Missing out on your other child
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Hi,
One thing that has been hitting me for a while, based on the restrictions we live by, is that I'm missing out on my other son and he is missing out on a normal teenage years.
It wasn't such an issue in the part as he was younger, but now he's 17 so wanting more independence and because he cannot have friends round until they turn 18 it means he's always out. We don't have the sound of music blaring, or mates banter, or any friends round because if we did we would have to disclose.
I'm not feeling resentful because we have adjusted to our new normal, but...
I miss him.
Don't get me wrong, he's out living his best life as it should be, in his friends homes etc but it means he is never home, and he is unable to do this here. 16 months to go but he will be 18 then and onto different things. Oh how I wish I could turn back the years with hindsight and magical powers to stop this from ever happening.
One thing that has been hitting me for a while, based on the restrictions we live by, is that I'm missing out on my other son and he is missing out on a normal teenage years.
It wasn't such an issue in the part as he was younger, but now he's 17 so wanting more independence and because he cannot have friends round until they turn 18 it means he's always out. We don't have the sound of music blaring, or mates banter, or any friends round because if we did we would have to disclose.
I'm not feeling resentful because we have adjusted to our new normal, but...
I miss him.
Don't get me wrong, he's out living his best life as it should be, in his friends homes etc but it means he is never home, and he is unable to do this here. 16 months to go but he will be 18 then and onto different things. Oh how I wish I could turn back the years with hindsight and magical powers to stop this from ever happening.
So Tired x
Hugs sent as always lovely x
This journey is so difficult isnt it
For me I was so devastated for my offending son and the new way of adjusting to the new normal, getting through each day was a challenge in itself
My offending son has an older brother who to be honest I didn't realise how it effected him
Its different for my as my offending son is in prison so we dont have the same restrictions currently so I can only guess how hard it is for you
How is your eldest boy doing? What is their relationship like?
You are an incredibly amazing mum ( look how far you have all come)
As hard as it is for now it will settle, your 17 yr old son sounds like he has a great social life and is doing really well,
They are indeed so very lucky to have such an amazing mum by their side,
I will never forget the time you purchased that face cream over the dishwasher :-) xx
Hugs sent as always lovely x
This journey is so difficult isnt it
For me I was so devastated for my offending son and the new way of adjusting to the new normal, getting through each day was a challenge in itself
My offending son has an older brother who to be honest I didn't realise how it effected him
Its different for my as my offending son is in prison so we dont have the same restrictions currently so I can only guess how hard it is for you
How is your eldest boy doing? What is their relationship like?
You are an incredibly amazing mum ( look how far you have all come)
As hard as it is for now it will settle, your 17 yr old son sounds like he has a great social life and is doing really well,
They are indeed so very lucky to have such an amazing mum by their side,
I will never forget the time you purchased that face cream over the dishwasher :-) xx
Love buying face cream over the dishwasher!!! You go girl. We don't put ourselves first - enough.
I love that it sounds like your teenager is social, popular and living his best life. Well done you for raising such lovely lad who doesn't throw a fit but works around a situation. We have agreed to same family safety plan and I hope it works out for us the same when he is near 18 in a few year's time.
Us mothers have so much mum guilt, over anything and everything but truth would likely be that you are doing an exceptionally well under the circumstances, and so is he.
What's 'normal teenage years' anyway, it's so unique and complex under 'normal' circumstances.
I love that it sounds like your teenager is social, popular and living his best life. Well done you for raising such lovely lad who doesn't throw a fit but works around a situation. We have agreed to same family safety plan and I hope it works out for us the same when he is near 18 in a few year's time.
Us mothers have so much mum guilt, over anything and everything but truth would likely be that you are doing an exceptionally well under the circumstances, and so is he.
What's 'normal teenage years' anyway, it's so unique and complex under 'normal' circumstances.
Thanks everyone!
Upset, you always just know the right things to say. I needed to hear that! And, hahahaha to the face cream instead of a dishwasher (the face cream was not as expensive as a dishwasher l, to clarify!) I've actually now bought a puppy instead of a new kitchen. Blew all of my savings on him and he is bringing joy to our family and us all closer together far more than a kitchen ever would. Also, about to purchase a holiday I can't afford before ETIAS comes in as based on the potential restrictions it may be our only chance to have a holiday together.
