What is going on? :(
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Hi all,
im just a bit lost at the moment.
I received a phone call last Friday from the police who told me myhalf brother had been arrested for downloading indecent images of children. It obviously came as a complete and utter shock. The reason they had to inform me was he had disclosed he had access to my young baby daughter.
over the last few days I’ve been trying to make some sense of it all. How could he do this? Will he be going to prison? What will happen to his home (my childhood home) What exactly was he looking at? (Weird one I know, Not that any sort of these illegal images are less disgusting than another). Do I support him?!!
My my brother lives alone, has done for pretty much his whole adult life. We lost our Mum and he lost his father shortly after. He is severely depressed and has been for a long time.
I just don’t know. I love my brother but I hate what he’s done.
im just a bit lost at the moment.
I received a phone call last Friday from the police who told me myhalf brother had been arrested for downloading indecent images of children. It obviously came as a complete and utter shock. The reason they had to inform me was he had disclosed he had access to my young baby daughter.
over the last few days I’ve been trying to make some sense of it all. How could he do this? Will he be going to prison? What will happen to his home (my childhood home) What exactly was he looking at? (Weird one I know, Not that any sort of these illegal images are less disgusting than another). Do I support him?!!
My my brother lives alone, has done for pretty much his whole adult life. We lost our Mum and he lost his father shortly after. He is severely depressed and has been for a long time.
I just don’t know. I love my brother but I hate what he’s done.
Hi Christine - not sure I can give you any sensible advice but just want to send you a big hug. It really is a very confusing time. Do you have anyone to talk to who can help you process what has happened? It is just devastating to find out something like this about someone you love and makes you question yourself. Just keep asking your questions here and look after yourself. Have you been in touch with the helpline? Lots of love to you. X
Hi Christine,
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. If you feel it will help then talk to him, ask him whatever you want to ask. It may really help him too. I know in my case, it has helped us loads talking about it and what triggered it etc.
Please speak to the Stop it now guys, they have been my absolute saviour over the past 7 weeks. I do not know what I would have done without them. The same goes for my Husband, they have really helped him too. If your Brother will talk to them then get him to call, they really do not judge at all.
Good luck x
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. If you feel it will help then talk to him, ask him whatever you want to ask. It may really help him too. I know in my case, it has helped us loads talking about it and what triggered it etc.
Please speak to the Stop it now guys, they have been my absolute saviour over the past 7 weeks. I do not know what I would have done without them. The same goes for my Husband, they have really helped him too. If your Brother will talk to them then get him to call, they really do not judge at all.
Good luck x
Thank you all so much for replying.
I was going out of my mind yesterday evening so my husband said he would go and see my brother. I’m terrified of him doing something stupid.
he asked a few of the questions... and I’m not sure I feel any better knowing. In fact it has made me be physically sick thinking about it. OH’ asked him if he could tell him what it was he was looking at (age wise). He said it didn’t really work like that and it was just a file you downloaded that contained all sorts. He said he’s seen everything. I’m distraught. I know a child is a child. But with me having a baby I keep looking at her and thinking HOW?! It’s just so cruel and these poor poor children can not defend themselves. And then I’m thinking did he look at her when I changed her nappy infront of him?
I have always looked up to my brother. He’s considerably older than me and I’ve never felt uncomfortable around him. He doted on me and my older sister when we were younger.
Maybe in time I’ll be able to speak to him face to face but my emotions are all over. I wrote down stop it nows helpline for him and he told my OH he rang then today. He’s also ringing his GP tomorrow so at least he is reaching out.
hugs to you all on this horrible journey xx
I was going out of my mind yesterday evening so my husband said he would go and see my brother. I’m terrified of him doing something stupid.
he asked a few of the questions... and I’m not sure I feel any better knowing. In fact it has made me be physically sick thinking about it. OH’ asked him if he could tell him what it was he was looking at (age wise). He said it didn’t really work like that and it was just a file you downloaded that contained all sorts. He said he’s seen everything. I’m distraught. I know a child is a child. But with me having a baby I keep looking at her and thinking HOW?! It’s just so cruel and these poor poor children can not defend themselves. And then I’m thinking did he look at her when I changed her nappy infront of him?
I have always looked up to my brother. He’s considerably older than me and I’ve never felt uncomfortable around him. He doted on me and my older sister when we were younger.
Maybe in time I’ll be able to speak to him face to face but my emotions are all over. I wrote down stop it nows helpline for him and he told my OH he rang then today. He’s also ringing his GP tomorrow so at least he is reaching out.
hugs to you all on this horrible journey xx
Christine,
I felt exactly the same and if I said 'how could he' once I must have said it a thousand times in 7 weeks! I have thought every scenario possible, did he look at our kids that way, did he look at their friends that way, did he think of children when we had sex and it wasn't until I called the helpline that I realised it really isn't as black and white as what I was thinking. My Husband has a huge sex addiction so after some counselling and hours of reading I now know way more than I did before I joined this club which has given me a much broader idea of why these men do this type of thing. It certainly doesn't give them an excuse but it may help you understand a bit more.
Just keep trying to talk to him and you will get a better understanding of what and why he has done this. It really will help you.
I felt exactly the same and if I said 'how could he' once I must have said it a thousand times in 7 weeks! I have thought every scenario possible, did he look at our kids that way, did he look at their friends that way, did he think of children when we had sex and it wasn't until I called the helpline that I realised it really isn't as black and white as what I was thinking. My Husband has a huge sex addiction so after some counselling and hours of reading I now know way more than I did before I joined this club which has given me a much broader idea of why these men do this type of thing. It certainly doesn't give them an excuse but it may help you understand a bit more.
Just keep trying to talk to him and you will get a better understanding of what and why he has done this. It really will help you.