Character References
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Hi All,
Thinking a long way ahead I know, regarding character refetences. My sons solicitor said he doesn't think they are that important, except maybe his parents. But I've read many times on here that people feel the character references their person had, were helpful. Are they? As there are other people that want to wrote one for him too.
Also, I have no idea how to go about writing one. I'm not asking to be told what to say, I know it has to be from me, but I haven't a clue what is helpful or an important thing to say. I have a habit of going on too much, so wouldn't want the reference to lose its way with my waffling or going in to too much detail.
Any advice appreciated
Thinking a long way ahead I know, regarding character refetences. My sons solicitor said he doesn't think they are that important, except maybe his parents. But I've read many times on here that people feel the character references their person had, were helpful. Are they? As there are other people that want to wrote one for him too.
Also, I have no idea how to go about writing one. I'm not asking to be told what to say, I know it has to be from me, but I haven't a clue what is helpful or an important thing to say. I have a habit of going on too much, so wouldn't want the reference to lose its way with my waffling or going in to too much detail.
Any advice appreciated
Hi CederKey
I think it is a good idea to start putting a character reference together.
As your son has autism it is so important that it is documented how autism affects him on a daily basis. It would also be good to find his original diagnosis letter and any other professional documentation that supports his diagnosis and how it impacts on him.
Information you may wish to include in your Character Reference:-
1. Your son's personal qualities, for example if he is kind natured, sensitive, hard working, not street wise etc
2. What he is currently doing - is he working, studying, volunteering etc.
3.He has a diagnosis of Autism, the age he was diagnosed. How this affects him on a daily basis, like is he socially isolated, socially naive, has anxiety, trusts people etc.
4.You are aware of the seriousness of the crime and how your son has been since the knock - the remorse he has shown, the effect on his mental health and how it has affected him and the family.
Do not say anything about how you think what sentencing your son should get. This is very frowned upon.
Anyone who knows your son well could also do a character reference for him.
I hope this helps. I am sure other members will make more suggestions on what to include in a Character Reference.
Thinking of you.
I think it is a good idea to start putting a character reference together.
As your son has autism it is so important that it is documented how autism affects him on a daily basis. It would also be good to find his original diagnosis letter and any other professional documentation that supports his diagnosis and how it impacts on him.
Information you may wish to include in your Character Reference:-
1. Your son's personal qualities, for example if he is kind natured, sensitive, hard working, not street wise etc
2. What he is currently doing - is he working, studying, volunteering etc.
3.He has a diagnosis of Autism, the age he was diagnosed. How this affects him on a daily basis, like is he socially isolated, socially naive, has anxiety, trusts people etc.
4.You are aware of the seriousness of the crime and how your son has been since the knock - the remorse he has shown, the effect on his mental health and how it has affected him and the family.
Do not say anything about how you think what sentencing your son should get. This is very frowned upon.
Anyone who knows your son well could also do a character reference for him.
I hope this helps. I am sure other members will make more suggestions on what to include in a Character Reference.
Thinking of you.
Hi, That is so helpful thank you, it can be more detailed than I realised. I do have his original Asperger diagnosis age 10. I think I'll make a start on it & can change/ edit/add as I go on. Thank you.
Hi Cederkey
I did start early and like you say you can add/edit/ delete bits over time. It being a 'work in progress' means you have the time to really reflect on it and decide what are the most important/relevants parts to include.
In a situation where we have little control I found it helped me to focus on such things I could control like preparing a character reference.
You can check with your solicitor but I think your son can also write a letter to the judge if he wishes to, showing his remorse and details of any therapy/help he has undertaken since the knock.
I did start early and like you say you can add/edit/ delete bits over time. It being a 'work in progress' means you have the time to really reflect on it and decide what are the most important/relevants parts to include.
In a situation where we have little control I found it helped me to focus on such things I could control like preparing a character reference.
You can check with your solicitor but I think your son can also write a letter to the judge if he wishes to, showing his remorse and details of any therapy/help he has undertaken since the knock.
Hi, my son was informed when character references could be submitted and we kept it to myself as his mum, two grandparents and his girlfriend. So just the four of us. We were advised that the judge will not have endless time available to read large numbers or anything that goes on for pages.
Each individual writing the reference stated who they were by name, their relationship to my son and that they were fully aware of all charges against him. The confirmation of awareness of charges against him is necessary.
I detailed any trauma experienced, disabilities and how this has impacted them and potentially their ability to make informed choices. Any intervention they may have had in childhood/school. Their age and lack of emotional intelligence. Their friendships or lack of. Self worth and general outlook. Behavioural tendencies that may support and explain why this happened. Their achievements and goals
Good luck in your journey xx
Each individual writing the reference stated who they were by name, their relationship to my son and that they were fully aware of all charges against him. The confirmation of awareness of charges against him is necessary.
I detailed any trauma experienced, disabilities and how this has impacted them and potentially their ability to make informed choices. Any intervention they may have had in childhood/school. Their age and lack of emotional intelligence. Their friendships or lack of. Self worth and general outlook. Behavioural tendencies that may support and explain why this happened. Their achievements and goals
Good luck in your journey xx
My husband, myself and a couple of family friends did references for my son. I'm not sure how much influence these had on the judge but he did seem to like the letter from LFF which explained my son had completed the Engage plus course and the letter from my sons therapist outlining the therapy he had been through. He referenced both these several times during the sentencing.
Thanks so much, just the advice I needed x