessment? Or do we just have to play the long ball .....?
I've got my OHs suit that he wore in court at my house and I asked him tonight if he neeed it dry cleaning. He said not much point, I won't be going to any weddings any time soon - and it hit home, life is not going to be how I want it to be. I know we'll find a way because we love each other, but any words of encouragement or positive stories would be super helpful at the moment. Xxx
I've got my OHs suit that he wore in court at my house and I asked him tonight if he neeed it dry cleaning. He said not much point, I won't be going to any weddings any time soon - and it hit home, life is not going to be how I want it to be. I know we'll find a way because we love each other, but any words of encouragement or positive stories would be super helpful at the moment. Xxx
We also had sentencing last week. 12 months suspended and 10 years SHPO and SOR. My person had no idea what an SHPO was and still hasn't had the details of it. His MOSOVO said they'd be round last week but no one has been yet. He's had a couple of probation meetings. The first one he had to give his details again as they were incorrect!! Second was to meet his probation officer. Although restrictions are in place he's just glad it wasn't imprisoned. I stupidly googled his name over the weekend and apart from the press stuff I'd already seen his name had been added to a website I'd never even heard of before. So that wasn't pleasant! as for words of encouragement I think you just have to take each day as it comes. There are plenty of people out there who have made things work and I'm sure in time you'll just find your own way of doing things and getting through this xx
The quickest way to reduce their risk, is just to co operate with the police and probation. It will take time for them to get to know the PO and the VISOR/MOSOVO and those relationships will determine how they are treated.
I totally agree. He's now had his first home visit since sentencing. He's met the person before and has a good rapport with them. He did say it felt slightly different. Awkward questions and a little more serious. Which is understandable. I said it's something which will just become the norm and there isn't much choice in the matter. Just out of interest, I know they can drop in whenever but what is the frequency of these visits. I imagine it varies from place to place and on how busy they might be. Thank you
The frequency of the visits are linked to their risk. Low risk is one visit a year, medium is every 6 months, high risk is every 3 months.
Thank you
We are at the otherside my oh had one year on register and no shpo and one year supervision and social work only ever visited us once at time of arrest and we didn't hear another thing, our daughter was 13 at the time she had a chat with social work and she had a mentor at high school, just today we were out with the dog I am still looking around wondering what people think but literally every person we met bid us good morning or chatted about the weather, this very much still lives in my head and I am trying hard to put it to the back of my mind