Family and Friends Forum

Fairytree123

Member since
January 2020

8 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2020 10:48amReport post

We have just had another visit from social services (the initial knock was 3 weeks ago). She has advised because my husband is still living in the family home with myself and 2 children that we may need to have a child protection conference. Initially she said she thought we'd go to a child in need plan as the police advised they saw no risk to our children. They also didn't put any bail conditions on my husband when he was RUI. I am really nervous as I have no idea what this truly means. We have a plan in place with SS that I am following to a T but she said as I'm his wife I'm not neutral enough which makes me cross as I'm doing everything they've told me to. I've no idea what to think now. I've said time again that I understand there could be a risk so I'm happy to do anything needed to keep the children safe but it feels like that isn't enough. If my husband leaves the home my children will be distraught, they're young and wouldn't understand why daddy isn't here. Has anyone else had to attend one of these conferences? What was it like? Can they take the children if we stay together? I should add my husband has claimed innocence to what he's suspected of.

Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2020 1:15pmReport post

Hi fairytree do you have mumsnet?



Please take a breath, ss can't just remove your children. A child protection conference is a meeting where different agencies attend including yourself. Each agency will produce a report some will share this with you before hand. These agency's depending on children's age will be health visitor/school nurse school maybe police social worker. and anyone else involved in children's life. There will be a chair to the Meeting who will decide along side the others whether the children meet the threshold for child protection or child in need this will be based on the info/risk and protective factors shared at the meeting. After this a plan will be created with actions as needed in order to keep the children safe/thrive. dependent on outcome they will set a date for another meeting/review but they will have mini meetings in between.- there will be others who can tell you more
you have done the right thing by saying you are open to him being a risk and stick with that! You are doing great I know how hard this is and the limbo of this really doesn't help but take it one day at a time xx

Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2020 1:21pmReport post

Just to add my partner is living with us we went to child in need plan for 2 weeks whilst ss could visit again after the initial assessment to give me some poor photo copies of warning signs of sexual abuse. After this the case was closed with the recommendations regarding supervision and do's and donts. Although these are recommendations and by law don't need to stick to them I definitely am as do t want any doubt over my care of kids or any risk to them. I was advised the case will be looked at again when they are informed of the outcome so even if NFA might still have SS to deal with when I wish this whole thing would go away xx

SallyBlue

Member since
March 2019

252 posts

Posted Wed January 8, 2020 6:26pmReport post

They cannot take your children away without them having concern of immediate risk of harm. It's horrible but you can get through this. Take everything they say and follow their rules. Prove you are a protective parent that they come first. Its frustrating and difficult as they will do everything they can to get you to seperate.

If you dont already seek an advocate for these meetings. They will help you find your voice they will explain to you what SS dont. They can also say when SS are being unreasonable without it affecting you. Sometimes you can say something and SS will twist it, if you have someone with you it's much easier. X