Welcome to our new topic folder “Impacted by a young person’s online sexual behaviour”
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Welcome to our new topic folder “Impacted by a young person’s online sexual behaviour”
This is a dedicated space for parents, carers, and family members of young people who have got into trouble for their online sexual behaviour. This behaviour may include accessing or sharing illegal material or having engaged in inappropriate communication online. After feedback from Forum users, we’ve created this topic folder because we recognise that when something like this happens with a young person, their situation can differ significantly from those involving adults.
Whilst putting a boundary on this discussion is difficult, our intention for this space is for discussion about the impact of the behaviour of people who are under the age of 21, or under 24 if they have learning disibilities. We may therefore use our discretion to move any posts regarding an adult’s offending to a more appropriate folder. This helps keep the support in this space as focused and relevant as possible, for those impacted by a young person’s online sexual behaviour.
You may be feeling scared, numb, confused or unsure of what to do next — all of those feelings are completely normal. During this time, it’s important to take care of yourself however you can. We have some self-care guidance available on our website, which you might find helpful to visit. Additionally, you can find a page on our forum with a list of sources of support and advice, here.
You may also helpful to visit our section with advice and support specifically for those concerned by a young person’s online sexual behaviour, which you can find here.
You can also visit and share our Shore website with the young person. This is a dedicated space for young people worried about sexual behaviours where they can receive free, anonymous and confidential help and support.
Kind regards,
The Forum Team
This is a dedicated space for parents, carers, and family members of young people who have got into trouble for their online sexual behaviour. This behaviour may include accessing or sharing illegal material or having engaged in inappropriate communication online. After feedback from Forum users, we’ve created this topic folder because we recognise that when something like this happens with a young person, their situation can differ significantly from those involving adults.
Whilst putting a boundary on this discussion is difficult, our intention for this space is for discussion about the impact of the behaviour of people who are under the age of 21, or under 24 if they have learning disibilities. We may therefore use our discretion to move any posts regarding an adult’s offending to a more appropriate folder. This helps keep the support in this space as focused and relevant as possible, for those impacted by a young person’s online sexual behaviour.
You may be feeling scared, numb, confused or unsure of what to do next — all of those feelings are completely normal. During this time, it’s important to take care of yourself however you can. We have some self-care guidance available on our website, which you might find helpful to visit. Additionally, you can find a page on our forum with a list of sources of support and advice, here.
You may also helpful to visit our section with advice and support specifically for those concerned by a young person’s online sexual behaviour, which you can find here.
You can also visit and share our Shore website with the young person. This is a dedicated space for young people worried about sexual behaviours where they can receive free, anonymous and confidential help and support.
Kind regards,
The Forum Team
Good to see this set up but do question the age bracket because a person is classed an adult from 18 in the eyes of the law.
Also the wording because in my sons case we are totally in the dark and know our sons reported items of iioc. Personally for me the heading makes them sound automatically guilty.
Also the wording because in my sons case we are totally in the dark and know our sons reported items of iioc. Personally for me the heading makes them sound automatically guilty.
Hi new here on this dreaded journey!! My 18 Yr old son I would never ever have thought I would be here he is a a star student good paid job just seemed normal ish 19 year old apart from being abit of an introvert always quiet around other people unless he knew you but a lovely lad now this I just don't understand. We have spoke since and he admitted being addicted to porn I said your a good looking lad you could of got out there an got a girlfriend or if didn't feel comfortable could have done the dating sites his reply was I've never felt good looking never looked in mirror an liked myself I cried I never knew he felt like that he goes to the gym and is a good looking lad an this is just breaking me he as now ruined his life his future like will there be any coming back from this!? he is never ever gonna be able to get a girlfriend now an live a normal life he will probably loose is little close group friends he had loose his job loose his flat he's just got! sorry for long post I'm waffling now but I just don't know what to do.
I want to help and support him but how do I do that....
I want to help and support him but how do I do that....
Absolutely heartbroken
Welcome, sadly you're not alone. There are many parents here.
How is your son coping? It's a horrible time, I hope you're both doing what you can to just get through these early stages.
Have you spoken to the helpline at all? There are course both you and your son can do. And there are organisations you can contact for counselling too, when you're ready.
Have the police given him/you much insight into what they have found/suspect? That might give you a starting point on where this might go, from a legal perspective (although it's not always very clear what might happen, and it seems to vary significantly case by case).
It sounds like you have a good relationship with your son and he's being quite open with you, which is good. He really needs you right now, and it can be quite a long road ahead unfortunately.
Do you have any support? Anyone safe you can confide in? Although generally I think the best approach is to tell as few people as absolutely possible. I've told no-one, which is lonely and isolating but I really want to protect my son. So I find my support here- the forum is full of wise, kind, knowledgeable, caring people.
You're not alone x x
Welcome, sadly you're not alone. There are many parents here.
How is your son coping? It's a horrible time, I hope you're both doing what you can to just get through these early stages.
Have you spoken to the helpline at all? There are course both you and your son can do. And there are organisations you can contact for counselling too, when you're ready.
Have the police given him/you much insight into what they have found/suspect? That might give you a starting point on where this might go, from a legal perspective (although it's not always very clear what might happen, and it seems to vary significantly case by case).
It sounds like you have a good relationship with your son and he's being quite open with you, which is good. He really needs you right now, and it can be quite a long road ahead unfortunately.
Do you have any support? Anyone safe you can confide in? Although generally I think the best approach is to tell as few people as absolutely possible. I've told no-one, which is lonely and isolating but I really want to protect my son. So I find my support here- the forum is full of wise, kind, knowledgeable, caring people.
You're not alone x x
Hi Starr
Thank you for your reply!
I think he is doing OK better then what he was from when it all first come to light he didn't want to be here which was awful as he had to move out so I couldn't even keep an eye on him. But he has since got a little place of his own an when I speak to him always says he's OK and always so sorry for what he's done. He works full time so at work everyday which keeps my mind at rest. He misses being at home I know that and I really miss him here he's never been away from home and just the thing that he can't come bk and just pop in when he wants is heartbreaking.
I have spoke on the chat today as just feel lost I have got my partner for support but we are on different pages with it all he want to tell everyone and not seen my son since and I don't want to tell anyone yet! And want to try help and support my son. I 100 percent do not agree with what he's done but I don't feel I can just cut ties with him he's got no one.
Police just said IIoc but who knows what they will come back with I think A B & C.
How have you coped? It's so hard isn't it feel so alone I am here if ever want to talk we could chat x
Thank you for your reply!
I think he is doing OK better then what he was from when it all first come to light he didn't want to be here which was awful as he had to move out so I couldn't even keep an eye on him. But he has since got a little place of his own an when I speak to him always says he's OK and always so sorry for what he's done. He works full time so at work everyday which keeps my mind at rest. He misses being at home I know that and I really miss him here he's never been away from home and just the thing that he can't come bk and just pop in when he wants is heartbreaking.
I have spoke on the chat today as just feel lost I have got my partner for support but we are on different pages with it all he want to tell everyone and not seen my son since and I don't want to tell anyone yet! And want to try help and support my son. I 100 percent do not agree with what he's done but I don't feel I can just cut ties with him he's got no one.
Police just said IIoc but who knows what they will come back with I think A B & C.
How have you coped? It's so hard isn't it feel so alone I am here if ever want to talk we could chat x