Telling friends
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Most of our friends know about the situation with my partner to some degree. Our closest ones know every detail but where possible we haven't disclosed everything to some. We have one particular friend (and his partner) who I said to my partner right from the beginning we should disclose everything to, but my partner has been reluctant as he's a really good friend to him and I suppose he's afraid of losing him.
As far as he knows he was under investigation for video calling teens online and the police took his phone in to investigate further. We didn't tell him the results of the investigation, or that in fact his crime went beyond speaking to teens on Omegle and I actually reported him for sending a message to someone on telegram where he *almost* bought child abuse images (who he met through Omegle).
Luckily his phone turned back nothing further than this telegram message I know about and he received a caution and 2 years on the SOR for it. He's now 1 year into the 2 years and we have a holiday planned for next month where we'll be going with this friend and his 3 daughters aged 16, 4 and 3 (staying in the same hotel but different rooms).
Today my partner had his 6-monthly visit from the people who check-in on him and they've essentially given him the ultimatum of him telling this friend or they will.
I'm at a loss really as prior to this holiday he was advised he didn't need to tell them as we only see them once every couple of months and he's always supervised around the children. Now we're getting on a plane and going to be spending a little more time with them we have to tell them. Is this the usual?
As far as he knows he was under investigation for video calling teens online and the police took his phone in to investigate further. We didn't tell him the results of the investigation, or that in fact his crime went beyond speaking to teens on Omegle and I actually reported him for sending a message to someone on telegram where he *almost* bought child abuse images (who he met through Omegle).
Luckily his phone turned back nothing further than this telegram message I know about and he received a caution and 2 years on the SOR for it. He's now 1 year into the 2 years and we have a holiday planned for next month where we'll be going with this friend and his 3 daughters aged 16, 4 and 3 (staying in the same hotel but different rooms).
Today my partner had his 6-monthly visit from the people who check-in on him and they've essentially given him the ultimatum of him telling this friend or they will.
I'm at a loss really as prior to this holiday he was advised he didn't need to tell them as we only see them once every couple of months and he's always supervised around the children. Now we're getting on a plane and going to be spending a little more time with them we have to tell them. Is this the usual?
Hi Spike, I think this is fairly standard practice by the offender manager and is put in place to safeguard the person on the SO register as well as the children he will be with.
This is pretty usual. I'd do it otherwise it's not going to look good, unfortunately.
It seems reasonable. I think going on holiday without telling them fully would be a breach of trust, whether or not he is supervised. I would definitely want to know in their shoes.
Thanks for the replies! He told him on Monday and he took the news really well thankfully!