My 17 year old is doing really well. Flying through his apprenticeship and is going to qualify earlier, has a bunch of lovely friends and a girlfriend! He turns 18 in 4 months so the holiday will also be to celebrate that and my eldest turning 21. Can't believe my eldest had only just turned 16 when all of this happened. He is also doing really well and has secured a promotion to supervisor at work, so there is hope. I just need him to keep being positive, living the good life and staying on the straight and narrow.
Their relationship is good. We have had a wobble recently where my youngest felt resentment but we have talked it through (although he is attempting to have an attitude at times and push the boundaries jut that is getting swiftly nipped in the bud.) But, that's just typical teenager angst, drama and stroppiness really.
It's really lovely to hear from you. Hope HC is doing well and you're still having fur baby days! Would love to hear more. I do lurk and saw you weren't doing Friday's any more. You've got to put your own journey first.
Flower, if this journey has taught me anything it's that life is far too short and for living. Take pleasure in the small stuff. Everything else is manageable. Thanks for your lovely words.
Starr... you've got this. Let's keep in touch with our messages
xxx
Upset, you always just know the right things to say. I needed to hear that! And, hahahaha to the face cream instead of a dishwasher (the face cream was not as expensive as a dishwasher l, to clarify!) I've actually now bought a puppy instead of a new kitchen. Blew all of my savings on him and he is bringing joy to our family and us all closer together far more than a kitchen ever would. Also, about to purchase a holiday I can't afford before ETIAS comes in as based on the potential restrictions it may be our only chance to have a holiday together.
My 17 year old is doing really well. Flying through his apprenticeship and is going to qualify earlier, has a bunch of lovely friends and a girlfriend! He turns 18 in 4 months so the holiday will also be to celebrate that and my eldest turning 21. Can't believe my eldest had only just turned 16 when all of this happened. He is also doing really well and has secured a promotion to supervisor at work, so there is hope. I just need him to keep being positive, living the good life and staying on the straight and narrow.
Their relationship is good. We have had a wobble recently where my youngest felt resentment but we have talked it through (although he is attempting to have an attitude at times and push the boundaries jut that is getting swiftly nipped in the bud.) But, that's just typical teenager angst, drama and stroppiness really.
It's really lovely to hear from you. Hope HC is doing well and you're still having fur baby days! Would love to hear more. I do lurk and saw you weren't doing Friday's any more. You've got to put your own journey first.
Flower, if this journey has taught me anything it's that life is far too short and for living. Take pleasure in the small stuff. Everything else is manageable. Thanks for your lovely words.
Starr... you've got this. Let's keep in touch with our messages
xxx
So Tired x
Oh how lovely, sod the kitchen, the love a furbaby brings out weighs anything we could ever imagine ( unconditional love, unconditional reasons for having to go out on walks, and the most important factor is just how they bring everything together)
Your post is so heartwarming, look at how far you have all managed to navigate this journey
Where have you planned to go on your family holiday?
So pleased to read your 17 year old almost 18 year old boy is doing well ( and of course he will as he has you by his side) great friends, a G/F, a fantastic social life that is all.we can wish for xx
Your eldest boy well what can I say other than I am so happy for both of you, a young son who ended up here, has dealt with so much and is now just blossoming in to a young man who despite this journey has grown so much and is doing so well in his work ( he should be so bloomin proud of himself) this journey does not define who they are and he is so deserving of been able to rebuild xx
Oh how lovely, sod the kitchen, the love a furbaby brings out weighs anything we could ever imagine ( unconditional love, unconditional reasons for having to go out on walks, and the most important factor is just how they bring everything together)
Your post is so heartwarming, look at how far you have all managed to navigate this journey
Where have you planned to go on your family holiday?
So pleased to read your 17 year old almost 18 year old boy is doing well ( and of course he will as he has you by his side) great friends, a G/F, a fantastic social life that is all.we can wish for xx
Your eldest boy well what can I say other than I am so happy for both of you, a young son who ended up here, has dealt with so much and is now just blossoming in to a young man who despite this journey has grown so much and is doing so well in his work ( he should be so bloomin proud of himself) this journey does not define who they are and he is so deserving of been able to rebuild xx