Family and Friends Forum

Lizzy

Member since
January 2020

12 posts

Posted Fri January 10, 2020 1:34pmReport post

Hi. Is it likely that my son will be ever employable.

Such a waste.

Still struggling to get my head around all this.

X

Guy40s

Member since
January 2020

4 posts

Posted Fri January 10, 2020 4:16pmReport post

I am sorry to hear that.

What happened?



there is always a way out.

nicenana

Member since
March 2019

243 posts

Posted Fri January 10, 2020 11:37pmReport post

Hi lizzie

im in a similar position to you. My son is in prison the moment but it was a communication offence he commited.
Things get easier with time but I don't think it goes away. You get used to a new way of life. It's not the same but nothing can ever be the same after something like this.

From reading posts on here I have genuine hope that my son will work again. He just won't be able to do certain jobs. From reading posts on here it seems likely he will never be employed to do the job he once did but I do think he will work.

we are thinking of starting a small company ourself just so he never had to disclose anything to an employer because most jobs now ask in application forms whether you've been convicted of a crime or not. There is one or two gaps in the market here that may work with little start up cost so we will see what happens when he comes home.

If I remember rightly your sons offence is very recent. If so, you will be down,down, down but I promise you it wont always be like that. In my experience my "healing " started as soon as our son got convicted. You may not believe me but it was a relief after it had been heard in court for two reasons. First and foremost it was a relief that our son had told us everything truthfully from the start of it as sometimes people lie and things are ten times worse than you were told. Secondly, although It was the most gut wrenching feeling when our son went to prison it meant no more lies. I did not have to keep secrets because the press printed the whole story. You'd think this would set me back but it spdidnt. I was relieved that it was out in the open because when it was a secret my mental health went very wonky. So much so I very nearly never made it through.

Just remember you will feel better in time. Your son just made a bad judgment call in the same way my son did. Remember to look after you as well as your son because mums, partners, aunts, uncles, siblings and grandparent often spend so much time looking after the offender they forget to look after themselves.

Id advise you to keep coming here and maybe join mumsnet where you can private message people who are in a similar/ same position as you. It's not for everyone but it's helped me quite a lot x

Nonna

Member since
December 2018

85 posts

Posted Sat January 11, 2020 7:23pmReport post

Hi Lizzy

It can work out , my son is working for company with day release to college , so yes dont lose hope , I know it's hard and all you can see is darkness but as time goes on they can find ways of forging a new way , you can message me on mumsnet Rocknroll1965, how is your son ? Xx

Janno

Member since
July 2019

50 posts

Posted Sun January 12, 2020 8:26pmReport post

Hi lizzy I'm not sure my boy will ever work he's very socially awkward ! We are 6 months post conviction and still very much 1day at a time xx

WALLFLOWER

Member since
January 2020

6 posts

Posted Sun January 26, 2020 2:44pmReport post

Hi Lizzy

My son went to prison and served 4 months. He is still on the SOR and hopefully in a couple of years we can get this quashed.

He was fortunate enough to be self-employed so didn't have the problem of declaring to an employer.

Being on the SOR is a system set up for failure. How is anyone supposed to rehabilitate when they have to carry this around for years like an albatross around their neck?

Sending love and support to you x

Mum15

Member since
February 2020

10 posts

Posted Wed February 19, 2020 10:24pmReport post

hi

my first time on here

my son is 36 worked in IT for local authority for 7 years no issues at work never been in trouble before the knock

he is single no children he was disciplined and lost his job they agreed to give him a basic reference

he is SOR for 5 years he completed 100 hours comm service asap and sees prob officer once a month considered low risk

he is not able to drive uses public transport every where willing to travel long distance

he is on benefits which are due to change to universal credit shortly

he is applying for jobs all the time had interviews been offered 2 jobs but when he disclosed SOR the offers were withdrawn

he is trying to remain positive and I am doing my best to keep positive for him but as you can

appreciate it is difficult and I am extremely worried about him all the time

any ideas of where he can try for work where the employer will accept people on SOR??

thanks for listening

Mum15

Member since
February 2020

10 posts

Posted Fri February 21, 2020 9:51pmReport post

thanks Lee 69 for your kind caring response it is very much appreciated xx