Starting a family years after sentencing
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Hi everyone,
I can see a lot of posts about SS involvement in families of offenders and from what I can see they are quite the nightmare and impose some really strict rules RE contact and living at the family home despite reports indicating otherwise.
My question is - has anyone started a family years after the sentencing? And if so how was SS involvement given the length of time?
I'm not sure if it's different to offending/sentencing coming about with children already in the family?
My OH was sentenced this week for viewing/accessing a handful of images but mainly engaging in communications with 13-15. The offending time was 2 months. We've been together 10 yrs and planned a life together that, despite hearing the awful details in court, I can't seem to let go of. Part of me says I'm a fool for wanting to think this isn't a sexual interest problem, and part of me believes that he's found his way down a dark path through porn addiction and sexual complusive behaviour - and that he can be rehabiliated and never do this again.
As part of my decision to stay or leave, I've been thinking about what the future looks like and how perhaps having children with him some years on would look like in terms of SS.
Any advice from someone who's done this would be gratefully appreciated.
I can see a lot of posts about SS involvement in families of offenders and from what I can see they are quite the nightmare and impose some really strict rules RE contact and living at the family home despite reports indicating otherwise.
My question is - has anyone started a family years after the sentencing? And if so how was SS involvement given the length of time?
I'm not sure if it's different to offending/sentencing coming about with children already in the family?
My OH was sentenced this week for viewing/accessing a handful of images but mainly engaging in communications with 13-15. The offending time was 2 months. We've been together 10 yrs and planned a life together that, despite hearing the awful details in court, I can't seem to let go of. Part of me says I'm a fool for wanting to think this isn't a sexual interest problem, and part of me believes that he's found his way down a dark path through porn addiction and sexual complusive behaviour - and that he can be rehabiliated and never do this again.
As part of my decision to stay or leave, I've been thinking about what the future looks like and how perhaps having children with him some years on would look like in terms of SS.
Any advice from someone who's done this would be gratefully appreciated.
I'm not in this situation, but have read pretty much everything ever posted here & on the Family Rights forum (would be useful to you). It seems standard that SS will be in you & your child's life from pregnancy onwards, your OH will have to move out, quite possibly won't be allowed at the birth & will only be allowed supervised access (they may or may not approve you to supervise, so other relatives will be involved). You might be able after much struggle to get him living with you again, probably with a fairly stringent & draining safety plan, but you may not. Sorry if that all sounds depressing! As someone who unfortunately shares children with someone (we have split up) under investigation & likely heading for an IIOC conviction, I honestly wouldn't put myself or my child through it by choice. The relatively mild SS involvement I had was more than enough!
If you got pregnant, you would need to let the midwife know at the booking appointment. His probation/visor would also need to be told. A referral would then go into SS. He would not need to move out, because there would not be any child in the home.
An assessment would need to be done about his potential risk to the child. Probation and mosovo would feed into this. There may be a request for a specialist risk assessment but often local authorities won't fund this
The outcome of this would decide the next steps. There are lots of different possible outcomes. My outcome has been my husband living with us and us having a normal family life with no restrictions other than the SOR, and this has included a pregnancy post sentencing, so a positive outcome is definitely possible, but your partner will need to be very open, honest, show reformed behaviour and thought patterns etc, be able to demonstrate progress and a lack of likelihood of reoffending. You will need to be up for accepting the possibility of risk and willing to design a safety plan which might include him not being alone with the child or not doing personal care depending on how the professionals around you view the risk. With a communication offense, the risk is likely to be seen as slightly higher than images without communication
Some local authorities are more risk averse than others, so unfortunately there is also a bit of a postcode lottery on this.
Happy to be messaged
An assessment would need to be done about his potential risk to the child. Probation and mosovo would feed into this. There may be a request for a specialist risk assessment but often local authorities won't fund this
The outcome of this would decide the next steps. There are lots of different possible outcomes. My outcome has been my husband living with us and us having a normal family life with no restrictions other than the SOR, and this has included a pregnancy post sentencing, so a positive outcome is definitely possible, but your partner will need to be very open, honest, show reformed behaviour and thought patterns etc, be able to demonstrate progress and a lack of likelihood of reoffending. You will need to be up for accepting the possibility of risk and willing to design a safety plan which might include him not being alone with the child or not doing personal care depending on how the professionals around you view the risk. With a communication offense, the risk is likely to be seen as slightly higher than images without communication
Some local authorities are more risk averse than others, so unfortunately there is also a bit of a postcode lottery on this.
Happy to be messaged